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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 12:45

Richer Sounds have a pot of lollipops on the counter for customers to help themselves...
Lots of hairdressers seem to have bowls of sweets, etc. on the reception desk; it's not beyond the bounds of probability that any kids sitting in reception could simple help themselves from the hospitality pot.

Coffeefuelledmum · 03/08/2017 12:50

I'm a single Mum to three children, ages 2, 5 and almost 9 and although very sensible I wouldn't leave even just my eldest son in the reception area while I was in an appointment. I don't have anyone to have my children when I go for appointments so it's a case of either taking all three everywhere with me (which is obviously usually the case), or if children aren't allowed in I either don't go, or an alternative is going on a website like Sitters and booking an approved babysitter.

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 13:01

Fair enough, I've never seen that and thankfully my DDs are not all that keen on sweets, now chocolate is another matter lol.
They're good about asking me too, thankfully.

But yes, that's the sort of thing you'd consider in a risk assessment. I wasn't factoring lollies into my own assessment of the risks op was taking.

Of course, I would be there anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 03/08/2017 15:28

Most such places have notices that say, 'Please supervise your children at all times.'

Parents shouldn't have to be told to supervise their children, though. If you don't want to look after kids, don't fucking have them. You need to take responsibility for them.

nina2b · 03/08/2017 15:39

From a relaxation point of view, kids should not be allowed into certain places. Is nowhere sacred? Confused

Even if they do behave well they will be no doubt be fluttered over by a clucking mummy. The clucking is almost as annoying.

nina2b · 03/08/2017 15:40

...will no doubt be...

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 16:39

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017, fgs, I was agreeing with that, no need to be that aggressive. I was expressing surprise that the op had been allowed to leave her DC before.

You need to wind your neck in, you're right in what you say but boy you're aggressive,

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lcl · 03/08/2017 16:45

To me this really boils fine to the ages of your kids. I had to take my kids everywhere with me when we didnt live near family but that would only be doctors and the chiropractor a couple of times. They were always in the room with me as they were babies. I would expect it to be ok now at ages of 9 and 7 to leave them in a reception if I had no child care. No ideal but at times this country can be far too anti kids. 10 mins is a very short appoint. However the age of the children is crucial here.

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 16:56

@lcl, I know what you mean, I think some people forget that they weren't born an adult lol.

I agree, it depends on the ages of the children. 6 and 7 are too young to leave IMO.

lcl · 03/08/2017 16:59

Ok re read the thread and they are 6 and 7 so I'd say if they are absolutely aware of what is expected of them i.e. behaviour and safety wise i.e. sit there and be quiet for ten mins and don't move, then that should have been fine. The clinics refusal reinforces the Victorian attitudes we have towards kids at times in the UK. If they never experience needing to be mature or rise to an occasion they never will !

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/08/2017 17:00

what are you doing on a mums' forum?

It isn't a 'mums forum'. Those that aren't parents, and even men, are free to post.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/08/2017 17:02

The clinics refusal reinforces the Victorian attitudes we have towards kids at times in the UK

No. The clinics rules are the clinics rules.

Not all 6 and 7 year olds would 'sit there quietly' for starters.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 17:03

The clinics refusal reinforces the Victorian attitudes we have towards kids at times in the UK

Oh for fucks sake it does not! What victorian attitudes anyway?

It's not a receptionists job to mind your kids while you get your chuff waxed.

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 17:16

Of course they're free to post, but I was asking why? Just curious really, and wondering where this disdain some people have for kids comes from? We were all children once after all.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 17:20

Nobody has disdain for kids. We simply realise that they are not appropriate to be everywhere.
Which is fairly obvious.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 03/08/2017 17:30

Victorian attitude? That's utterly ridiculous. I've had hundreds of appointments over the years and never once expected any of the staff of salons etc to look after my DC!

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 17:31

I was really referring to nina's comment about being irritated even by mothers clucking over kids, which seemed extreme to me. I think a place like that is fine for older kids, who would be able to have the treatments. Our money is as good as anyone else's.

Not appropriate for very young kids, I'd have thought.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 03/08/2017 17:33

elfinpre by this -
This thread has shown up the utter dog-end of MN. As well as a Classics folder there ought to be a Shameful folder where threads like this can go, as an example of how not to post on MN.

I presume you're talking about your totally ott agressive post accusing me of misusing the term nth degree (several posters pointed out you were wrong) and some grammar stuff (again incorrect. I used slang not the dreaded 'would of') then a preachy bit saying I shouldn't post cos it made me look stupid (!)

Still waiting for that apology. I won't give you the third degree over it though! Grin

Lillithxxx · 03/08/2017 17:34

I went to my usual beauty clinic (under new management) and the lady next to me having a pedi brought her 6/7yr old daughter with her. My relaxing experience totalled by constant chiming of said child, entertaining for the mother but no one else.
I don't go there any more. And yes I have three children. I have nothing against anyone's children but parents have some thought for the adults who are seeking some r and r. I do.
Clinics for adults = no place for children.

Mittens1969 · 03/08/2017 17:38

That's a bit extreme. I think it's fine for older girls, 6 years old is a bit young though. I was thinking, age limit 10/11 years old.

nina2b · 03/08/2017 17:42

PigletWasPoohsFriend

what are you doing on a mums' forum?

It isn't a 'mums forum'. Those that aren't parents, and even men, are free to post.

This is true. Shame that some users take everything so literally...Confused

nina2b · 03/08/2017 17:44

Today 17:34 Lillithxxx

I went to my usual beauty clinic (under new management) and the lady next to me having a pedi brought her 6/7yr old daughter with her. My relaxing experience totalled by constant chiming of said child, entertaining for the mother but no one else.
I don't go there any more. And yes I have three children. I have nothing against anyone's children but parents have some thought for the adults who are seeking some r and r. I do.
Clinics for adults = no place for children.

I concur.

waxermundo · 03/08/2017 19:53

I work in a clinic. This happens often because people don't have much choice. Kids sitting quietly at that age with mum other side of the door is no biggie and quite different to being in cafe opposite. I don't think you are being unreasonable. Glad those where I work are more pragmatic, generous and understanding than you lot.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 03/08/2017 20:06

Mittens1969 I was not aiming that at you; I was aiming that at all the entitled selfish parents.