Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how the hell single parents...

272 replies

HonestTeacher · 09/01/2018 18:51

look after their children when they are feeling ill them self?

I have awful sickness bug and cannot even look after myself. DP has to do everything for me. Got me wondering what I would do if I was a single parent and had to look after children whilst being this ill. Single parents, how do you manage to look aftef your children when you are also ill?! You are truly superheroes.

OP posts:
buddhasbelly · 09/01/2018 18:53

I middle through I guess. Not really an alternative is there?!

I do remember one night where me and dd were taking it in turns to throw up...not the most enjoyable of evenings!

TiredBefuddledRose · 09/01/2018 18:55

Because single parents just have to suck it up and get on with it.
I have a theory that you're only as wussy as your situation allows.
That doesn't mean anyone's situation is more or less hard just that people adapt!

MrsMaxwell · 09/01/2018 18:55

You just get on with it. I had three and taught the eldest how to make toast/cereal very very young Grin

KriticalSoul · 09/01/2018 18:56

so far, with the aid of the sofa and electronic devices. Luckily only been ill over holidays so haven't had to negotiate getting them to school, but hopefully in that situation ExH would still step up as for all he's a crap H, he's still a good dad (thank god)

Shimshiminysheroo · 09/01/2018 18:57

You get on with it Grin

MuttsNutts · 09/01/2018 19:02

You just manage because you have no choice. I had no support whatsoever after EXH left and no-one locally (I moved area when pregnant) so when DS was younger I just used to do what I had to do to care for him in small bursts before collapsing back on the sofa.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 09/01/2018 19:02

Because what else can you do?!

I find it so irritating when my friends say 'I don't know how you do it all on your own', I feel like screaming 'what's the fucking alternative!'

mustbemad17 · 09/01/2018 19:03

As above, you literally have to suck it up. One particular illness bout sticks in my head; i had to crawl anywhere i wanted to go & resorted to pushing a bowl with me in case i vomited 😬 DD was like 18 months then & survived on whatever i could wrestle from the cupboards 🙈

Timemachinetoast · 09/01/2018 19:04

With great difficulty and guilt!

If I'm ill I get out the ipad and hope for the best.

RadioGaGoo · 09/01/2018 19:05

I can't even begin to imagine how single parents get shit done. They are bloody amazing in my book.

Skowvegas · 09/01/2018 19:06

I am curious about this. I'm not a single parent but when DH was 3000 miles away I was transferred from the GP surgery to the ER by ambulance. I had to leave my children in the waiting room, and luckily was able to get a neighbour to pick them up.

I wonder how single parents would get through that. It must be so hard.

RadioGaGoo · 09/01/2018 19:06

.... Ah. Sorry HollyBollyBooBoo.

caringcarer · 09/01/2018 19:07

I would have thought it was obvious that id alone you just have to cope unless in hospital. Some may have other support networks of family or friends who would help out.

Neverender · 09/01/2018 19:07

This won't end well. I once started a post in admiration of single parents and got torn to shreds...

NukaColaGirl · 09/01/2018 19:07

With great fucking difficulty and lots of tears. I had norovirus for 5 days, puking every hour for the first 2 days, on top of the shits. All whilst wrestling with a 15 month old who kept trying to climb on me whilst I was vomiting, sticking her hands in the toilet, crying for my attention, I had a fever too and couldn’t even keep water down. It was absolutely horrific. I wasn’t making it to the toilet a lot of the time either which I then I had to try and clean up whilst stopping toddler from getting at it Sad I rang all of my sisters begging for help on Day 3 and got told to stop being dramatic (much younger than me with no DC of their own yet, what a shock they’re in for when they have them and are ill)

NoqontroI · 09/01/2018 19:08

There's no choice but to suck it up. I'd love to just crawl into bed and sleep when I'm sick but it's not an option. Still remember when me and two DC all had a sickness bug at the same time. That was fun...

TellMeDinosaurFacts · 09/01/2018 19:09

You're all bloody heroes. I'm properly flu-ridden for the first time since DD and DS were born and have completely left DH to it with childcare. I've been wondering this exact question.

endofacentury · 09/01/2018 19:09

It's utterly horrible but you have to get through the day as best you can. Feed and change babies and not a lot else! It's happened to me many times and it's awful but there's no alternative

user1471530109 · 09/01/2018 19:09

I remember breastfeeding and throwing up over and over whilst 4 yr old kept getting bowls and towels.

Now that was truly horrific. It wasn't a bug I had a weird reaction to ketones with high blood sugar

hattyhighlighter · 09/01/2018 19:09

With fucking difficulty. No family support and when I've been very ill it has been the lowest of the low. But there is no choice, we have to. Thanks for the kind words, to have that acknowledgement means a lot actually, to me anyway, single parents often get a bit overlooked.
Get well soon honestteacher

TheSameCoin · 09/01/2018 19:10

As other have said, you muddle through because what else can you do? I’ve fortunately never been so ill that I literally couldn’t get out of bed but the DCs have been fed toast, bananas and chocolate biscuits for tea on ocassion because I wasn’t up to making anything else.

IrkThePurist · 09/01/2018 19:10

I managed through swine flu. I just left all the housework and luckily the DC's were old enough to not flood/burn down the house. They could also get to the corner shop, and there's a cash point outside.
I slept on the sofa for 2 weeks and they watched tv while feeding me juice and tea.

But when I was rushed into A&E unexpectedly, they had to go into foster care for a week. It was awful. DS called the ambulance and packed a hospital bag, he was 10.

NoqontroI · 09/01/2018 19:11

I've got a friend who would leave work and collect them in that kind of emergency skowvegas. If I didn't then I guess it would have to be social services and emergency respite care.

Maybeshewasntbornwithit · 09/01/2018 19:11

Single parent now but before exH was working away, on my own all week. Sickness bugs and heavy colds etc were got through by DS having an unhealthy amount of screen time and chocolate and take away for his dinner. It's fine for a couple of days. Any more than that I'd have to call friends. Found I recovered from illness much quicker than before DS though

TheSameCoin · 09/01/2018 19:12

It is bloody difficult though. Once when I had norovirus, I fainted in front of my children. They were very frightened but fortunately I came round quickly. They know how to make a 999 call but I do worry about how they’d cope if I was taken suddenly ill.