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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
JumpingJellybeanz · 01/08/2017 12:42

Depends on the ages.

owltrousers · 01/08/2017 12:44

I am a receptionist in a private therapy clinic. We aren't allowed to watch peoples kids while they go in for an appointment because if anything happened we could be held personally liable.

namechangealerttt · 01/08/2017 12:44

I don't know where you lived before, but in the UK people can't be bothered on the whole with other people's business. Bit sad really that the receptionist doesn't want to take responsibility for something that is likely not going to be any hassle at all. I will go against the grain here and say YANBU, it is sad people just aren't prepared to help others out abut more, But realistically you can't assume people will.

londonrach · 01/08/2017 12:45

Yabu. Children under 16 are not allowed in these places due to licences and insurance.

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:47

The kids are 6 and 7. I guess I've BU for a long time then! 😳 I agree that the receptionist isn't responsible for my children - I'd never ask them (they offer) but I've always asked ahead and been told it's fine and because I've been coming to this clinic (albeit a different location) assumed it would be okay. I disagree that leaving them in reception which is quiet (it's a high end clinic) and I'm in the room next door is very different to leaving them in a cafe on the other side of the road!

OP posts:
Rainybo · 01/08/2017 12:48

Too young OP. YABU.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 12:48

Why should the receptionist be happy to "take responsibility" for random kids? Confused. Jesus, the entitlement!!

RainbowPastel · 01/08/2017 12:49

How many years have you been doing this? Totally unacceptable at those ages.

KinkyAfro · 01/08/2017 12:49

If you turn up with them then the receptionist hasn't had much choice in the past. Maybe the management have decided that it's not on anymore

BarbarianMum · 01/08/2017 12:49

Well if the OP could trust them to stay where they're put, not need help getting to the loo and behave she could leave them in Costa, couldn't she? The fact she can't suggests that they are too young to be left without adult supervision. So if she leaves them in reception she is expecting /needing someone to keep an eye on

Alpacaandgo · 01/08/2017 12:49

If they are over about 8 and just sit and read then the clinic is being unreasonable. you are not asking anyone to babysit them, just giving them somewehre to sit for your 10 minute appointment I'd have thought was fine. If they are younger than this though I can see why the receptionist might think she had to watch them.

I can understand for example an 8 year old being perfectly fine to sit and wait 10 minutes in reception for you, but I too would not be comfortable with them sitting and waiting in a cafe across the street somewhere.

I don't think yabu at all if this is the case. But I think you might be a bit unreasonable if they are little tots.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 12:49

How do you mean you never ask; they offer? Why would they offer?

PoppyPopcorn · 01/08/2017 12:50

YABU I'm afraid - not in the receptionist's job description to do adhoc childcare. As others have said there's probably a public liability insurance issue too.

Scaredycat3000 · 01/08/2017 12:51

Last time I went to the dentist, bit of an emergency, no option, no family, no support, I took my two 5&8 in with me, they sat in the corner quietly playing their tablets. They behaved perfectly, to be fair though sitting quietly glued to their tablets normal for them. I am very lucky. Not a peep out of them, the Dentist even said how well behaved they were. It never occurred to me to just dump them on the nearest person who couldn't really say no. I do understand that it is a case of the minority ruining it for the majority, those parents that call their DC spirited whilst the kid runs wild and wrecks the place, you only need that happen once and all DC get banned.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 01/08/2017 12:53

I agree that the receptionist isn't responsible for my children

But as soon as you leave your children alone in the same room with her, then they are, whether you say so or not.

NachoAddict · 01/08/2017 12:53

sorry but YABU, I know it is a pain because I have spent many years as a lone parent and totally understand how difficult it is. I am guessing your children are very young because otherwise you could go while they are at school?

KinkyAfro · 01/08/2017 12:53

But leaving them in the reception alpaca would mean that the receptionist would HAVE to watch out for them because what if something happened to them? What if someone decided to walk them out of the clinic whilst the OP was in her appointment? I'm sure the first person she'd blame would be the receptionist. Totally unreasonable and it's not like the appointment was a life or death situation

Tofutti · 01/08/2017 12:54

Bit sad really that the receptionist doesn't want to take responsibility

Er, no, s/he's a receptionist, not a babysitter.

Or do you think the receptionist is probably female and therefore should automatically take responsibility for stray children Hmm

ChristmasFluff · 01/08/2017 12:54

I've always taken my son to the dentist with me - no other option. He would sit in the room with me though. Same as a physio working for a private clinic - patients would have to bring their children into the consultation with them unless they were old enough to sit and read in the waiting room. But we wouldn't have said 'no children'.

Seenoevil · 01/08/2017 12:54

Yabu, they are way to young to be just left in reception while your in another room for 10 odd minutes Hmm
For the treatment your having you wouldn't be able to have them in the room.
At least with the poster above who had a dentist app they could still be in the same room a size her, not dumped in reception.

Noseysoso · 01/08/2017 12:54

YANBU . She doesn't have to responsible for them - you will be close by if they should need you but COSTA is too far for if they should need you. I know many people who do this with kids your age (some younger !). Is it an option to just go to a different location seeing as they don't mind?

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:55

flogging - I always ask if it's okay for the kids to sit in the waiting area with the tv / colouring in quietly and they generally say 'sure, I'll keep an eye'. They don't need to - if the kids were going to run around or need help eith the loo etc I wouldn't leave them, but it's ten minutes and I'm seconds away if something happened.

OP posts:
RainbowPastel · 01/08/2017 12:57

You aren't getting it OP. By leaving your children the receptionist has to take care of them and be responsible. Something that isn't part of their job.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/08/2017 12:57

Of course YABU at that age - I'm genuinely surprised you'd even feel comfortable doing it.

You cannot expect receptionists to be responsible for such young children - what if they get called away?

Coincidentally I went to have a beauty treatment a few weeks ago and the lady was telling me how many women turn up with their young children in tow and expect that either other staff with keep an eye on them or they just let the children do as they please in the salon. I was genuinely surprised.

Seeing as your treatment is only quick OP - could your children, seeing as they are happy to sit quietly, sit in the room you're having the treatment in or is it not big enough?

BorisTrumpsHair · 01/08/2017 12:58

I'd do what you do OP - but obvs its up to each clinic.

When DD1 was fist born I spent some time in Thailand. I used to go to a massage/beauty place for a massage and they would whisk my 5mo baby away to goo and gush over when I had my massage. They would bring her back to me if she needed a BF, I'd feed her lying down, and the massage would continue. All very accommodating, understanding and wonderful. Blissful times & happy memories.