absolutely fuming

[samidolls]

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

Its just a social thing really

Sorry haven’t quite rtft so not sure if anyone’s suggested this but there are several bump/baby groups in and around Leeds that run antenatal sessions. Search Bumps and Babes on Facebook. They offer antenatal exercise classes and drop in antenatal education sessions. Otherwise join pregnancy yoga (I went to yoga space meanwood) or aquanatal etc. All good ways to meet people and lots of those groups are run by midwives or doulas etc. Hope that helps.

Although there are lots of people saying that their experience of antenatal classes was negative, there are also lots of people who value them, having had a good experience. You may be able to get on an NCT intensive weekend course, especially if you're prepared to travel. Or you may be able to book a one-to-one session with an NCT practitioner or an independent midwife. Upthread someone asks if the NHS Birth to Five Book is still given out - it's not, but you can read it online here
www.publichealth.hscni.net/publications/birth-five
It's very good. It's also worth asking if you can go on a waiting list for anything local, whether NHS, NCT or other private classes, as people often have their babies early and don't make the classes.
Good luck, hope you find something suitable.

OP, don't worry.

I was due to start Antenatal classes two months before my due date.

I was to start on the 3rd and I went into labour on the 31st.

No Antenatal, baby still alive.

You'll be fine!

A very good friend of mine brought her baby to her third NCT class . Honestly, you'll be fine without. Finding a network is the important bit anyway. Follow the suggestions of finding Bumps and Babies groups - hopefully there'll be one near you.

Join an NCT class. I believe they're quite expensive these days but I think they're much better than the free ones.

OP they're useless and a total utter waste of time. 9.9/10 none of it matters when you're in labour.

Do one on Youtube if you think it will help. But honestly, they do not. Just make sure your partner will advocate for you (aggressively if they have to) and stock up on lucozade sport, biscuits and sandwiches.

Sorry didn't realise the NCT classes weren't available. But I agree you won't miss anything vital.

Relax, they're not essential. If you haven't already, buy a good book that you can refer to. I had Miriam Stoppard's one, plus a couple of others.

We spent about half a hour discussing names at ours The hospital visit was helpful though - nice to familiarise yourself with the delivery suite before you give birth. So do that if you can.

There is nothing you will learn at one of these classes that you haven’t read on here already.

I can replicate my nhs antenatal class experience for you... 3 hours on how breastfeeding will ensure your child is a wonderful, valiable person to society ad if you formula feed you may as start applyig for the jeremy kyle show now because they will fail at life in every way.

1 hour on how you really shouldn't have too much pain relief/ call the hospital/ go into hospital too early or generally expect to actually help as a couple of paracetamol will see you right.

1 hour on why sleeping wirh baby on sofa after 20 cigs and 2 bottles of red is a bad idea.

I exaggerate, but only slightly.

You will be grand i am sure.

i only went to one, they were cringey and I found out all I needed to know from the other women in the office.

Exactly the same thing happened to me over 20 years ago, Sami.

I made lots of calls -felt just as you do - and managed to get into a class - which had started 2 weeks earlier - in the next village.

Within 10 minutes of my arrival the midwife taking the class asked if anyone knew they were definitely having a c-section? I knew I was as consultant had told me a couple of weeks before due to various medical reasons. I was the only one! Midwife turned to me and said, “Well none of this will apply to you.” . Suffice to say I didn’t go back. You will be fine without them, seriously.

However, I did attend a one off breast feeding class which I found really useful and could certainly recommend if they still have them and if you are planning to BF.

Some of these responses have made me smile - slightly. All my antenatal classes did was terrify me. Grace has it spot on for my experience - a morning of advertising breastfeeding (which I didn't) and a further one on how pain relief is really not necessary.

I wish I hadn't gone. It truly scared me and my experience of having a baby was absolutely nothing like the "ideal" I was given at the classes. And my DH thought they were an absolute joke (and not in a good way).

Please don't stress about these classes. I think the main benefit is to meet parents to be.

I was super focused on doing NCT with my first, he arrived after the first session, I'd learnt nothing about birth or breast feeding and the other parents were not really our sort of people. It was a bit of a waste of time really.

a morning of advertising breastfeeding (which I didn't) and a further one on how pain relief is really not necessary.

Yes! This, that's exactly what was covered in the first and only session. I was the only one that said my plan was to go with the flow, take drugs if needed and follow the advise of the medical experts in front of me at the time (which is what I did and it worked!).

I didn't fine ante-natal classes much use at all. Met some nice people, but didn't keep in touch, and that was it really. The rest I learned from friends and/or the internets.

I didn't go to ante-natal classes, I didn't realise they were something offered by the NHS/that the midwife arranged (until reading this thread - I have a 13 year old & an 8 year old so a bit late now!).

