To drink when home with DC?

[Emboo19]

My second AIBU in as many days, although this is the fault of my first!

My boyfriends been a bit of arse this morning and we've just had a bit of a row, over the fact I was drinking in the house last night, when DD was in bed.
He was out with friends and I had friends at our house, he's saying I knew he was drinking so I shouldn't have.

I can understand if I was drunk, but I obviously knew I was in charge of DD, so I wasn't! He's saying anything more than 1/2 drinks isn't ok though.

Well, I wouldn't snort a few grams of pure coke while in charge of children

Me neither

You may have had your wits about you but that amount of alcohol is a lot, especially when in sole charge of a 9 month old.
Waking up is harder. You may not hear.
Glad all was fine and there was no emergency but I can kind of see why your OH would be annoyed

Judgement is a human trait, I get that and of course, snorting class A drugs whilst in charge of small children points to a lack of awareness and responsibility and a failure in judgement.

BUT I really take umbrage with people who say 'I only have 1 glass' as though it's a benchmark that everyone should adhere to and if you don't you are a failure because I'm the shit. It says more about you as a person if you feel the need to do that tbh.

How rude. Nope I'm just quite a cheearful person. And not defensive about my drinking.

It's rude to tell someone they are going to die young because on one occasion (that you know of) they had 5 or 6 pints of cider!

I've never asked my boyfriend (not DH) how much he's drank while watching DD NoCapes I trust he'd know not to get drunk. And that's included him having friends round.
My friend was in my bed, because she was really drunk and I didn't want to leave her downstairs alone, but didn't want to sleep downstairs myself when DD was sleeping upstairs. I'd text bf and told him and he could have stayed at his friends.

Not from a big drinker family or culture Any I'd say I drink a lot less than most of my friends. I don't really drink in the house, unless friends are round or BBQ etc. And then usually only a few.
I had a glass while we ate and a second after, then about a hour without, we opened a second bottle I had one glass and second friend arrived, so the three of us finished that bottle, that was my 4th. My friends switched to something else and I had juice. Other friends arrived a few hours later and that's who made the cocktails, I had two spaced out by about a hour and as I said a lower measure of vodka in.

I don't really drink at home normally and have never got into the whole sharing a bottle of wine with dinner in the evenings, I wouldn't say that was wrong just because it's something I don't choose to do!

Paw I'm sure I'll die young from having 6 pints over 6 hours one evening every 2 to 3 months! 😂

I don't get the not been able to drive issue though, I won't drive after one drink anyway. But if DD was poorly enough to need A&E, I wouldn't want to drive with her alone in the back.
I'd phone a taxi or family member.

At the moment we only have a car so if my husband has it and I'm home with my son I couldn't drive him there anyway. I'd either ring 999 or ask help from a neighbour, either way he'd get there if he needed too!

My boyfriends mum says that Surfer she's a nurse and on three occasions she'd worked night shifts, dropped the boys at school and then ended up getting a phone call as one of them was hurt and needed to go to A&E. She'd not slept at all, but says that she didn't even realise, until she got back home! None of the times did she risk driving though and I know it's not drinking but tiredness can be as bad.

Hmm, personally I wouldn't drink so much until baby is over toddler age- once they're able to speak and are a little more self sufficient.

Until then I feel somewhere around (or equivalent of) 3 glasses of wine max is more suitable (if I was the only person there).

If both me and partner were around and drinking together, I'd maybe have a little more as I think we'd be able to muddle through an emergency as a team- extra brain power! This would only work if we were on par with each other though, not one half pissed and other totally wankered.

Saying that, I doubt I will drink at all (apart from the very occasional half pint with meal) until baby has stopped breast feeding (aiming for somewhere around a year/slightly over).

I do like a drink but I don't think I'd be able to let go and enjoy it in the same way now anyway. Once baby is a fair bit older it will be different- I definitely will be getting merry at Christmas and summer evenings etc when he's primary school age. Never legless though (unless someone else is caring for him!)

