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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drink when home with DC?

194 replies

Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 13:56

My second AIBU in as many days, although this is the fault of my first!

My boyfriends been a bit of arse this morning and we've just had a bit of a row, over the fact I was drinking in the house last night, when DD was in bed.
He was out with friends and I had friends at our house, he's saying I knew he was drinking so I shouldn't have.

I can understand if I was drunk, but I obviously knew I was in charge of DD, so I wasn't! He's saying anything more than 1/2 drinks isn't ok though.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 30/07/2017 13:58

Were you sober enough to cope in an emergency?

I think he was probably being OTT from what you've said above.

kaytee87 · 30/07/2017 14:00

We have a 3 drink rule for the adult in charge of ds.
How many drinks did you have?

IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:02

I suspect the resounding response will be that you're an alcoholic if you couldn't stay away from the demon drink for one night..

For me though, I don't think yabu. I will be in the minority. People go a little berserk when it comes to alcohol. I was raised in the 70's and 80's though where alcohol was a sociable thing with both parents drinking (not getting stocious). I have fond memories of my parents in high spirits entertaining at home.

mistreyus · 30/07/2017 14:05

Personally I drink occasionally when I have the children. My husband lives abroad and if I didn't I'd never get to drink. I never get roaring drunk though.

IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:07

The thing that fascinates me about MN is all these mentions of wine and gin and yet they may be single parents or parents home alone, but God forbid you actually admit to doing it. I think there are a number of closet alcoholics on MN. I think a lot of the virtuous also share a bottle of wine or two with their other halves home with the children too.

Cakeorchocolate · 30/07/2017 14:07

How old is your dd? I'm assuming you weren't drunk? What would have happened if you needed to get her urgent but not emergency medical attention for example? Would you have gone in a taxi?
If yes and such an even was likely to have sobered you instantly then while not ideal I wouldn't say entirely unreasonable. However if you had drunk too much to safely look after dd if she woke and needed you then yes unreasonable.

Plenty of people can manage a social
drink without becoming legless.

This all from the point of view from someone who very rarely drinks.

Oysterbabe · 30/07/2017 14:08

How old is the child?

honeylulu · 30/07/2017 14:08

I have never given a second thought to having a drink or three while my kids are in bed. I most certainly do not mean roaring drunk though. I have even drunk a glass of wine in front of them!
If my husband had gone out and has a drink, then come home and upbraided me for doing the same, he would have got pretty short shrift from me!!

IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:10

Unless the OP was unconscious, I'm sure she retained the wherewithal to call a taxi in the event she needed one.

LorLorr2 · 30/07/2017 14:10

Not a drinker myself but isn't it common to have a glass some evenings when the kids are in bed?
There are those novelty wine glasses for mums and stuff, and 'wine o'clock' facebook statuses

AdalindSchade · 30/07/2017 14:10

Of course you weren't wrong unless you were totally wasted!

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 30/07/2017 14:10

How old is DD and would you have been capable of dealing with an accident?

I don't drink if I am the sole adult in charge of small kids in the house that might need to go to hospital in an emergency.

MartinJD · 30/07/2017 14:11

even if you where slightly pissed most people still come around quickly if they need to. I would just ignore him if i where you. you did nothing wrong.

TartanDMs · 30/07/2017 14:12

I agree with honeylulu. I have even been out with DS when he was little and got a bit drunk. Call social services now. He's 17 now though so I can do what I please!

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 30/07/2017 14:12

I very rarely drink - like, 5 or 6 alcoholic drinks in the past year. I do not drink at all if I am in charge of DC as I cannot hold my drink.

However I don't think 2 or 3 drinks is an issue, as long as you'd be clear-headed enough to, for example, seek advice from 111 and take a taxi to the walk-in centre, or deal calmly with a child who had wet the bed.

IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:12

Some posters really are worst-case-scenario/worriers/the-sky-might-fall-in types. They do my head in.

WatchingFromTheWings · 30/07/2017 14:14

YANBU. If I didn't drink in the house on occasion I'd be pretty much teetotal!

welshweasel · 30/07/2017 14:14

Honestly it would never have occurred to me that having a few drinks with an 18 month old in the house was in any way bad. Yesterday it was DHs birthday and we had friends up for the weekend. We had a glass of wine with lunch and a couple of glasses of fizz before DS went to bed. We had a babysitter and all went out for dinner and drinks, home by 11. No way I could have driven but certainly ok to deal with DS if he was unwell or something.

We share a bottle of wine on a Friday/Saturday night, are there really people that would say that's bad, when a child is in the house? I'm confused.

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 14:16

DD is 9 months, she sleeps through the night.
I'd had 4 glasses of wine and a few cocktails, but this was over the evening/night and we'd eaten etc as well. Obviously wouldn't have been able to drive, but in an emergency would have phoned a taxi and I'd have been ok.

No hangover and I was up with her this morning and breastfeeding.

OP posts:
IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:16

welshweasel - you clearly haven't been on MN for long.
You are the devil incarnate if you imbibe.

AdalindSchade · 30/07/2017 14:18

4 glasses of wine and a few cocktails

Um well actually that's a fuck lot of alcohol. I'd be well pissed after 4 glasses of wine (basically a bottle right?) OR a few cocktails and I wouldn't drink that much with kids in the house.

kaytee87 · 30/07/2017 14:18

I'd be really drunk on 4 glasses of wine and a few cocktails. I can see why your dh would be annoyed tbh....
I'd be annoyed at my dh if he got pissed while he was in charge of ds.
If the child was older it might be ok but 9 months is very little.

IdoHaveAName · 30/07/2017 14:19

And we're off. Grin

Llanali · 30/07/2017 14:23

That would be too much for me to clear headedly decide if an illness was a 111 or a 999 job, but it might not be for you.

2/ small 3 glasses of wine between say 7pn and 11pm is fine for me. As long as you were clear enough to recognise say, a weird rash, then it's fine I think.

pinkhorse · 30/07/2017 14:23

Wow! I'd be drunk on 3 glasses of wine Grin

Were there other adults there that were able to deal with a baby if needed?

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