absolutely fuming

[samidolls]

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

It's really more a social thing to let you meet other women expecting as well. Check out videos online if you just want a run through but you'll find the hospital midwives will talk you through the whole thing.

They're all mostly rubbish anyway, just get yourself online and also buy a good book. You'll learn far more stuff that will actually be useful to you.

Please don't panic! I can understand why you're furious at the crap lack of communication, but let it go. You've got more important fish to fry. As everyone else has said, if it was information you primarily wanted, you can find whatever you want here, elsewhere online or in books - there's a book for every possible parenting style. I can recommend one recently released by a midwife about how babies are hardwired into certain behaviours because this is the way we've evolved - called something like The highly evolved baby. it's pretty reassuring and just tends to go with the flow. Which would be my own parenting style.

Anyway, the actual birth? You're highly unlikely to need most of the information covered by the average NCT or NHS class. It's a bit like putting all your energies into preparing for an amazing wedding, when what you really need to get your head around is the marriage itself. You can easily find out technicalities, birth choices etc, online. Sit yourself down after a bit of reading and make some notes on the things that are important to YOU about how your birth goes. Make sure your birth partner lets the attending MW know, but bear in mind nothing is set in stone and births can take unexpected turns.

If there are any NCT post-natal groups (as in, post-natal classes rather than baby groups) maybe get on one of those? They're great at getting to know local parents, as the ante-natal classes can be, and the NHS in your area might offer post-natal classes too.

You may also be able to arrange a visit/tour of your local maternity centre/wing, if you're interested in a hospital birth, or even if not - since nobody can really tell how a labour will progress. Most places will have times each week for expectant parents to visit.

Have a look at the Daisy Foundation website - from my experience, a lovely group of people and offering classes all over the country (including Leeds). It's easy for people who have already had a baby to say you don't need the classes, but to many people they are really valuable in a number of ways. Hopefully Daisy can help you.

I'm a bit shocked at all the 'never mind' comments.

Being in control and understanding what is going on with your own body is very important to a good birth. You have your own role in mentally managing the pain, PM me and I'll help with how I did it, taught from a friend. I'd never under estimate how it helped for me.

Antenatal classes... I just about made my midwife appointments and they were few and far...

I much preferred taking the route of letting my body tell me what I needed and I had a very stress free and very natural birth...

No chance was I looking at google either I did not need to see what was happening to me nor any checks thanks but no thanks...

I live far, far from a population centre and only attended one class. I would have enjoyed more, but it was fine.

My local area didn’t have any antenatal classes when I was pregnant with my first. Then when I was pregnant with my second they did and I went to one and didn’t bother with the rest because apparently giggling through most of it gets you some really dirty looks. It was terrible!

I hope that you get sorted but if you don’t then honestly try not to worry too much.

I did baby natal classes with my son and they were far more helpful than the nhs ones. I had similar issues with the twin birth ones I had with my girls. Was a right battle to get onto them

I didn't go to any classes and I was totally fine! Didn't miss them at all.

Haven't read the whole thread, OP, so perhaps someone has suggested this, but are there any yoga for pregnancy classes near you? They could be a way of making friends and also learning about relaxation and breathing techniques during labour.

I know there are conflicting thoughts on the usefulness of antenatal classes. I found the NCT ones very informative and also really good fun (we must just have got lucky with an exceptional teacher), but the hospital ones were less useful.

Same happened to me and I was similarly stressed out. Don’t be. Find a good pregnancy yoga class and if you can afford it, a hypnobirthing session. Both will teach you to be calm and how to let go and breathe through labour. I got on to some antenatal classes in end but they were useless but the yoga and hypnotherapy stayed with me through both labours and helped enormously. I had really good birth experiences which I put down to those classes, as well as luck. Also read some Ina May Gaskin books. Good luck and try and relax, that is the most important thing. The trick is to keep breathing as they say. X

Just to echo what most have said...after attending antenatal classes I found I could have quite easily have managed without them. I went to NCT classes and actually they were useless to me because they didn't cover the things I ended up going through! My classes were in the evening after work and tbh I started to dread going as I was so tired! I am not in contact with any of the parents I met at NTC classes but remain in contact years later with mums I met at play groups etc.

Hello lovely this is so upsetting for you and I get it. I don’t live very far from you ... read on ....
I remember feeling the same as a lot of you at my antenatal
Classes - I didn’t feel prepared for labour and birth but especially the postnatal bit! Not a clue ! Didn’t even know how to put a nappy on !

Here’s the thing, I am now a midwife - and I still hear this a lot! Local provision not meeting requirements of women. So, I have been thinking for a while about starting some of my own classes to provide women with what they actually WANT! Would you think this is a good idea? What would you want to learn about in addition to what I’ve read here, how long a session ? and of course - what’s an acceptable fee? Been thinking also about the men ! Joint couples classes or men on their own ? Anyways I need a push to do it and reading this has given me it !
Ps - to the lovely lady who posted - if you want to fire any questions my way feel free to and I will help as much as possible, but as a professional friend as I wouldn’t be covered per se until I get this show on the road officially. So much red tape Hun xxx ❤️

My class wasn't very useful. They started a week before and they didn't tell me. I wanted to make lifelong friends but they were mostly couples and the single ladies had made friends the week before. Plus I had a bad head cold & didn't feel like talking to anyone that day.

Look up breathing techniques & get your midwife to talk you through things. On the day the midwives will help you. Both times they were brilliant.

Don't worry about it, it's more important that you're relaxed in preparation for the birth. All I learnt from my classes (admittedly some time ago) was how to relax and what happens during labour. You can find out all you need to know about labour from the internet/google/friends/family and if you're still stressed find a yoga class to learn how to relax. My son was due on Boxing Day and I refused to do too much over Christmas - he was eventually born on 7th January so relax ..... while you still have the chance. Good luck!

Genuinely think classes were a waste of time. Better finding a bump to baby group or new mums group and practice some real life cuddles in prep! Congrats and all the best to you and your expanding family x

Hello!

I'm the Independent Midwife that runs the Leeds Independent Antenatal Group classes that a few people have mentioned!

Our next course starts in Drighlington (two mins from j27 of the m62, near Ikea) this Tuesday 7-9pm
It runs for four Tuesday evenings before Christmas, two weeks off and then two weeks in Jan so sounds like it fits your dates perfectly!

If you want to know more there is some info on my website www.sarah-flower.com and on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/LeedsIndependentAntenatalGroup/

Give me a shout if you want to book on and we'll sort you out a discounted rate ;)

Sarah

Thanks

I saw the video and thought actually that explains everything, I wish I had known this when I had my three.

That's all you need really xx

I booked mine quite late as I wasn't going to go but the midwife persuaded me to go and was 37 weeks on the day I attended. The class was on the Saturday, that night my waters broke and my son arrived on the Monday, the day I was booked in for a tour around the wards at the hospital. You'll be fine

My classes were awful and utterly pointless, most of the women were vile and into playground bullying tactics still. A lot of the information about feeding etc was inaccurate and out of date.

The only classes I ever found useful were baby massage and baby resuscitation afterwards. x