absolutely fuming

[samidolls]

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

Ok just my personal opinion/experience but I’ve had four children and did anti natal classes with my first. It didn’t help or prepare me at all! Every birth has been completely different. Had 2 natural deliveries, one c-section and 1 with epidural (definitley the best!) but I will say definitely join a toddler/baby group as good to meet new friends especially ones that are going through or gone through child birth recently. I will also say that childbirth fades into the back of your memory and is nothing compared to the many years you will have with your children. And women do it again and again. Also hormones will make you highly emotional at the moment and everything is a big deal but you won’t think about it after. Like I said just my personal expierience. Good luck with the birth and many years of joy with your baby x

I found them very helpful when I had my first DC. It was 26 years ago. I didn't know anyone with babies and my family were not supportive.
I met others like me and found out stuff I had NO clue about.
That was preinternet but we did still have access to tons of books and magazines. I don't think that can replace human contact.

By the time I had DCs 4 & 5 9 and 7 years ago so much had changed. I wanted some classes because I hadn't given birth for 15 years (DC 3 was adopted).
I didn't enjoy any of the 'workshop' things I attended. They were depressing and overwhelming.
Everything was so negative. Don't do this or that. This is baaaaad and that is terrible.
I had someone tell me I shouldn't sit on a sofa during pregnancy and should only sit on hard dining chairs.
They have just had a story on the news about sleeping on your side and back then I was told 'don't sleep on your back EVER or your baby might die'.

FFS.

I totally disengaged with it all. I went in feeling healthy but pregnant. I came out feeling like a ticking time bomb.

I bought a hypnobirthing CD and signed up for pregnancy Yoga.

Pregnancy yoga can be a bit woo but you can get really good, gentle advice and make friends too.
Would that be an option @samidolls ?

You will be fine without them. Mine was messed up too & I missed out on them. Also my midwife booked my appointment to do my birthing plan at 37 weeks, DD was born at 36+5

I never went to mine past the first one. I found them to be useless and patronising.

I had NHS antenatal classes two years ago and the most useful was the physio one at about 23 weeks who taught us ways of dealing with back pain etc. Went to a totally useless breastfeeding one which was heavy on propaganda and light on useful info. The midwife one on a Saturday with partners at about 34 weeks was fairly useless as it was so disorganised - she didn’t go through stage by stage of labour so it was rather incoherent. So do not worry! I got Lesley Regan’s pregnancy week by week from the library and read all the stuff about birth in it, which was good preparation as it gave me balanced info about pain relief, positions etc.

I avoided NCT as it was a lot of money and I didn’t want a load of natural birth stuff pushed at me. Glad I didn’t bother as I met what would have been my group later on at a baby group and they were v cliquey and unpleasant.

If you’re interested in meeting other people then it’s worth looking for a bumps and babes type group and finish work in enough time to go to one or two. I went to one and chatted to a couple of mums about being induced (which I was).

DD was born at 27 weeks. I had to learn on the job...

The same happened with mine. Got into a one day class, 1 week before my due date. Was a panicked, 1st time, hormonal mess by then! Thought I'd meet a group of mums through classes, as a sort of network but condensing it to 1 day doesn't allow for that. The midwife running it was lovely and I think DP was reassured by her that his part would be important (which it was - in being my advocate.) As the birth went completely 'off-plan' anyway, the only preparation that was needed/came in handy was my own 'hypno birthing' style breathing exercises. My tuppence is to try to trust yourself and go with the flow, knowing medical professionals are on hand!

I completely agree with some of the other comments on here. These classes aren’t much help tbh. Finding a good pregnancy yoga is amazing! If you are anywhere need the Chapel A area look up yoga kula they have amazing classes and you can also network and meet preggers mums there ! Good luck x

i had a baby 7 months ago no ante natal classes whatsoever we are fine!!

My ante natal classes were not all that helpful, even though it was my pfb.

You are not really missing out. I made the most friends post natal with local playgroups, local to the school I was going to put my children into.

I had the hospital ante natal class before my first, due to some mistakes we were also there a week before my due date. Surprised the midwives as they thought I’d gone into labour half way through, didn’t really get to know anyone as they were all 10 weeks behind me, but I found it ok, the labour ward walk through was the best bit, I also got to be the woman being wheeled past in the wheelchair past the class the week after as DD was born 7 days later

To be honest - the clases i did weren't worth going to! I remember with my first the midwife saying 'remember your breathing...' i replied 'what f##ing breathing!?! She didnt do breathing!' the old scatter brain was obsessed with the knitted privates she squeezed a doll out of saying 'it's a but like getting your head through a roll neck jumper'

There are no anti natal classes available in my area at all, most parents seem to manage without just fine.

I had my first baby in Spain & all the classes were in Spanish so I didn't understand a word!!! You will be fine, just relax & enjoy. Good luck.

That happened to me, so I never had any at all

Greenkit that video is wonderful!!

The NCT classes are much better - sorry if I’m repeating! Could you maybe do those instead? Good Luck! Xx

I gained nothing from my NCT classes apart from making friends. It was all geared towards the birth, none of which I used. It would have been helpful to know what to do with my baby once I got home! Like other people have said find local groups to go to after the birth, this will be invaluable. Also ask your midwife any specific questions you have. You'll be fine, don't worry 😊

That video says it all really. Brilliant.

Mine scared me, I know they should give you information about c-sections, pain relief, stitches and other complications, but I was convinced from what they said that it would be the worst thing ever and that it takes ages to recover. My birth and recovery were a dream so I think I was worried unnecessarily. I did meet some people to hang out with in the early days though, still friends with some of them almost 20 years later.

Not really the point Steely, everything's on Google doesn't mean OP should just accept the cock up
Well, if it stressed her out trying to sort it, and the local NHS doesn't give a toss and she still doesn't get into a class, it may be better for her to find a nice alternative.

OP, I'd suggest that you look on Amazon for a book on preparing for childbirth (pick one with good reviews, or people on here may be able to recommend one?).
The Internet's fine, but why not treat yourself to something you can dip into any time, put sticky notes in pages you want to find again easily, and curl up with a nice cup of tea to read a bit each day :-). Classes can be a bit hit or miss anyway -the woman who ran mine refused to answer any questions on caesarians, because she wanted us to 'think positively' that we wouldn't need that sort of intervention...so when I had an emergency c section, after 27 hrs labour, all she had taught me was 'let's hope that won't happen'!

Not quite sure why people keep describing breastfeeding promotion as propaganda!! It’s something that has health as well as practical benefits for baby and especially mother. Nobody is making money from breastfeeding!! It’s exactly the same as encouraging people to eat their five a day and exercise regularly.

OH poor you the last thing you need is this to worry while being pregnant. I unfortunately got preeclampsia and was induced a month early. I gave birth on the day I was to start my course and like you was rather scared because I didn’t know what to expect as if was my first. Failing to get into any classes there are some great dvds available and even just going through one of these might help you (eBay have used ones cheaper)

To be honest you will have all the support you need at the time with the midwife at the birth. You won’t be alone

You don't need classes. Your midwife will be able to give you help and support when the time comes. Don't listen to other people's horror stories. Go in and be prepared to leave your dignity at the door. Pick it up when you take your baby home. Good luck x

I never had any. I'm sure they were available somewhere but I never looked.
You'll be fine.