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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:

KingPrawnOkay · 01/08/2017 12:58

You won't leave them Costa because they could get hurt/wander off/get in trouble/get led away. But all of those things could happen in the reception area? Yeah you're in earshot but I doubt they'd be very happy stopping your procedure and holding everyone else up whilst you see to your children. And you're relying on the receptionist to keep an eye on them - i.e. you'd expect them to intervene if someone tried to walk out with them, which isn't unreasonable but they'd obviously feel obliged to stay in reception and not walk out the back or anything. I don't know if I'd say unreasonable but it's a bit cheeky.

MrTrebus · 01/08/2017 13:00

I'm going to go against the grain OP. I think YABU to just expect its ok or check in advance but I have a newborn who I take to my brow appts (takes around 45 mins) because she is happy for me to do so. I would bring my kids to a 10 minute appt BUT only if its somewhere i go regularly and i know they'd be ok with it and I trust my kids to be well behaved. Maybe go back to another branch of the same chain where they did allow you to leave them in the waiting area BUT still check in advance. FYI if i was the receptionist for a 10 min appt i would not have a problem just keeping an eye on your kids and i dont think most receptionists would disagree.

Lucisky · 01/08/2017 13:00

Why couldn't you take them in to the actual room with you where you were having the treatment?

Alpacaandgo · 01/08/2017 13:01

AT 6 and 7 mine would have sat quietly in a waiting room and waited for me for 10 minutes, no fuss or bother.

Perhaps this particular receptionist has a 6 or 7 year old thats a little horror and just assumes thats how all kids are and thought yours would be trashing the place!

simon50 · 01/08/2017 13:02

The receptionist is dealing with a client and one of them climbs on a chair and falls and cracks their head open on a table... Oh I forgot your only seconds away.
Bet I know who you would want to blame?

Notevilstepmother · 01/08/2017 13:04

I don't think it's acceptable to expect a stranger to look after your children for free. I can understand the emergency dentist appointment and I can see that it might be considered exceptional, but laser hair removal isn't an emergency, it's a planned appointment for something that is a luxury not a necessity. You should be arranging for someone to come with you and take them to Costa.

Original poster

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 13:04

Writer - they won't allow kids into the same room as the laser otherwise of course I'd have them in with me like I do with other appointments. I guess that's how it came about in the first place actually, my first apt I brought them to take in with me and when I couldn't felt comfortable leaving them in reception for the 10 mins. I've actually never seen anyone else in the reception area so felt okay with it. I guess maybe I'm too lax compared to most

OP posts:

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 01/08/2017 13:06

YABVU. Sometimes it is simply down to their insurance policy. Why should they look after your children? They are paid staff not free babysitters. The entitlement is unreal.

Scaredycat3000 · 01/08/2017 13:07

Not being familiar with laser hair removal, How quickly could you remove yourself from the treatment, get up and to your DC in another room if you heard them in distress, a sudden pain scream for example? I just tilted my head up from the dentist's chair and could see my two. I'm used to laser cutters that cut Acrylic and plywood , not hair, can you move?

Clandestino · 01/08/2017 13:08

I would never take my DD to an appointment like this and expect the receptionist to entertain them.
I took my DD to a dentist once, I had to have my broken tooth fixed and she had a dental check-up. She was sitting in the chair in the corner of the surgery while they were drilling my tooth and all of a sudden she says (5y old at the time): oh, this sounds like someone farted. It really, does, doesn't it? Like a loud fart.
I couldn't say a word and was only doing noises like a pissed off rhino which had not effect on her. The dentist and the nurse were professional enough to not piss themselves laughing but their shoulders were shaking the whole time. Guess it made for a nice story of "so how was work today".

Original poster

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 13:11

Simon - as if I'd blame anyone else if my child fell and cracked their head open! That's made me laugh out loud! As I said my kids will sit for 10 mins glued to the screen or colouring in. I wouldn't leave them if they were going to run amock!

I take everyone else's point though - I felt that because I've been coming to this brand of clinic on and off for years and they've always been so accommodating with the kids (and I'd felt it was safe) I'd thought it was okay and kind of accepted practice. Got that wrong...

OP posts:

imamouseduh · 01/08/2017 13:11

YABU I've never been to a salon that allowed kids, and I'm glad it's a general rule. I don't want to hear other people's kids crying/fussing in a salon when I'm trying to relax.

