absolutely fuming

[samidolls]

I've been to my 31 week midwife appointment today and got told to chase up my antenatal classes as I hadn't heard anything yet.

I have asked about these at previous appointments but was told I wouldn't hear anything until around 32 weeks.

I was put in for a local class run by community midwives and sent off the application as soon as I got it after my 16 week appointment. (so almost 4 months ago)

When I finally managed to get a call back frommy healthcare advisor I was told the classes had taken place in October and that I was the 9th to apply and they only have space for 8 but that nobody bothered to get in touch with me. The next classes they have start on the 12th of January so only a week before my due date! I asked what they suggested I do and was told some other local clinics have classes but "you probably won't get a place as they have to give priority to people in their catchment area."

So I called my midwife and was told to book with the hospital, finally get through to them and they tell me I need to book online. First available class is 14/1/18. I'm due 19/1/18!!

I've looked at NCT classes but there aren't any classes close by- the nearest being a 40min drive, I've requested info about these just in case, and booked onto the 14th January class at the hospital.

I don't know what to do, I've followed the advice of the midwives and now I've just been left out on a limb with no help from anybody, I know women had babies without antenatal classes for thousands of years but it's got me panicking slightly, I just feel like crying!

Its a good job my boss has been out of the office today as I've spent a good portion of it on the phone trying to get sorted!

I just can't believe nobody got in touch with me to tell us we hadn't got on the course! They could have told us months ago and I could have sorted something else out, I'm usually super organised and like to have things arranged as soon as possible but this was out of my hands and now I don't know what to do!

Can anybody suggest where else I can look for antenatal classes (based in Leeds btw).

The best bit was the curry afterwards (not part of the class sadly, but it was in an area of London that is rightly famous for good curry grin)

Did the curry get things 'moving'?

A similar thing happened to me OP, in respect of NHS classes. I just went. But I was more like 13 out of 12, and I knew some people wouldn't turn up each week, and I knew I had asked to be booked on before some of those going, as one midwife told me it was their error. Which was presumably why she 'accidentally' told me when and where the classes were!

Not sure what the NHS classes are like in your area but mine were shite. First was a two hour lecture discussion on pain relief and how you should try not to have an epidural, second class was 40 minutes long and briefly covered how to breastfeed - but nothing about what to do if you have troubles. That was it. Everything said in the first class I had already read in a book and the breastfeeding advice wasn't helpful at all.

Really don’t worry about this, I did one, was so boring and of no use, I didn’t do any more. Mine weren’t book, you just fronted up. We chose not to front up after the first time,,,

You'll be fine, I did the next one's and the most useful part was getting to know the other mums. Everything else you can learn online and from books. Maybe try some local meet up groups for pregnant women?

Biggest waste of time ever...only thing i learnt was not to make a birth plan. Very glad i didnt. Look for private classes as nct arent the only ones out there.

No luckily the classes were ages before any of us were due! They like to get you done by 33 weeks in case you go early.
I did think about sending DH out for a curry after labour but I was having... well let's call it digestive issues

Terry we were promised a tour of the facilities but in the end never saw any of it till I was in labour. I hope all went well despite your time in SCBU.

If the local classes have already started in October there may be people that have dropped out of this class - why not contact them again to see if there's a space available now?

I think the most useful class is the one where they show you around the maternity/labour ward so maybe you could get to this one?
Consensus here is that the ante-natal classes are not necessary anyway so dont worry about it.

I didn’t rate my nct classes at all, nothing that I didn’t already know from
Google. Also very biased towards ‘natural birth’ and a suggestion that a positive attitude would mean a straightforward birth. No preparation at all for my emergency c section....
It was potentially useful for my Dh (as in reality setting in over what was about to happen!).
The best thing about it was meeting other new mums, but there are loads of other ways to do that. With dc3 I did aquanatal and pregnancy yoga and made a fantastic group of friends. And you will get more (unbiased!) info about the reality of birth and afterwards from mums that have already done it.
If you are in Leeds there are plenty of aquanatal and pregnancy yoga classes. Check out Harrogate too. I know it’s very annoying but there are some fantastic alternatives (better in my opinion).

@toomuchtooold - It all went fine in the end - I had them in 3 hours, the midwife was twittery and useless. DH was a star. I was scared something would go wrong, but in the end I did it myself. It took 2 weeks to spring them out of SCBU (feeding difficulties due to sucking reflex not developed) and life became hectic.

