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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

absolutely fuming

221 replies

samidolls · 21/11/2017 14:46

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

OP posts:

Member984815 · 21/11/2017 17:48

I didn't do classes for any of my pregnancies , don't panic about it you can read up about any information you need online

pictish · 21/11/2017 17:49

I can't remember anything about my antenatal classes...they were that useful.
Don't stress it OP. x

Cracklesfire · 21/11/2017 18:51

The NHS class we went to was a bit useless. I was meant to go to one a fortnight later run by the physio but from 32 weeks I had so much pain under my ribs that the thought of sitting again for two hours was too much. We were did hypnobirthing classes instead. The breastfeeding workshop was the only one I would've quite liked to have gone to but we were left waiting in December in the pouring rain & dark for a midwife who didn't turn up & no phonecall or explanation given.

tealandteal · 21/11/2017 19:33

If it makes you feel better I found our antenatal classes no help at all. I did a days workshop with DH, active birth/pregnancy yoga which was much more helpful. I have heard positive things about the Daisy Foundation classes you could look to see if there is one near you.

Novemberblues · 21/11/2017 19:45

Isn't that rotten op. Ate you telling people that a mistake was made hence you have been left without classes? Asking your mw to assist?

Loubymoo27 · 21/11/2017 19:57

I moved at around 31 weeks pregnant and couldn't get onto any Ante natal classes. I coped fine without them. Never heard anyone say they actually learned anything helpful TBH! You'll be fine!! X

WonderTweek · 21/11/2017 20:04

I went to one nhs antenatal session and it was pretty bad. They just listed different forms of pain relief and their pros and cons and then the midwife got all the men in the group to go to one side of the room and all the women to the other. She then joined us women and whispered about this perineal massage we might want to start doing, and told us not to worry about pooing in labour. It was rather cringe, and all the info can be found on the NHS website anyway. (I must add that the midwife was bloody lovely though.) I reckon reading up on breastfeeding would be useful as I found it surprisingly difficult.

I didn't go to the other sessions. I think they are mostly about making friends and I was lucky I put my contact details down during the session that I went to as I was added to a mums' WhatsApp group and made some friends through it. But as someone already said that you can make friends by going to a local Bumps and Babies group or just start going to things when baby has arrived. I'm super awkward socially and find making friends really hard but it's been so easy with a baby. I just walk into a baby group and go "so, how's everyone's babies sleeping?" and before I know it I'm having coffees with groups of mums.

Good luck OP!

iamyourequal · 21/11/2017 20:13

Mine were rubbish. I wouldn't bother about missing them at all. I learned tonnes more about pregnancy and childbirth from books from the local library. The things they cover are: how to tell if you are in labour (you will know!) , what options you have for pain relief, and possibly writing a 'birth plan' This pretty much gets superceded by events when labour kicks in anyway - as does all the tosh about how to breathe properly. Congratulations on your pregnancy though! I know you are understandably upset about missing the classes but it's pretty likely you would be disappointed with them anyway. Truly not worth fuming over.

SequinsOnEverything · 21/11/2017 20:22

To be honest I thought mine was a massive waste of time.

1morechance · 21/11/2017 20:30

They don’t do free Antenatal classes in our area and I do shift-work so NCT was no good. I went to Daisy Birthing on the recommendation of my midwife and it was good. We did a 1 day thing which was enough but they also do a class which does some yoga, breathing and talking through expectation which my SIL found really useful when she had her DS.

Snausage · 21/11/2017 20:30

OP, please don't worry!
I had two antenatal class (NHS, midwife led) before my DS arrived, and that was despite registering months and months beforehand.

I thought the class was shit. Everything the midwife said was like a diluted version of things I'd read in forums like Mumsnet, and the second class went in to the wonders of breastfeeding whilst skimming over the fact that formula was available.

You don't need the classes, and you'll, no doubt, make some wonderful friends through the baby groups that will be available to you.

