Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

absolutely fuming

221 replies

samidolls · 21/11/2017 14:46

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

OP posts:
Steeley113 · 21/11/2017 14:53

If you can’t find a private class I’m sure you’ll be fine without. Nothing you can’t get from google these days.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 21/11/2017 14:54

Get online and find something credible. I chose not to have classes and was fine. You will be too...but I bet there's something you can do via video link these days.

NNchangedforthis · 21/11/2017 14:54

Ok, I don’t particularly think my ante-natal classes were helpful in terms of prepping for the baby, but the were most definitely helpful to find friends!
Have a look for any local Bumps and babies group, join your local FB mums pages. There are always loads of posts on mine looking for friends, posting questions etc.

Write a through list of questions and get your midwife to go through them all with you. I did all my classes but still felt absolutely lost when my contractions started!
Check local churches for groups and local Sure start centres. Local community centres often have loads of different things on too.

Good luck :)

BoomBoomsCousin · 21/11/2017 15:00

Ante natal classes are reassuring and a bit helpful, but really not a must-do. You can get all the information you need elsewhere (and with less hassle in many ways). The big benefit seems to be the social group many mothers build up. Do you need this? If so, can you ask about other ways to meet other pregnant women near you?

Floellabumbags · 21/11/2017 15:03

My midwife fucked up with ante natal classes too and I started them at 36 weeks. Other than meeting a couple of people who I became friends with, they were bugger all use.

ditzychick34 · 21/11/2017 15:03

I second NNchanged, get a list together and ask for a long midwife appointment. Get them to talk you through every thing that you need, they should also have a list of what is taught

GreenPurpleRed · 21/11/2017 15:05

Not really the point Steely, everything's on Google doesn't mean OP should just accept the cock up.

I'd just call them back and basically say they need to make room for you as no one told you in enough time for you to find a suitable replacement class.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 21/11/2017 15:05

Don't worry if you don't find one, I was due to go on mine at 33 weeks and dd1 was born a week before that! (Mind you I was dreading them so wasn't sorry not to have to go so kind of the opposite to your situation)
Anyone in my friendship group who did go hasn't really got a huge amount out of them so don't stress too much if you can't get anything locally.

Hmmalittlefishy · 21/11/2017 15:06

My antenatal classes didn't tell me anything. About 4 weeks of traipsing out in the snow to be told the same thing about pain relief each week and not to contact the hospital unless you were at a certain stage of labour . No helpful information about breathing etc
I found pregnancy yoga and a private class (daisy birthing) much more useful and practical and yoga you can do anytime
If there are any specific questions no matter how silly you can ask your midwife (or us!)

BakedBeeeen · 21/11/2017 15:07

Do you want to do it for info, or for meeting friends? I guess probably both. I would aim to go to the January classes - even if you only go to one class, you can ask that your contact details are given to the other people so that you can meet up with them after. I'm my experience no one is best buddies immediately, it takes time to get to know people you have just met. The bonding is done through having babies the same age. I also made good friends from doing pregnancy yoga, and also other classes once my baby was born.
As a PP has commented, make sure the midwife talks you through questions regarding labour and pain relief options etc etc. Or see if there is maybe a one-day course you can do somewhere perhaps.
All is not lost, don't worry!

Ttbb · 21/11/2017 15:08

Do you need one? I never went. Raising babies isn't exactly rocket science.

ThatsNotMyUnicorn · 21/11/2017 15:11

The antenatal classes I attended were a waste of time, all they did was go over what's in leaflets that I had previously given. You'll be fine if you don't manage to attend any, the NHS in area also scrapped antenatal classes for a while and just gave you a link to videos they'd put on youtube-so if you feel like you want more guidance you could always view these videos as they're still on youtube.

toolonglurking · 21/11/2017 15:13

They run four one hour classes a year where I live, so if you are pregnant at the wrong time of year you don't get a class and that's it - we all get by fine. From what I gather it's really only so you can meet other mums and midwives can try to reassure you that child birth isn't really all that bad.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/11/2017 15:17

That's not great, but I really really wouldn't worry about it.
I paid for the nct course first time round, £180 I think, and the best/only thing I got from it was friends who were giving birth at same time, which you can get by joining your local fb page and telling your due date.

Caenea · 21/11/2017 15:20

I never bothered with antenatal classes.

I flatly refused to go to a single one - I didn't want to hear scare stories, pro-breast/formula-feeding propaganda nor listen to twittering fools blether on about the pros and cons of a pain-free birth. Nor did I feel the need to learn how to breathe.

They're all a con anyway, especially when you have to start paying for them.

Danceswithwarthogs · 21/11/2017 15:24

I had one nhs class with first child... nothing you couldn't read about on babycentre etc (or in a book) mainly benefits of breastfeeding and use a bouncy birthing ball... made baby friends at baby groups. Try not to panic about this, stress isn't good for you.

Aparently hypnobirthing is amazing for a calm, confident approach to labour.

PinkyBlunder · 21/11/2017 15:27

I get why you’re frustrated, all the chasing etc but....

They’re antinatal classes. Take a breather and get a bit of perspective, it’s not like they’ve fucked up your blood tests or scans or any other multitude of very serious things.

Just like the PPs said, the classes tend to be useless. I know mine were a huge waste of my time and with the best will in the world, it would be impossible to create a class designed to tell you how to get the baby out and what to do with it.

I got a letter to sign up this time round and it went straight in the bin. I’d rather spend the time eating cake.

acquiescence · 21/11/2017 15:27

Have a look for hypnoborthing or daisy birthing classes in your area?

lemony7 · 21/11/2017 15:27

We went to our antenatal classes and they were so bloody useless that we left half way through. You’ve got the internet and have probably watched OBEM. You’ll have to manage without them!

Nicketynac · 21/11/2017 15:30

My first one was a whole hour dedicated to our maternity notes - why midwives take urine samples, check BP etc. Total waste of time as we were all very pregnant by this point and had been peeing in plastic tubs for months. Second was about pain relief but not really helpful - I didn't learn anything I hadn't heard from friends although we did get shown an epidural catheter.
Third one was a tour of the midwife led birthing floor which was interesting - main thing I learned was which pain relief was available there compared to consultant led floors. Fourth one was on parenting and we went on the wrong day Blush
I went to pregnancy yoga which taught me techniques for breathing and focussing - all went out of the window once I was in labour and scared! Used them second time around as I was less scared.
Good luck!

notangelinajolie · 21/11/2017 15:31

I didn't go to any antenatal classes and don't know anyone that did. It's annoying that you have been messed about and I'm sorry you are upset but honestly you will be fine without going to any classes. If you really feel that going to class will help you then go for it. IMHO the best advice I can give is listen to your midwife when you are in labour.

AlpacaLypse · 21/11/2017 15:32

The only good and useful thing about antenatal was meeting the other 11 new mothers. I'm still great friends with three of them 19 years later. But there are other ways of meeting and building friendships and support networks.

chocolateorangeowls · 21/11/2017 15:33

My classes were terrible. I went to two and then didn’t bother with the rest. I wouldn’t worry too much xx

ToftheB · 21/11/2017 15:34

I've just been to a couple of free ones at the hospital I'm due to give birth at in Jan. They were nice enough, but absolutely not the end of the world that you missed them.
It basically took 6 hours to go through what I could have achieved with a leaflet and a 30 min chat with my husband. The only point was to get you thinking about the birth and the first few weeks with the baby. There wasn't any secret info that I hadn't been able to find out online. We did get to see the birthing suite, which was interesting - but apparently you can book in to do that at the weekends anyway so it might be worth you calling your hospital and asking, if that's something you're interested in.