Christ op said clearly not drunk i have a daughter not now cause im pregnant! But id drink 3 glasses of wine at no point did a emergency come up mumsnet is full of judgy pants 😆

OP dont condone yourself to anyone

I also don't understand this driving business- I don't drive full stop but if my baby needs to get to hospital he will make it there one way or another! I've never had to wait longer than 5 minutes for an uber where I live 🤷‍♀️

Where I live uber don't exist. Taxis don't run after 11 in the week and 1am /1.30 at the weekends.

Not everyone lives where there is easy transport.

We have no public transport at all and very few taxis, if any but I still wouldn't not drink just on the off chance of an emergency! I have loads of neighbours and in the past 8 years I've only really had 2 emergency doctors/hospital trips which happened in the day and were me being paranoid and all was well. Both of those times weren't even when I've lived in the sticks either!
Op if you can honestly say you were fine to look after a baby then don't worry about it, everyone is different and have different tolerances to alcohol, I've been a bar maid in the past and one person can have 8 pints and appear fine and aware while another is shit faced after 2!

I'm on holiday at the moment and have consumed a bottle of wine over the evening. Dinner etc.
Last year dd had an accident and had to go to hospital by French Ambikabce, we'd been in the site club and had a few drinks but trust me I sobered up quickly and was more than capable of getting the ten miles home at 3am by taxi.
Adrenaline kicks in nicely.

It's rude to tell someone they are going to die young because on one occasion (that you know of) they had 5 or 6 pints of cider!
Pretty sure I didn't say that actually. She said life goes on, I pointend out that it doesn't go on as long as you might think if you drink that amount regularly.
As someone whose dad never saw 55 I should know. That's not rude, that's just a fact.

Would you be fine with your child minder/nursery staff/teacher having a couple at lunch time as long as they weren't blotto?

Flat that point has already been covered, parenting is 24hours a day, 7 days a week blah blah blah, child minding etc is X amount of hours per week and a paid profession, completely different.
I wouldn't want a child minder playing on their phone, painting their nails etc on the job but I do it when I'm looking after my son.

Mychild

That's fair enough but that's exactly what I mean, not everyone lives near public transport but... not everyone lives away from public transport! People make the assumption it's irresponsible to not be able to drive in case of xyz but you work with the situation you're in, don't you?

I know it's been covered but nursery/childminder/paid babysittier is different, as the case with most things you pay for.
When my parents or bf's mum watch DD, I don't specify how much they can drink. I trust them as responsible adults.

As I've said with the driving, if DD was bad enough to need A&E, (not done so as yet, but then neither have I) I wouldn't want her in the back seat while I drove, plus don't think I'd be fully concentrating on driving if she was very unwell. I don't sit at home worrying about my DD, suddenly becoming seriously unwell in a matter of minutes though, I know it can happen but think it's likely very rare. And with a mum who works with children and a mil (although not officially) who's a nurse, I'm pretty relaxed, we've had one gp appointment due to illness and one out of hours gp appointment, that's it! Twice in 9 months she's needed to see a doctor and one of those was us being slightly over cautious and both occasions we knew she was seeming unwell. I'd think a older child would have more chance of a accident that may suddenly need a A&E visit to be honest.

Anyway thanks for the replies, I don't feel guilty as I know I wasn't drunk and I'd have dealt with an emergency if needed. I do agree it's a lot though and with just that to go on it seems too much and if I drank over 2-3 hours I would be drunk on that. Hell first time I went out after DD was born I was drunk on two drinks.

I've spoken to my boyfriend and all's ok in that respect. Although he's got to stop booking Saturday night events, as he seems to have the monopoly on them at the moment.

Ledkr no you didn't. You don't "magically" sober up in a crisis!

The alcohol is STILL in your blood and STILL affecting your judgement.

Depending on your weight and other factors, it takes about three hours for your body to eliminate the alcohol content in two drinks. Contrary to the belief that coffee, water or a cold shower can sober you up faster; the fact is that NOTHING can speed up this process.

I took that from this site

www.uleth.ca/alcohol/truths.html

But of course, people who like to drink when they're in charge of children will know better.

MrsOverTheRoad

Adrenaline temporarily overrides the effects of alcohol.

I'd be pissed off I'd DH drank that much whilst in charge of our DC.