CMOTDibbler · 21/11/2017 20:31

I only signed up for the NHS ones to get the hospital tour. I was in hospital having had ds when they all came round! It was fine. But I can see you'd be annoyed not having been told

piefacedClique · 21/11/2017 20:35

Read the Marie mongan hupnobirthibg and watch some clips on YouTube. You’ll be fine. I did a private hypnobitthjbg thing but the book is all you’ll need. Good luck x

LML83 · 21/11/2017 20:43

It's awful you have been messed about and last thing you need when you are pregnant.

My dh wasn't allowed at antenatal classes (they had to move to a smaller room so no space for partners ) It really upset me (I was being irrational but didn't feel that way at the time).

I bought a DVD of classes we watched it together. Was just as helpful. Good to know but doesn't prepare you that much.

I made friends at baby classes so didn't need them for that either.

Ironmanrocks · 21/11/2017 20:47

I did NCT and they weren't great. If I'm honest the only thing I learned was not to push till it feels like you need a poo!

ChameleonCircuit · 21/11/2017 20:48

I'd be more pushing to get an invite to any POST-natal groups they might run. I'm still friends with my postnatal group now, and DD is in yr10!

Like PPs have said, there's nothing in antenatal classes really that you can't find on Google.

Katedotness1963 · 21/11/2017 20:51

The woman who did the class I went to had eye wateringly bad BO, thought bottle feeding was practically abuse and told us that once the baby was born we shouldn't leave the house for at least six weeks...

MrsRhubarb · 21/11/2017 20:53

I didn't go to any antenatal classes, but I did find being in a MN due date group (and splinter FB group!) hugely helpful when I had my second DC. Perhaps you should pop over to those boards and find the rest of the Jan 2018 bus.

runwalkrun · 21/11/2017 20:54

Samidolls, you and your baby will be fine

If it's any consolation I didn't learn a thing at antenatal classes.

I agree with another poster that it's good to meet with other new mothers, but they don't really teach you that much.

If mine had been born now, I would rather rely on Youtube and Dr Google for info than an antenatal class.

runwalkrun · 21/11/2017 20:55

bought a DVD of classes we watched it together

That's another good idea ,as well as Youtube.
And don't forget you have MN as well!!

cantkeepawayforever · 21/11/2017 20:56

I would suggest that if the hospital had a tour / class it could be handy, otherwise don't worry. For DC2, we moved terrifyingly close to my due date (2 weeks before, IIRC) and we fitted in a quick hospital tour and a consultant appointment (VBAC after complicated EmCS - I just remember him saying I was a brave lady, which made me suspect that my notes were somewhat scary reading) before rocking up at the door at 2 am on my due date.

Only really useful information from the tour - how to gain access in the dead of night! Given DD arrived within 45 minutes of me getting to hospital, I suspect that that critical piece of information stopped her arriving in the car park, with us locked out!

ticketytock1 · 21/11/2017 20:57

Honestly the classes are shit... we fell asleep in one of them!
You could probably get what you need from google / web md / nhs direct.
Birth plans never go to plan anyway.. jus take it in your stride x

crazycatlady5 · 21/11/2017 20:58

Quite a lot of people at my antenatal class were a week or two from their due dates..

toomuchtooold · 21/11/2017 20:59

Terrylene I had twin antenatal classes and the only notable bit was when she asked for questions and then stood there at the whiteboard going NO... NO...NO... "water births. NO. Minimal monitoring to allow more movement. NO. Midwife led unit? Oh yes. NO." That and when they brought in some alumni and they had a Mountain Buggy and we were all like "wow, look at the turning circle on that! How much? 800 quid? Jesus fucking christ my first car cost less than that". The best bit was the curry afterwards (not part of the class sadly, but it was in an area of London that is rightly famous for good curry )

Terrylene · 21/11/2017 21:06

Someone I know who had twins before me. They did the hospital tour, and the midwife showing them round would say after everything '...... oh and that will not apply to you, because you are having twins'. Eventually the DH said 'so, what will apply then?' Then they got an individual tour of the aforementioned delivery room and SCBU. No one had thought to mention it before.

I only knew through her. I didn't get the tour . However, I only made it to the ordinary delivery room for DTD2, but did spend too much time in SCBU after.

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