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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Found a condom in boyfriends jeans pocket

661 replies

bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 08:54

I've just been through the laundry basket to put a load of washing on and found an unopened condom in the pocket of my boyfriends jeans.

We don't use condoms.

Aibu to think there could be a perfectly innocent reason for it being there??

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 22/11/2017 08:55

How long have you been together?

AnathemaPulsifer · 22/11/2017 08:55

It doesn't look good, does it?

Frederickvonhefferneffer · 22/11/2017 08:56

I suppose he could have been keeping it there to use as a water carrier in an emergency, however I think the obvious answer is usually the right one. So sorry op.

user1474128210 · 22/11/2017 08:57

Confused ... agree with pulsifer

jaseyraex · 22/11/2017 08:58

The only reason it would be there surely would be to use with you. But if you don't use them...

I'd keep hold of it and confront him with it and see what he says its for. But I think I'd already know why it's there. Sorry OP Flowers

BitOutOfPractice · 22/11/2017 08:59

What might the innocent explanation be?

I am waiting for the "posh wank" brigade to arrive. That's what he'll tell you OP.

Also waiting for someone to ask why you're doing your BF's washing

LaBelleSausage · 22/11/2017 09:04

Has he recently been on a night out?

I've been handed one as part of a promo before now while walking through town, and it's possible he might have then just shoved it in a jeans pocket if that happened.

Is it the sort of brand he might buy, or a novelty looking one? Think the last one I was given looked like a poker chip.

I would assume he'd have it in a wallet or something if it was genuinely for an affair. Leaving it in jeans seems a bit off to me.

MollyHuaCha · 22/11/2017 09:05

Ask him. To his face, not by text. See what he comes up with.

Original poster
bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 09:05

We've only been together about 6 months but we live together and I thought we were happy.

It doesn't look good, does it?

I know this sounds stupid but i'm really trying to think of another reason other than the obvious...other than when we're both at work we do everything together. We very rarely go out on our own as we socialise with the same people. He works as a labourer so doesn't wear jeans to work....

OP posts:
FlouncyDoves · 22/11/2017 09:09

If you’ve only been together 6 months you are being ridiculously cavalier to not be using condoms with him.

There are a number of reasons why it could be there. But if you even doubt him for a minute for god’s sake wear a condom if you have sex with him again.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 22/11/2017 09:09

Where had he been prior to wearing the jeans?

LaBelleSausage · 22/11/2017 09:10

It's also worth checking the expiry date on it. Maybe if you've only been together 6 months he found it somewhere in the house, didn't want you to see it and freak out and shoved it in a pocket.

My DH has some in a wash-bag that I unearthed a while ago, but I think they had expired in about 2013 which meant he'd bought them in around 2008!

Original poster
bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 09:11

It's not a novelty one. The top left corner is torn off but it's not opened.

I'm being stupid, aren't i...there's no innocent explaination is there? Whether he used it or not, he obviously thought he might need it....

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 22/11/2017 09:12

You’ve only been together 6 months, live together, not using condoms and you’re doing his washing?? Are you crazy?

Are his jeans washed regularly? Some jeans are only meant to be washed like once a year.

RandomDreams · 22/11/2017 09:15

There's not an innocent explanation.

I do think the fact that you've only been together six months but you live together and have unprotected sex is a bit stupid though.

Original poster
bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 09:18

He wears black jeans more often than not and has 3 pairs the same so I don't know when exactly he wore them last.

The expiration date has almost come off, but i can see '202' so i don't think it's an old one.

He moved in with me so if they were his from before, they would have been in his things which I would never have gone through...if he already had it, he took it from where it was and put it in his pocket.

OP posts:
nannybeach · 22/11/2017 09:19

No, it doesnt look good, buy agree with other poster, going out with someone only 6 months and already living together, too soon!!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 22/11/2017 09:19

You dont use condoms? Have you never heard of STD's?

Theimpossiblegirl · 22/11/2017 09:19

Aside from the obvious (6 months is not very long to know someone, let alone have unprotected sex with them), could it be an old one from before you got together? If you don't think so, cut your losses now.

Original poster
bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 09:21

Maybe living together so soon is a bit stupid but I've known him for longer and it felt right.

The not using condoms is stupid though, you're right.

I don't always do his washing, I'm off work today so was just putting a load on. He also does my washing when he puts one on.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 22/11/2017 09:21

Is there a reason things have moved so quickly between the two of you?
Assuming the worst, given you don't use condoms I'd suggest you head to your local clinic for a full MOT.

TammySwansonTwo · 22/11/2017 09:21

I really can't think of a feasible explanation for this. Aside from which, if the top corner is ripped it's because it's been torn off a strip - where's the rest?

You haven't been together long, so it's possible it predates you (did you use condoms initially? any reason you're not using them now?) and by some convoluted method it wound up in his pocket (any chance he hasn't worn these jeans since before you and forgot it was there? Most men I know have a couple of pairs they wear non stop so I doubt this but it's possible?)

Ask him in person, don't give him a chance to come up with a story. Watch his reaction closely and trust your instincts.

TammySwansonTwo · 22/11/2017 09:23

Did you both have an sti check before you stopped using them, if you ever did?
If so, I'm afraid you might need another one now (scratch that, go and have one anyway).

Original poster
bigapplerecords · 22/11/2017 09:23

I can't think of any other reason it is in there either...

I feel so stupid now.

OP posts:
rcat · 22/11/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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