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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 01/08/2017 12:22

How old are the kids?

KinkyAfro · 01/08/2017 12:24

Why should the reception staff be responsible for your kids? I wouldn't dream of taking kids to an appointment unless it was for them - YABU, your childcare issues are not their problem

RainbowPastel · 01/08/2017 12:24

You should have rang ahead and asked if it was ok first not just turn up and assume it would be fine. It shouldn't be up to the receptionist to babysit.

happypoobum · 01/08/2017 12:26

YABU. I wouldn't take DC to an appointment like that.

PurpleMinionMummy · 01/08/2017 12:26

I don't think either of you are bu but if that's their policy you should accept it and try elsewhere.

GU24Mum · 01/08/2017 12:26

Unfortunately you are. I remember going to get my nails done as a treat just before I had my first child and fondly imagining appointments during my mat leave til it was politely explained that I wouldn't be able to take the [then] baby with me.

MatildaTheCat · 01/08/2017 12:27

You are leaving them under the supervision of the receptionist without seeking her permission. If she gets distracted or called away then nobody is supervising your kids. YABU.

You need to check in advance if you want somebody to mind your DC and not take offence if they decline. Not all DC are as well behaved as yours.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 01/08/2017 12:27

Why is it not OK to leave them in Costa (a public space) but it is OK to leave them in a reception area (also a public space).

You were U I'm afraid.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 12:27

How old are the kids? 14 - fine. 4 - not fine. Basically if they need a babysitter and you're assuming the receptionist will do that yabu.

BitOutOfPractice · 01/08/2017 12:28

How old are they?

Floralnomad · 01/08/2017 12:28

If they are old enough to sit in reception then they are old enough to sit in costa coffee , either way they are unsupervised.

RhubardGin · 01/08/2017 12:30

YABU I'm afraid.

You should always ring ahead and make sure it's ok. If anything were to happen it's not the receptionists responsibility to look after your children.

I'm surprised they let you do this on other occasions. I'm sure there would have been a few eye rolls behind the scenes!

Dancinginthemidnight · 01/08/2017 12:31

I think it depends on how old they are.

DearMrDilkington · 01/08/2017 12:31

Yabu

Purplepicnic · 01/08/2017 12:32

I think if you are going into a room separate from them with the door shut then YANBU.

How old are they?

KatharinaRosalie · 01/08/2017 12:33

If they are obviously too young to sit in Costa they are too young to sit in a clinic reception room. The receptionists are not babysitters.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 12:34

Of course you're being unreasonable.

YourHandInMyHand · 01/08/2017 12:34

I'm a single mum and have had to seek out paid help in terms of childcare many a time. Sadly its something you will just have to factor in costs wise to appointments and free time.

I had very little in terms of a support network at one time and so I got the nearest Ofsted registered childminder to do a school run once a week for me (even though I didn't need it) so that I had someone locally I could call on to provide paid childcare that
A) was all registered, checked and insured
B) DS was familiar and comfortable with.

I've also been know to pay eye watering babysitting fees to teenage cousins of DS too.

You can't expect the receptionist to be responsible for your dcs, if they have a lengthy phonecall or an emergency they won't be able to do that and watch your children. I imagine they suggested costa to make you aware that the staff in the clinic reception were not there in a childcare capacity.

BossyBitch · 01/08/2017 12:36

Unless we're talking about children old enough to take care of themselves for 20 minutes and wait at Costa instead (i.e. tweens/teens), YABU.

Receptionists are not being paid to act as supply-babysitters. They will, of course, be required to be helpful and forthcoming to clients. That doesn't mean that they're keen on being made to watch other people's kids. Ask me about my student-job working in hospitality being mistaken for a free childminder on a regular basis.

19lottie82 · 01/08/2017 12:36

YABU
Obviously you can't have the kids in the treatment with you due to the lasers, so you're expecting the reception staff to keep an eye on them?
Why will you not leave them in a Costa but your happy to leave them in the clinic waiting room?

LagunaBubbles · 01/08/2017 12:36

How old are they?

BarbarianMum · 01/08/2017 12:38

If they aretoo young to be sat alone in Costa then YABU I'm afraid. If the clinic allow it it could be argued that theyare taking responsibility for your children. They may not want that for practical reasons - if they fight, misbehave, need a loo trip but also for legal ones. If the receptionist is called away and one wanders out of the building, who is at fault? If there is a fire the receptionist may have set duties and no capacity to evacuate your children etc etc

Its notpersonal to you/your kids, its a blanket policy to protect the company and their staff.
Generally you'll find a strong correlation between people with unruly children and people who are the first to blame others when things go wrong, so I don't blame them.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 01/08/2017 12:39

YABU - I work in the service industry and the amount of time parents come in and want me to look after their kids while they nip somewhere is unreal and completely unreasonable. I'm not a babysitter - imagine if something happened to them while I was ''responsible'' for them, the parents would kick off. I've had to chase parents who just drop their kids and head to the door without a word.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 12:41

Op is studiously avoiding disclosing the kid's ages... I suspect they're a pair of toddlers.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 01/08/2017 12:41

I think it depends on their ages. I'm guessing you aren't asking for the receptionist to 'babysit', ie you trust dc not to walk out of the clinic and don't really expect the receptionist to step in if they tried to? Presumably the difference between reception and Costa is one is in earshot of you so it is different.

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