Also I've heard of NCT but I don't know anyone who went to either sort (& I've got a lot of friends who are parents!). Is this NHS offering them a new thing? Anyway, aside from that - I read a lot of pregnancy & parenting books & was fine! When I had my first I didn't know any other Mums (30 years old & worked in the City so hadn't even seen a child for about 10 years !) If it's meeting other mums then there will be loads of opportunity to do that once the baby is here. Saying all if this though I have no idea what happens in ante-natal classes (apart from what you see on films where the Dad sits behind the Mum & everyone looks a bit awkward!), do don't know what I missed, but it made no odds to me.

I went to some at the hospital. All I can remember from them was being told to eat plenty things with iron in (I ended up anaemic anyway) and a quick trip round the ward where I felt sorry for the mothers with all these people trooping round.

I also had some with our rather old school community midwife. They were fun socially, as there were only 5 of us, and she had some interesting stories about wrecking someone's new crib by delivering the placenta in the new 'active' way and splattering it in blood. The hospital midwives had different ways of delivering (and varied in my experience). I didn't have her after the birth due to a bureaucratic mishap but I was informed by others that she sold those fake perfumes that did the rounds in the 1980s

I went to a local bumps and babes run by the NCT. This was free and we had a talk from a breast feeding counsellor which was very useful and much more useful than anything I learned from the community midwife.

I had a Sheila Kitzinger book - it got me over my miscarriage with its black and white photo of a new born scrunchie baby wrapped in a blanket. She is very reassuring and straightforward and as I ended up with very fast deliveries, I was glad of everything I read in there about recognising the various stages and coping with it - I think I might have panicked somewhat if I had had to rely on the staff for this.

Miram Stoppard as mentioned above was also good. These may seem a bit old fashioned but the way babies come out has not changed and they are empowering. The NHS book mentioned above will give you up to date info on interventions/pain relief etc that you need to know.

You need up to date information about what vitamins etc you need. This keeps changing. When my mother was pregnant, you automatically got given vitamins, then when I was, you were supposed to manage with diet (and I ended up anaemic). Now it is recognised you need vitamin D as well as the iron and folic acid.

You also need to find good non-hysterical evidence based information about what is not advisable to eat - this seems to be much harder now

Relax. It really isn't worth getting too upset over.

The only ones I went to were NHS ones back in spring of 1995 when heavily pregnant with DD1. I did make a good friend there, but in all honesty I took little away from it otherwise. They certainly weren't essential, and nothing I hadn't already gleaned from the books I had read (no internet back then).

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

I had a similar thing happen to me, I booked early on only to find I hadn't got a place, I think it was October time I found out I had no place and I was also due mid Jan. The next class was actually after my due date, I explained to the woman on the phone that it wasn't really much use attending after I'd given birth but she wasn't at all sympathetic or helpful.

I took matters into my own hands, my friend had booked and got a place (it was just a morning course plus a hospital tour straight after) so I knew all the details. I just rocked up with my husband and hoped they didn't take a register. As it happened 2 couples didn't show up anyway and there was no name checking, it was a free NHS course though.

I'm so glad we went, it was mainly the tour of the hospital we wanted to attend so we knew where we were going and just seeing the rooms helped me. When I went into labour it made things so much easier knowing exactly where we were going at 3am.

All I remember from mine was that if I succumbed to the temptation of pain relief then it would result in a drugged up baby who would fail to breastfeed.
Which led to me having 70 hours of contractions and excruciating back-to-back labour completely without pain relief, and then briefly arguing with the anaesthetist in theatre about whether any was necessary for my episiotomy and emergency forceps delivery. Ridiculous in hindsight.

Honestly? They’re not that helpful. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Have another chat with your MW, see if they can suggest anything. Or post on a local FB Page - someone might suggest a privately run class.

But I also suggest you ask your MW to make sure you’re on the list to be offered post natal classes. I was missed off, and lost out on a huge socialising opportunity when I was in the depths of isolation and loneliness. 9 years later, I still feel as though by missing out on those groups, my PND was worse than it could have been. I never built a post natal group of Mum friends, and my mat leave was very lonely.

My midwife promised me a special antenatal class with DH when she found out I was having twins. (This was not the community midwife I mentioned earlier - she had retired).

At about 35 weeks I was getting worried as I had heard nothing and had found out that I was supposed to go to a delivery room next to the operating theatres and that I would have an epidural. I was really worried about it as I had no idea what they intended to do to me and I knew fine well that they could not deliver an epidural within 3 hours. I rang her and she said I could tag onto the class she was running in a month's time and that the epidural was non-negotiable.

So a fat lot of use that was.

Twins arrived safely without fortunately.