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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drink when home with DC?

194 replies

Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 13:56

My second AIBU in as many days, although this is the fault of my first!

My boyfriends been a bit of arse this morning and we've just had a bit of a row, over the fact I was drinking in the house last night, when DD was in bed.
He was out with friends and I had friends at our house, he's saying I knew he was drinking so I shouldn't have.

I can understand if I was drunk, but I obviously knew I was in charge of DD, so I wasn't! He's saying anything more than 1/2 drinks isn't ok though.

OP posts:
SpartacusSaiman · 30/07/2017 15:55

So you were tipsy?

No i dont think thats ok.

I also think if an op posted that her dh g8or tipsy whilst in charge of the kids, you would have more yabu.

Louiselouie0890 · 30/07/2017 15:56

Drunk or not I'd say that's too much.

PurpleDaisies · 30/07/2017 15:59

Why is it too much if the ok wasn't drunk louise?

IfNot · 30/07/2017 16:00

StayingClassy I read your comment as
"We're always drunk in the house"..
Grin
Buster if you are regularly drinking more than 6 pints of cider in a day your life wont be going on as long as you might think. .!
Op, I think you probably weren't reeling drunk but you did overdo it a bit. Of course it's fine to have a couple of glasses of something with kids in the house. Moderation in all things. Including moderation ( to those thinking they have to stick to sniffing the fumes off half a shandy)
This is all common sense surely. .?!

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 16:01

Ha, I think he's now aiming for dad of the year or something Annie. Or he's just annoyed I put my friend in our bed with me, so he had to go on the sofa, when he got in.

OP posts:
DirtyChaiLatte · 30/07/2017 16:01

That's a lot of alcohol. Also, it looks bad when in each subsequent post you're minimising how much you drank.

The op says she wasn't drunk.

Doesn't pretty much every drunk person say that??

Mulch · 30/07/2017 16:07

I was with you until you mentioned the volume of alcohol. Is it really that hard to stop drinking and stick to just one or two glasses. You were thinking of yourself rather than your baby to drink that much altogether

PurpleDaisies · 30/07/2017 16:07

Are people missing the fact that it was over seven and a half hours?

sykadelic · 30/07/2017 16:22

Is it okay? Up to you really. Sounds like quite a lot of alcohol to me, but a drink or perhaps too would have been okay... still wouldn't have myself though... I personally couldn't forgive myself if something happened to DS and I was impaired in any way (when I could not be). I couldn't be sure my reactions (or lack thereof) were because I'd chosen to drink.

Personal choice really about what's more important and what risks I'm comfortable with I'd think.

Nanna61 · 30/07/2017 16:43

It's all about being sensible, 1 or 2 drinks maybe, but, you did take quite a lot of alcohol. Trouble is, if it goes wrong it can do in a very bad way.
Consider this:
You pitch up in A/E with sick 9mo, staff smell alcohol, vulnerable child referral to social services.
Your so called best mate plasters the fact that you were pissed in charge of sick child all over FB.
Daily Mail headlines " Mother too drunk to care for sick child!"

BusterGonad · 30/07/2017 16:45

IfNot we are not really discussing the health implications of drinking, but I do it once every 2 or 3 months. Not every weekend.

Pawpainting · 30/07/2017 16:47

Buster if you are regularly drinking more than 6 pints of cider in a day your life wont be going on as long as you might think. .!

Yes because literally every single person who drinks over the recommended limits is going to die young in a horrible manner Hmm and what's more, you sound quite happy about that. get a grip ffs

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 17:08

But I wasn't pissed Nanna61so my friends would be posting that.
Heck, I managed to do mental maths! I'd have been perfectly fine to phone a taxi, know my own and DD's details for A&E. I wasn't incoherent or falling over drunk.....so honestly and I say this knowing a fair few social workers, I really don't think they would be concerned.

OP posts:
welshweasel · 30/07/2017 17:15

Of course a SW wouldn't be concerned, unless you were incapable of caring for your child, which you clearly weren't. I imagine most SW have had a drink whilst looking after their children and I can assure you that when I worked in A&E this would not have triggered a referral.

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 17:15

And my boyfriend hasn't said what he imagines we'll do on holiday, I'm guessing he's not having more than 1/2 drinks every night. Or why he even thought to question how much I'd drunk, I wasn't drunk when he arrived home not that he'd have known as he was very drunk I wasn't hungover this morning and got up no problem with DD at 6.30!!

OP posts:
DirtyChaiLatte · 30/07/2017 17:18

Objectively, that is still quite a large volume of alcohol.

If you'd disclosed the amount in your OP, then I think you would have gotten even more YABUs.

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 17:19

I agree welsh and actually think that that thinking can do more harm. I'd rather take DD to A&E even if it means I'd have to answer questions regarding how much alcohol I'd had, than consider not taking her and her needing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/07/2017 17:22

I agree it is Dirty and as I said it's not something I've done before (while caring for dd). But it wasn't planned and it was over a long time, I didn't at any point feel out of control drunk. I was aware of her and her needs and did control my drinking in that regard.

I guess, I feel my boyfriend should trust my judgement at the time (having never given him reason not too)

OP posts:
Natsku · 30/07/2017 17:34

It is a lot of drinks but it was also over a long time period which makes a big difference and while eating.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/07/2017 17:45

At least he's trying I suppose. You do need to talk to him about this (possibly not today if he's feeling worse for wear!) & ask him WHY he said that. He came home utterly trashed, how does he know how much you had to drink & why was he commenting on it?

If he feels 1 or 2 is the limit over 24hrs, he can definitely be the 'responsible parent' while you're on holiday. Else he can accept you are a competent mother who can decide for herself what's reasonable and you can take turns being the 'responsible parent' if necessary (if either of you want to actually get drunk).

Hope you're off somewhere lovely & have a great time 💐

lionsleepstonight · 30/07/2017 17:55

I'd wonder, after that much alcohol, would you be able to notice if your dd needed to go to hospital. Any fool can call a taxi, so that argument is rubbish. You're also more open to making poor choices such as falling asleep with baby in the bed etc.
So yes, you are BU and your BF has a point. One of you needs to be sober while the baby is so young.
A couple of glasses of wine is ok, but you sounded like you went too far.

AreWeThereYet000 · 30/07/2017 18:05

My partner was out last night, I drank a bottle of prosecco... this was between 8pm and 3am so 1 glass every 1.5/2hrs so sounds a lot but as it was spaced out I wasn't drunk in anyway. Baby sleep 7.30pm-6am so I guess it depends on how much you spaced them out really.

TatterdemalionAspie · 30/07/2017 18:26

OP I think that your boyfriend's sanctimonious attitude is more pertinent than how much you drank last night, tbh. Is he usually critical and undermining of your judgement?

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 30/07/2017 18:42

I think that sounds like an acceptable amount in that period of time and with two lots of food. I'd be in a very reasonable state after that and I don't have a particuarly high tolerance.

DopeyDazy · 30/07/2017 18:47

Half the country would be under social workers if you believe some of the posts on here. DH has one drink when we have grandchildren so he could use car otherwise its a few drinks every night.