absolutely fuming

[samidolls]

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

I found the free antenatal classes to be awful. I learnt nothing at all. The Nct ones, on the other hand, were fantastic- informative, fun and we met a fab group of couples who we still meet up with regularly now (baby girl is 15 weeks old tomo). I really wouldn’t worry about missing the free ones but I’d make every effort to find a Nct class somewhere nearby.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Xx

@kyph09 yep, I did the NHS breast feeding class and it was propaganda rather than useful info. We had to play games around guessing all the good things about breast milk whilst formula was dissed. We were told the only thing to do was exclusively BF for six months and offering formula would destroy our milk supply. What they didn’t do was provide any practical information about actually breastfeeding and what to do when you encounter problems. So I ended up with PND after my EBF baby developed hypernatraemic dehydration because my milk didn’t come in for eight weeks.

OP if you want to breastfeed the best book I found was by Clare Byam Cook What to expect when you’re breastfeeding - and what if you can’t? which really helped me deal with the problems we encountered - still BFing DD now and she’s almost two. I really really wish I’d found this book when pregnant as we’d have avoided no end of problems.

If it makes you feel better, I booked in for an NCT class and only made it to one of the meetings before DD turned up! The two only useful things we leart from that one and only class was 1) DH better be supportive and know what you want and don't want (e.g. he didn't talk, which was fabulous!), and 2) focus on breathing. Both things were very obvious anyway, and the rest of the group told me I didn't miss anything important not having attended the last two meetings. The best thing about an antenatal class as I see it is that it may make you friends for life who offer you support when you're up all night with a screaming but adorable bundle.

Best of luck with it all! x

Have you tried Hypno birthing classes? Would highly recommend!! If not then the Kathryn Clark hypnobirthing books are amazing and you can get the audible version on Audible. Better than any classes !! X

To be honest I found them a waste of time anyway, I wouldn't worry too much

Our midwives were trialing hypnobirthing classes rather than typical antenatal classes when I had my first. They were brilliant. I had an amazing labour. When I had my second i had a private session just to refresh and it was really useful. If you can find a course locally I'd highly reccomend it. You can also buy the book with CD online

OP, if it's the fault of the clinic where you've been having your antenatal care, it's worth asking if they'll book you a double midwife appointment so someone can sit down with you and explain the main points. We do that sometimes (if we can) when a woman really can't get onto a course or if she has very limited English and would struggle in a group environment. (Alternatively, asking them to give up two appointments for that purpose might just mean they miraculously find you a place on an earlier course ;) )

I can only remember 2 things. One is spending half hour writing on a flip chart our 'hopes and fears'. The 2nd was putting nine pictures in order of a baby a little upset to hysterical crying. The sessions were nice enough but whenever I was anxious about something Google or Mumsnet gave me the answer!

Thanks to everybody for your replies. It seems to be the general consensus that the classes aren’t great.

I’m feeling lots calmer today, I do go to aquanatal classes and have spoken to the midwives who run these and they have offered me a couple of options for classes (I think we still want to do something with it being our first)!

I’m going to look into all the books peoples have recommended too so thanks for all these! You guys really are a lovely bunch!

Check out amotherplace.com, free antenatal classes online.

I went to one class and it was bobbins so I never went back. I’m not really into the whole “ mummy group” stuff either so it was no use, don’t worry.

Can I be honest, my nhs antenatal class had me crying and I wish I never went. If there is a LushTums up near you I'd try that. I got all the info that I needed in a reassuring way though you get it all from the baby books.

I learned more baby stuff from groups like this than my antenatal classes. The info they gave was pretty basic and not particularly helpful when it came to real life. I did meet some nice mums though and we did all meet up quite a few times when the babies had arrived and for me that was the main benefit.
You could perhaps try a pregnancy yoga class or hypnobirthing class if you want to meet other mums. Once baby arrives there are lots of playgroups, music groups, baby massage classes etc where you can be with new mums and babies.
I would have been pretty frustrated in your position though. It has not been organised well.

I’m currently doing nct classes and finding them fairly useful, but more because a) it gives me a dedicated space and time to actually think about birth b) I’m getting an understanding of how the process works and also reflecting on how I work (eg zero interest in water birth, totally pro pain relief, like to understand the ‘how’ of what is happening. I’m also feeling more confident that I can handle it, whatever happens.

I’ve also been fairly pleased with the pragmatism eg not peddling the all birth must be without intervention/ pain relief.

You could do all this by reading books and chatting though. It’s useful but definitely not essential.

Oh and if you’re on leeds, bumps and babes is a good suggestion. There’s also independent classes running in ls7 by a group called leeds independent antenatal group starting 27 nov.

I am fuming too!
How dare a community midwife, with approx 125 women on her caseload at any one time, put all her time into keeping women and babies safe and not take time away from that to book classes for you that everyone else manages to book for themselves. Fuming, I say

My classes were some time ago and neither of the midwives had had children. The one gave birth about 18monyhs later and told me that I was right when I said at post natal class what they'd told us was useless on the day! I didn't make friends at classes but did at groups once baby was here. My Dil has had a baby and has had so much info shoved at her that she stressed now baby is here as she worries about doing everything "right". Son and her have now asked the man's and friends with kids and are beginning to relax a little. Good luck and as hard as it is, relax millions have done it and survived you will as well xx

Nans not man's

Our NHS classes were a joke I did 2 terms of daisy birthing classes which were brilliant would recommend them if you have a local class

When I was pregnant with my twins my midwife told me that the classes would be pointless as I would probably have a c section and I wouldn't bother. It was everything else they teach that I wanted plus they do talk about c sections. She wouldn't even put me down on the list. We did it without any classes of any form as first time parents and I was sick as well. Book yourself a couple of double appointments and write a list of questions you want to ask and also ask if they hate anything you can loan like DVDs to watch at home.

To be fair I don't remember anything useful from mine! And the other mums and I called it the "drop the baby" class as the midwife literally dropped the baby toy thing every time! You will be fine! I found the book 'what to expect when you're expecting' far more useful than these classes

We did the classes run by the NHS / Sure Start Centres. 1.5 hours a week for four weeks, absolutely useless.

Didn’t learn a thing, it was our first baby so felt like we should do them but honestly, I learnt nothing that I didn’t already know, and I knew very little.

You will be fine without them.

You will be fine without but if yours are anything like mine (held in the hospital antenatal waiting room after hours) and you really want to go for your own piece of mind, you could probably just gate crash and blame the 'error'. There will be plenty of seats!

Don't worry about it - it's more just to give you contact with other women in the area who are also expecting and who will probably all be at the local play/baby groups afterwards. There's nothing you can't get online these days - you will find instructional videos from very knowledgeable people every bit as useful. If you're half way intelligent, most of it was covered in sex ed at school and you can certainly see the process of actually giving birth online. Really, don't panic.