about the childminder and conjunctivitis

[mikesh909]

Background: DD is 1 and attends a childminder usually 3 days per week. This week she is booked in for all 5 days due to a temporary change in my work schedule. Other than attending this childminder, she is at home with her father and me. No other groups / settings / activities. We have been so busy lately due to work commitments we have been nowhere and seen no-one.

Over the weekend DD came down with conjunctivitis. We saw a pharmacist who said nothing OTC for 1 year olds. I read the NHS website which states Public Health England advises no need to stay home from work / school / nursery (www.nhs.uk/conditions/conjunctivitis/#work-and-school). I also read their parent handbook which states 48 hr exclusion period for D&V but mild illnesses e.g. colds are acceptable. I am a teacher and its not easy for me to take days off. DH stands to lose a sizeable Christmas bonus if he takes any days off for any reason in December. DD seemed well in herself so we dropped her off as usual this morning.

By midmorning I had received notification to pick her up. I now understand that the 'mild illnesses' in the policy doesn't cover conjunctivitis. Despite the huge hassles and financial losses that this will incur, I understand that I must make alternative arrangements for the rest of the week.

In the text conversation and then later when I collected DD, the CM herself and one of her team were both very insistent that she had not contracted the infection whilst in their care. In response to this, I was equally insistent that she most likely had. I cannot see how she could have picked it up from home when neither of us have (or have ever had!) this infection and no-one else has been here. She has not been anywhere else. There are many other kids / parents at this setting and they also go on regular outings to other public places. The conversation got a little awkward in the end. I told the CM I was finding the insistence hard to take. So... 1. Was IBU to press the point that the overwhelming probability is that my DD picked up this infection whilst in their care? I need to contact them to confirm her hours for January - 2. Would IBU to mention it in writing? Her response at the time was about protecting the other children - which indicates to me she hasn't really understood my point. I.e. that I know I need to keep DD at home for that exact purpose, but nonetheless I'm unhappy with their obstinance.

How can you send your child off to spend the day with other children when they are almost certain to infect those children with conjunctivitis right before Christmas?

Read the above? I explained how we took our decision. Thank you for your input but that wasn't the question I asked.

conjunctivitis is really contagious YABU and unfair to the other children i

You shouldn't have sent her. End of really

Why are you allowed to insist upon something, but the childminder is not?

Maybe she doesn't like your obstinance either!

I dunno I wouldn't insist that she'd picked it up there tbh. But it's most likely.

DD's nursery allow kids in with conjunctivitis, which resulted in her having it four times in 4 months when she was 1. That was a massive pain.

You can’t know for sure that she contracted it in their care - you can feel sure of it but you can’t prove it and there’s no point pursuing that point in my opinion. Equally they are being unreasonable to strongly say she didn’t - but I imagine they don’t want to be held liable.

Anyway, it is irrelevant how inconvenient it is to you (unfortunately) as you can’t send a child with an infection like this or D and V into a setting.

Does it really matter? Like, really?

For all you know you could have transmitted it to your kid.

This is literally what ruins a childcare professionals day.

Thank you for your input but that wasn't the question I asked.

I've explained how we made the decision and that I understand why they asked us to collect her and that we have made alternative arrangements for the week. I'm not in the business of repeating myself, so I won't be doing so again.

If anyone has any comments as to the actual questions I asked, I would be happy to hear them!

Was IBU to press the point that the overwhelming probability is that my DD picked up this infection whilst in their care? I need to contact them to confirm her hours for January - 2. Would IBU to mention it in writing?

I believe I have responded to your questions as asked.

My comment answers your question.

You were unreasonable to insist on the childminder being wrong.

You would be very unreasonable to put it into writing.

Be careful, or you may find that you no longer have childcare!

I don’t think you quite understand how conjunctivitis works. She doesn’t necessarily need to have caught it from anyone. Babies have very narrow and easily blocked tear ducts. The ordinarily harmless bacteria found around the eyes and on the skin can get trapped in there, leading them to become multiply and more active and an infection to set in. These bacteria can then pass to other children and give them the infection. So YABU and you owe your childminder an apology.

Conjunctivitis is a business as usual infection. I wrote a large feature about this for a magazine in a previous life time. All medical opinion is to leave it unless it’s a tiny baby or especially bad To carry on with your day. There is no need to exclude from settings.

chickenowner because as I explained in my home there are two people - myself and my partner. We know that neither of us has or has had conjunctivitis. We know it and so we can insist on that fact. However, the CM is not able to offer me the same reassurance, given how many children and parents pass through their setting and how many other people DD comes into contact with outside the setting on visits etc.

However, you are right. She did not like my insistence. That's the nature of my question! Bearing in mind the above, was I being unreasonable to insist?

Why do you need to press the point? Unless they actually knew another child had had it before yours then no one can say for sure where she picked it up anyway

Yes, you were unreasonable to insist that you are right and she is wrong. How could you possibly know that?

Does it matter if she caught it there? That's the risk when you use child care. And then when they go to pre school, school etc!

So YABU to keep going on about it.

I’m a bit confused as you don’t see an issue in sending her but you also think that she got it there so you know how easily transferable it is and she could easily infect others?
If the childminder knows that no other children there have had it then she can say that with certainty but actually neither of you knows where it could have come from and it could have been transferred anywhere including when she was with you or the childminder.

So, it's not ok for your dd to pick up conjunctivitis from childminder, but it's absolutely fine for her to spread it around at same childminder?
Yabu.

You are also wrong about insisting that you know how the conjunctivitis was transmitted. You do not.

Sorry ScipioAfricanus, you did respond, that was a crosspost.

No I can't be sure. But I can say it is overwhelmingly more likely, given the circumstances.

Sounds to me like you don't want her to catch things at the childminders but are willing for other children to catch them from her...

There's a running theme here of you ignoring communication that you don't want to hear, both on MN and with your CM. You're not listening to what others have to say.

As I have mentioned before, I think you need to take care with how you address and speak to the childminder. How would your family cope if she decided that she no longer wants to care for your child after Christmas?

What exactly would you put in writing though? 'Cm I am very unhappy at your obstinance in enforcing rules I agreed to in order to protect the children in your care'? Your child has a very infectious disease . Your cm shouldn't be expected to 1. Look after a poorly child and 2 . Expose herself and her other mindees to it.