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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH should have invited me?

439 replies

AVY1 · 22/07/2017 19:13

This is such a weird thing to be asking isn't it?!

DH went to visit a friend this weekend so they could go to a National Park. I've just found out that the friends partner travelled down with DH. At no point in the past two weeks has he mentioned that she was going or ask me to come too.

I've got no problem with him doing things on his own but these are both of our friends and it's just so weird.

All he's said is he thought my work would be awkward and he didn't know where DD would go. But that doesn't make sense because DD is with his parents this weekend (and she could have come with us anyway) and I'm literally at home, not working, doing DIY. (That he was supposed to have done two days ago so that I could paint today)

He's definitely with the friend as have seen pics. And also I know there isn't an affair going on. So I've been deliberately excluded. In the same text where I asked why he hadn't asked me to come he also said he didn't want to deal with this right now. Which suggests he knows he's been a shit, realised the girlfriend had sent me pics, knew what I'd be upset and has just rattled off the excuse he'd sold himself over such a bizarre lie by omission.

AIBU?

(Also , it's somewhere I'd asked if we could go to over the summer as I've always wanted to!)

OP posts:
Stardustandicecream · 22/07/2017 20:01

This is screamimg affair to me sorry

That or he's going to break up with you when he gets back - he said he doesn't want to deal with it now

I think you need to prepare yourself

happypoobum · 22/07/2017 20:02

I don't understand - why don't you call him?

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:03

I have tried and he didn't answer.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 22/07/2017 20:05

I'm glad your friend is standing up for you.

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:05

I took it that he meant he didn't want to deal with me being weirded out that he didn't say I could come too.

Will definitely be a bolt out of the blue if that is what he's planning Confused

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 22/07/2017 20:05

Sorry if I missed something but where is he now? How 8s he left home alone if you are in and live together? Is he staying at his friends tonight?

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:06

Yea me too. They're both amazing friends. And pretty blunt. Imagine they may not be so passive when they get back.

OP posts:
Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:07

Yes sorry. We live in the south and friend is up north so he's staying with him

OP posts:
Witsender · 22/07/2017 20:07

I would text him and tell him that you don't understand why he lied to your friends and said you were working, when he knew full well you weren't. If he wanted time alone then that is something he could tell you surely, without this subterfuge? And how is it better to be sitting alone than with your wife?

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:08

It's not, is it? I fully expect a phone call in an hour when he's bored senseless.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 22/07/2017 20:09

So it was the three of them there all day while you stayed behind to do a job he should have done?

Jedimum1 · 22/07/2017 20:11

Can join call the girlfriend "to check if DH is ok, as he doesn't answer"? Try to fish out some information?

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:11

Pretty much! Which I may well have decided to do if it had just been s general visit but he'd usually (always) still talk to me about it.

OP posts:
Bobbins43 · 22/07/2017 20:12

This is just weird, OP. I hope you get some answer soon. And fuck the DIY. I'd get a takeaway and a drink and a DVD and veg.

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:12

The couple are out for dinner so not an option right now. Knowing her I wouldn't put it past her to decide it would be really fun to all FaceTime me when they get in though.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 22/07/2017 20:13

Have you thought that he really did think it was just him and his friend.
That he misunderstood, did you ask if you could join them?

Jedimum1 · 22/07/2017 20:13

I don't think it's an affair, I think she would have not sent the picture! I'm thinking actually that it might be s surprise for you, are you married? Could he be thinking about proposing and wanting to talk to them about ideas and check out the place you wanted to go?

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:15

We're married already. It is my birthday soon but I'm still waiting for last years present so doubt it's that!

I would have thought that mummmy if it wasn't for the fact he picked her up on his way!

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ImperialBlether · 22/07/2017 20:15

Oh come on, Jedimum!

thekillers · 22/07/2017 20:15

What are they doing at the national park? Something that you don't do?

My DH regularly goes away with a friend of his, sometime that friends' wife (who is a friend of mine goes). They all love outdoors, camping canning, rock climbing. I hate it and would ruin it for them if I went as I am not good.

PurpleDragon76 · 22/07/2017 20:15

Weird behaviour. I would get that from a boyfriend maybe, keeping commitment at arms length. But a husband? And you have a child? Really odd behaviour. To me its either he wanted a boys weekend and didn't realise mate's other half was going or he wants to get away from you and he's not happy. Either way he still owes you honesty without cryptic crap messages.

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:16

They climbed a mountain - something I for DH into!

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Bobbins43 · 22/07/2017 20:16

OP, you didn't get a birthday present last year?! Why?!

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops · 22/07/2017 20:18

If he does call you, don't allow yourself to be sidetracked. If he wants to talk to you, he needs to answer why he's done this. He owes you an explanation.

Original poster
AVY1 · 22/07/2017 20:18

I was supposed to get a romantic weekend away. DH has a chronic case of good intentions - hence why I'm the one that's spent the day doing DIY.

OP posts: