To ask for your comebacks to being asked if I'm a full time mum?

[RemainOptimistic]

Got asked this today in the context of small talk. I couldn't think on the spot so just muttered about going back to work.

What can I say in future? How about "oh why do you ask, are you a part time mum too?" or is that too rude?

Nah I clock off at wine o'clock.

"Nah. At the weekend I drop them off at the local wildlife rescue. Couldn't look after those fuckers all week!"

'I had no idea you could parent on a job share basis - where do I sign up?'

I'm a full time mum and proud of it. Much much harder than my old job in the city! So sorry not getting what you are upset about?

No, I'm a lion tamer on the weekends

Yes, and I have a job as well.

"Yes, just like DH is a full time dad"

And then just wait them out in silence

Sometimes people just make conversation. Sometimes they say something you don't like. It's not worth preparing an armoury to flame them with. Most people don't mean to be offensive. Just let it go.

I can go part-time?!

That’s awful - how do people still think like this?!

I wouldn't get upset at this. It's just another way of asking if you're a sahp.

Er if you are a full time mum then I suppose the answer is yes! I was always very happy to tell people I was a full time mum - (that is a mum who does not do any kind of paid work) - when I was not working. It rocks!

No comebacks required. I am a full-time mum. I also work 40 hours a week elsewhere

Ha! I hated that question. It's like 'can I write you off as a nobody'

Wouldn't it be better to just put them right?

It's not like they're being horrible, they're just showing an interest and wording it in a clumsy way, what obviously offends you.

Just say something like, "Honestly I know what you mean, but that phrase annoys me because I am a full time mum with a job outside of the home".

Jeez it's not insulting in the least! That's just your take on it. I never understand these threads.

*that - not 'what'.

No comebacks required. I am a full-time mum. I also work 40 hours a week elsewhere

Yep! Me too. I’m a full time mum with a 40 hour side job.

I don’t stop being a mother when I am work. It means I do hell of a lot of house work/jobs within the home in a shorter period of time than I would if I didn’t work!

When I didn't work I called myself a full time mum. When I work I call myself a working mum not a full time mum

Well unless children cease to exist for part of the day yes we all are.

"Yep I am a mum all the time.

I also run a charity 37 hours a week"

Awh OP don’t feel put off by the question and don’t let it out you in an awkward place of feeling like you have to fumble around trying to find the right answer to appease them! Raising and taking care of a baby/child is a lot harder than a 9-5... your actions shape an actual human being and it’s a 24 hour job you don’t get to clock in and clock off... you will get out of bed at 2am if there’s a whimper or a ‘mummmmm’ heheh! Next time someone asks proudly say ‘yes I am a stay at home parent and I love it, most rewarding job in the world!’

Let’s be honest when you killed yourself everyday for a company they didn’t snuggle up to you in the evening of hold your face for no reason or show you unshakable love and affection but with this job (our job as mums) we get the best workplace perks ever!

I’d have assumed the person meant were you at stay at home mum. To be honest, I see plenty of stay at home mums arguing they are full time mums on those stay at home versus working out of home threads.

Unless you feel there was maliciousness behind the question and I would simply accept it for what it was, a clumsy but well intended question and say yes....sometimes we need to look at the intent Not just the words.

Why did you murmur about going back to work in response?

I really don’t get why you think any ‘comeback’ is required. What have they said that is rude? You said yourself it was just small talk idle - I doubt they meant anything by it or actually gave a toss either way. I was a SAHM for 5 years. I got asked questions like this occasionally. It didn’t bother me. I now work full time. I get asked questions like this occasionally. Still doesn’t bother me.

Can’t you just be a mum?