They are now in their 20s and still at home. I had 3 close together and cannot get the ers to flee the nest I found out that I had been doing an activity with the useless twittery midwife for about the last 15 years but had not recognised her! She is still the same . It is funny to look back as I was so desperate to get everything right and though I was making a pigs ear of it all. Now I realise I got a lot right, and a lot of the things I thought I got right, I got wrong - hey ho; life - but I got through it and they aren't all bad

Oh wow! 20 years out! Mine are only 5. Have you caught up on your sleep yet I wouldn't recognize the midwives or the obstetrician from when mine were born - possibly the anaesthetist, as before I went home I stopped him to shake his hand and thank him for the epidural!

Ah yes the sleep - DS1 woke up more than the twins, and yes my brain was addled. They did all sleep eventually but got up early. But they all used to take themselves off to bed at 8pm for years I love sleeping

I wouldn't have recognised the midwife - I knew her name as I kept the list of names, and thought it was coincidental. Then one day we were talking - she was a retired nurse - and she said she was a midwife around the time DTDs were born and did she deliver them - I said 'No' - probably a bit too quickly .

Mine were a load of shite. I paid for NCT classes with my first eight years ago because that was the done thing. Absolute load of bollocks. Anti c-section, militantly pro-breastfeeding (she called formula ‘unnecessary in the 21st century ) and focused entirely on having a ‘natural’ birth without any pain relief.

As it happens, I have been BFing four children for seven years, and have had four ‘natural births’ but this was in no way thanks to the NCT course leader, about whom I complained afterwards.

What I actually needed was someone to tell me that the first year would be pretty hideous, that babies don’t sleep just because you lie them down and that some children will literally never sleep on anything but you. Oh, and that BFing does hurt sometimes and that does not mean you’re getting it hideously wrong, it just means that your nipples are not used to doing any actual work.

You’ll be fine without the classes. I went to a post-natal mums group run by Surestart and made friends for life.

When I had mine we did 2 sessions at the hospital. I don't remember them being particularly useful and there was no chance to actually get to know each other.

I did have a friend having a baby at the same time though and we hung out loads after they were born which was a total godsend.

Perhaps think about joining another class - aquanatal? Or pregnancy yoga which others have suggested? Good for you physically and also a good way to meet other pregnant mums?

Terry mine did a split shift for the first 8 weeks - DD2 awake midnight till 3, DD1 up 3 till 6. This partly explains why there is no DC3

Seriously, don't worry. We paid out hundreds in NCT classes (including an annual membership fee. Pure jokes!) and all we got was general google levels of info with a big old dose of hippy claptrap, judgement and partial ahunning when it transpired that I couldn't have a natural birth due to complications. Read a book if you need info, it's really not worth any worry or upset. I absolutely regret the time i spent sitting there and am so glad we had the sense to sack off the last few lessons. It taught me literally nothing! You'll be fine.x.

*sacking!

I got free NCT classes provided by NHS in this situation. The problem is Christmas as it causes a gap in care. Tbh though, I did get some form of antenatal class through midwives which consisted of telling me I'd need to be on my back and watching a video of someone having a baby. Contact the NCT, they might not be able to give you a class but they'll have loads of great advice about pain relief and birth plans.

I’ve given birth five times and the best way to handle labour from experience is to remember not to panic and take very long, deep breaths from the gas and air when you feel the contraction begin. I would also recommend a pain relief injection. I have never attended an ante natal class. You’ll be fine.

Oh ffs. What is wrong with my phone. SHUNNING! I meant bloosy SHUNNING!!!!

I'm willing to bet you can get all you need online, so am sure you don't need to worry too much. Then do the FB thing and join local groups. As long as you know at what point you need to take yourself off to hospital you'll be absolutely fine. Try not to worry too much.

Call the local clinics and explain - i bet they can find you a place.

If no place then I do think you need to understand your pain control options . Would your midwife be able to so this ?

My NCT was (sadly) very pointless. It was helpful in getting to know other soon-to-be mums, and we still meet up and WhatsApp, but to be honest you’d probably meet the same ones in the baby groups.

I would watch some YouTube videos on pain relief options during labour (the leader of our class seemed to assume that none of us knew anything about this, despite the fact most of us had already done the research, and knew what we wanted), breastfeeding (and bottle feeding if that is what you are planning to do, or as a back up option in case you need it) and ways to soothe your baby. You will then probably know more than I learnt at my NCT!

Join a local pregnancy yoga group, look up mums due at the same time on Mush, join the local FB mums network in your area. The only thing that is useful at those classes is giving you an idea of your painkiller options and meeting other mums who will be your lifeline in the first 6 months when you don't know what you're doing. You can meet them other ways and can google your pain options! Good luck and congrats by the way!

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