To think that DH should have invited me?

[AVY1]

This is such a weird thing to be asking isn't it?!

DH went to visit a friend this weekend so they could go to a National Park. I've just found out that the friends partner travelled down with DH. At no point in the past two weeks has he mentioned that she was going or ask me to come too.

I've got no problem with him doing things on his own but these are both of our friends and it's just so weird.

All he's said is he thought my work would be awkward and he didn't know where DD would go. But that doesn't make sense because DD is with his parents this weekend (and she could have come with us anyway) and I'm literally at home, not working, doing DIY. (That he was supposed to have done two days ago so that I could paint today)

He's definitely with the friend as have seen pics. And also I know there isn't an affair going on. So I've been deliberately excluded. In the same text where I asked why he hadn't asked me to come he also said he didn't want to deal with this right now. Which suggests he knows he's been a shit, realised the girlfriend had sent me pics, knew what I'd be upset and has just rattled off the excuse he'd sold himself over such a bizarre lie by omission.

AIBU?

(Also , it's somewhere I'd asked if we could go to over the summer as I've always wanted to!)

Maybe he just wanted some time with his friends?

Yes, he should have, it's very weird he didn't. I would not be happy.

Which I would, and always have been fine with. But he's always told me and it's never been an issue. He's seemed fine lately so I'm just a bit confused. I'm not angry about it either.

Well, that's a nice way to make your spouse feel loved! He'd rather play gooseberry and leave you at home doing fucking DIY than have a childfree weekend away with you.

Yanbu, that's weird. Do you generally get on well with them? Could it have been that she turned up without him knowing she was coming?

YANBU. Did the friend's DP tag along unexpected do you think - was your DH thinking it was going to be a lads' trip?

Very bad form to say he can't deal with your questions now though, sounds like there's more to it.

Ring him.

That's very strange. When he gets back you need to talk about it and try to understand his reasoning.

I think I'd be a little bit angry. How dare he dismiss you as well.

He picked her up on the way! She texted me the pics and said she was gutted I wasn't there!

We've got no problems (that I know of) and DH usually hates doing couple things without my moral support.

How could the partner 'tag along'? OP's husband picked her up and took her!

So she was expecting you to be there too?
Sounds very strange.

Oh so she travelled down with just your DH? I thought you meant DH picked his mate up and she tagged along too. Bizarre.

No she lives halfway between us and him. And sometimes he does go, pick her up, and they do stuff together. And sometimes I have too. It's just so out of character for him to keep something from me, especially as we'd talked lots about it. Not fallen out with friends either so can't imagine they asked him not to bring me!

That is very odd. If he thought there would be a problem with your work, I would have thought he would have asked. I know absolutely nothing about your relationship obviously, so this could be way off the mark, but does he have some kind of crush on the girlfriend? It sounds like he wanted some alone time with her, she sensed this in the car so sent you loads of pictures just to send him a message that she wasn't interested.

So how come he wanted to spend time with the dp alone?

What sort of stuff do they do together?

Trying not to jump to the obvious conclusion.....

Goodness no. i knew that MN may think that but I'm really not worried about a crush at all.
And I work for myself. I am about to start a big project but he knows that's not until next week and that I'd kept myself clear to do house stuff this weekend. Which if he'd used as a reason for not planning it for both of us I could have understood but he hasn't even mentioned that!

Or anything worse than a crush. I do get why that would seem like the obvious conclusion though.

That is a bit weird. Is everything OK between you?

Have you casually mentioned to her in a text that your DH didn't invite you?

Everything's amazing! Just tried to ring him but he didn't answer. Infuriatingly he's made it an issue by preemptively assuming I'd be pissed off and wound himself up about it. I don't even think it's something worth having a row about. Would just like a non vague answer!

Well then the only other conclusion is he needed some time away from you for some reason. You sure all is ok with the relationship?

Something doesn't add up - if he didn't know what to do with DD he could've arranged something or asked you to -
He could've mentions girlfriend going - but didn't -

I'd ring and ask for an answer - you SHOULD be angry! Why aren't you?

Yea I did. When she text a pic and said how much of a shame it was that I wasn't there, I sent one back saying that I didn't know I was allowed! She literally just sent back a load of question marks and exclamation marks.