LockedOutOfMN · 01/08/2017 13:11

YABU, OP. The clinic is not a babysitter, which is what you're making them if your child are too young to be left at home without a babysitter, unaccompanied elsewhere like a nearby café or library or in the car for 10 mins. Get a babysitter next time.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 13:11

You're giving them responsibility for your children whether they want it or not.

I wouldn't feel comfortable looking after two children I'd never met before. What if one of them bolts? What if one slips and cracks their head open? Whose responsibility is it then?

i understand your predicament but you cannot rely on receptionists to babysit.

zzzzz · 01/08/2017 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverBirchTree · 01/08/2017 13:17

YABU - as a former receptionist myself, don't do this, it isn't fair.

Also - I really hate it when parents give their kids their phone to watch videos/play games in public without headphones. Its really annoying and not as quiet as you think it is.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/08/2017 13:20

My DC would have sat quietly without me for 10 minutes at that age OP, they certainly wouldn't have been climbing on furniture risking cracking their heads open . I don't think you're doing anything wrong and agree a quiet reception area isn't the same as leaving them in a busy cafe.

I can see I'm in the minority though

TheStoic · 01/08/2017 13:24

I don't think YABU in doing it previously, but clearly we are in the minority.

Anyway, their place = their rules.

SilverBirchTree · 01/08/2017 13:26

Some children will just sit there. But some children won't, that's the point.

How is the receptionist, a total stranger to know what your kids are likely to do?

They might have special needs, ASD, allergies ect ect etc. They don't know if they are the kind of kid that will run out the door & into traffic, or eat a peanut & die, or wander off with a stranger.

This is exactly why it is unfair on the receptionist - it is v. stressful to be responsible for a child you do not know!

Don't foist your kid off on other people. It was laser hair removal- not essential.

StayCloseToMe · 01/08/2017 13:26

I haven't read the full thread, but could you take them in with you? I took my 2.5 year old to my midwife appointments when I didn't have childcare. She sat quietly in the corner with the iPad (I was lucky enough to know that she would sit at peace with it, or I wouldn't have done it). No one seemed to care?

Hudson10 · 01/08/2017 13:28

It's not a case of whether they're sitting nicely, or running amok though is it?
It's putting a receptionist in charge of your children. When they've got work of their own to be doing. They're going to feel obliged to keep an eye on them and feel responsible for them (I know I would have if a 6 and 7 year old got left with me. )
How are you supposed to get on with your work if you're effectively babysitting? That's a job in itself but doesn't get recognised as such.

demirose87 · 01/08/2017 13:28

I think you're not being unreasonable if you can take them into the room with you and ask them to behave well. You can't expect to leave them with the receptionist as if anything happened, it would be her responsibility and it's not part of her job description. It depends on age of the kids too, Ive not read through the whole thread so apologies if I've missed this. However, you are presumably paying them a lot of money, my friend has laser and it doesn't come cheap so if you were able to watch them while they have the treatment and they were to behave that should be up to you.

chirpyburbycheapsheep · 01/08/2017 13:29

I do feel like I want to defend the OP a little. I wonder if it is also a cultural thing as the OP mentioned she lived abroad? I grew up in a village. I think there was much more a sense of community and general helping people out. People (even strangers) watched other people's kids for short times (rightly or wrongly). I notice a lot of posters mentioning health and safety and insurance and 'being legally responsible'. I feel somehow this is a very modern approach to the matter and sadly reflects a culture of blame and claim and monetary gain. We also (rightly) are much more aware of dangers such as paedophiles.

I am not saying the clinic was in anyway U to say they wouldn't allow the OP's kids in by the way. Just that I can see how the OP might have felt it was ok if she has had a different more welcoming experience in the past. Sorry you've had such a blasting OP!

FuckYouLinda · 01/08/2017 13:29

I work on reception. If I wanted to mind kids as my job, I'd have gone into childcare.

Reception does not mean being parked at a desk. I'm usually also running between floors dropping off and picking up files, dealing with deliveries at the back door or trying to sort out a parking issue in our car park or outdoor. I might be asked by my manager to pop out to get something or go to the post office.

It's only 10 mins to you and your kids are older and can occupy themselves for a few minutes, but the next customer who is also a single mum and is only there for 10 minutes might have a feral toddler or two in two. That receptionist could have a few mums every day that expect that she keeps an eye on her kids and then she can't do her job properly and she's not qualified or set up to do a childcare one either.

It's probably that more people were blatantly taking the piss and they had to implement a blanket ban on all kids. Which is fair enough.

Sprinklestar · 01/08/2017 13:31

Whatever the rights or wrongs of the situation, surely the organisation should have a consistent policy in place?

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