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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
FreudianSlurp · 01/08/2017 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mia1415 · 01/08/2017 14:42

Wow! There is some harsh responses on this thread. My DS has come to all manner of appointments with me. Try finding a childminder at the weekend! If I went someone and they didn't like it I would find someone more welcoming that did.

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 14:47

Slim, as I said it's a nationwide chain of clinics and I've been to other locations on and off over the years for things. I've been to this one without the kids but as I'd been to the others with them (not always but sometimes) and it was fine I made an assumption - I know I shouldn't have but I did.

Anyway, I managed to work something out and the girl was so quick I was in and out in 3 mins. It never entered my head to have to put my kids in childcare for something that seems so silly. 3 mins of my two well behaved kids sitting in a waiting area watching TV being such a problem! Anyway, lesson learned.

OP posts:
WhenDoISleep · 01/08/2017 14:50

If it is the clinic chain I am thinking of, then it is very clearly listed in their T&C that if you bring a child, there must be another adult accompanying you to take care of the child and u16's can't be left unaccompanied.

I had an appointment this morning, also for laser treatment. I was in and out in 10 mins, but I made sure the appointment was for a day when my DC were at a holiday activity, as I don't have anyone I can ask to look after them during the day.

cakecakecheese · 01/08/2017 14:53

I can see why you brought them as you've done it before with no issues, so it must be a little frustrating but ultimately they've every right to say no.

Butterymuffin · 01/08/2017 14:53

The doctor could be an emergency appointment where a parent hadn't got time to arrange childcare. Dentist is less likely. For anything routine and pre arranged the aim should be get childcare.

Abra1d · 01/08/2017 15:03

At these ages my children would have been just fine left in a reception for ten minutes.

I don't think the OP is being as unreasonable as some seem to believe, assuming they are well behaved children?

thethoughtfox · 01/08/2017 15:06

If you can pay for expensive beauty treatments, you can pay for childcare. Legally, they cannot supervise your children.

PickingOakum · 01/08/2017 15:06

The problem here is that if anything happened to your kids in reception while you were having the treatment in another room, the salon cannot guarantee that you would not try to sue them.

Ask yourself whether you would be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving the clinic of any legal responsibility for your children for the duration of time they were on their own in the reception. Ask yourself whether or not such a request would make you pause. If it would, then you can see the matter from the perspective of the clinic.

Asking them to keep on eye on your kids while you have a treatment in another room puts the clinic in a very difficult position.

Slimthistime · 01/08/2017 15:07

OP I suppose my mindset would have been that you were lucky the receptionist in the other branch/branches was okay with it so I would have always checked.

the thing is the company can't know that the children will be fine, if I was a receptionist I'd be really annoyed anyway because children, and if there's a fire alarm or something they won't have insurance cover etc etc. It isn't comparable to a hair appointment where you can see them.

fairgame84 · 01/08/2017 15:18

The problem is that if they do it for one parent then they will have to do it for others.
Your children might be very well behaved but then other children who are left might not be.

reetgood · 01/08/2017 15:20

YABU. You're making the receptionist responsible for your kids, even temporarily, and that's not her/ his job. I used to waitress and once had someone ask me to keep an eye on their sleeping child whilst they went for a quick walk. My answer was no, based on the same reasoning: I wasn't being paid to look after her kids, I had other duties and responsibilities that would take me away from the kid, and what if the child woke up/ needed assistance? No. Just no. Sure, he was 'no trouble'. Sure, they'd only be gone 10 mins. She was really miffed as well.

But no.

SummerMummy88 · 01/08/2017 15:32

Yeh I wouldn't leave them, it's not the receptionists job to watch your kids, your children could decide to get up and go at anytime.

Alibongo67 · 01/08/2017 15:39

Definitely right for the receptionist to give you the responsibility of looking after your children.
Children should not attend appointments unless they are theirs!!

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 15:43

If you're in the UK they're on summer school holidays, so book them a day in a holiday club and get all your appointments done then

Good for you if you can afford that. Not everyone can.

ChasingHighs · 01/08/2017 15:46

I think at their age it's fine for them to sit in reception for a few minutes. .

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 15:46

Dancergirl - if you can afford laser hair removal you can save a few pounds for childcare

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 15:48

The problem here is that if anything happened to your kids in reception while you were having the treatment in another room, the salon cannot guarantee that you would not try to sue them

And what exactly might happen to these children who are sitting reading or watching something in TEN minutes?

Oh wait, this is MN, there are ALL manner of risks.

Why hasn't someone mentioned what would happen if a fire broke out in reception?? Grin

feteceh · 01/08/2017 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bellsandwhistles89 · 01/08/2017 16:00

I used to work on a reception at a beauty clinic and unfortunately it was just one of those rules to not allow children to wait in reception/treatment room. Of course sometimes there are places that ignore and help out where they can, but generally its to cover the arses of the spa IN CASE something went wrong - which yes I am sure doesnt happen an awful lot.

userofthiswebsite · 01/08/2017 16:07

Above with the post about laughing at the idea of a child climbing on the furniture and slipping with a head injury - you might laugh at that happening but kids do clamber and fall, that's a fact, really not funny for the receptionist who would then be deemed at fault for not having properly supervised your child whilst she was in the middle of a phone call. Or does he/she abandon his/her responsibilities for 10/15 mins and potentially get into trouble with boss later for not having answered phone calls etc to literally stand over them.

As for zzzz's off post earlier about finding somewhere 'more helpful', honestly, it's not the same as refusing to lend her a biro from behind the desk, it's being in loco parentis during the appointment and what if there's more than one parent who wants to leave their kids in reception so receptionist has 3 kids to watch over. You can't pick and choose either you have a blanket no kids unattended rule or you have to agree to watch over all kids.

SweetLuck · 01/08/2017 16:09

I've never had an issue leaving my DD in any manner of waiting rooms, YANBU to leave them.

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 16:10

Aaaaaaarrrgh - I saved for years for this actually as it's something that's bothered me for a really long time. It's not really fair of you to judge my financial position with regards to childcare.

It wasn't not paying for childcare that stopped me thinking of it - it seemed pretty insignificant leaving them sitting quietly for as long as I would leave them playing in the garden while I go in the house to cook or whatever which is why I thought they'd been fine with it before. I hadn't though if anyone 'babysitting' because in my mind they don't need it for that short time. That said, if I had plenty of money I guess maybe I'd be more used to paying out for childcare and thought of it more readily.

I didn't think this made me entitled so I'm horrified that it does. I take them everywhere with me because I don't have the money for babysitter, make a day of it if we're going somewhere for an appointment (ie for a picnic in a nearby park) because I don't like to ask family or friends. Just that in this instance I thought leaving 2 kids quietly for a few mins was acceptable. I can guarantee that they wouldn't just get up and run out of the door - they're sensible little humans that I can reason with, not wild dogs!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 16:15

Leaving them playing in their own garden while you cook dinner is not comparable in any sense at all to leaving them in a reception area having asked the receptionist to keep an eye on them.
And you can't guarantee any such thing, don't be silly.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 16:23

Slaggy - I wasn't judging you at all. I was replying to dancergirls comment about affording childcare.

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