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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disrespectful and lazy

347 replies

Lakegeneva40 · 08/04/2017 14:31

So background. I am a Sah to 3 DC. Dh works long hours and earns a good salary which I guess enables me to Sah and improve my education.
We had booked a weeks holiday but dh aS unable to get the full week off. So rather than the kids miss out I drove down on the Saturday and dh followed Monday night.
The night before I left. The kitchen was immaculate as no one wants to return home to a dirty kitchen.
So this morning dh took kids off to a theme park before driving home.
I finished off the packing and cleaning etc and drove straight home to make a start on the laundry etc. (Watch casualty)
When I arrived I found a dirty frying pan and utensils left on the side.
Aibu to lose my rag when he returns. It's lazy and disgusting right.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 08/04/2017 14:33

One pan and a few utensils? Urm overreaction much.

Thattimeofyearagain · 08/04/2017 14:33

Yabu. Its not like he took a shit on the kitchen table. Get over yourself.

Thewanderer03 · 08/04/2017 14:34

I get the point of a clean kitchen when you return but I think one pan and a few utensils are not really cause for losing your rag! Maybe mention it but don't think it's that bad!

GinIsIn · 08/04/2017 14:35

If this is what you class as lazy and disgusting then you lead a very sheltered life. Get a grip.

goodpiemissedthechips · 08/04/2017 14:35

I'd be a bit annoyed. But save the discussion for a day or two after you're all home, address it calmly and focus on how you felt. I think that will get you a lot further.

Original poster
Lakegeneva40 · 08/04/2017 14:36

They have sat there for the best part of a week though. The kitchen stinks of grease. All he need to do was put them in dishwasher with his dirty plate which made it. Unlike his glass which was still in lounge.

OP posts:
pictish · 08/04/2017 14:36

Hardly the end of the world is it? Calm down.

dementedpixie · 08/04/2017 14:36

Meh bit of an overreaction

Guavaf1sh · 08/04/2017 14:36

YABU

Moussemoose · 08/04/2017 14:37

It is rude, it is disrespectful.
The issue is how much fuss you make. The house is your place of work so to treat it in this way is to disrespect your job.
He won't get this. He definitely won't get it if you shout.
How much of a row do you fancy?

GoodDayToYou · 08/04/2017 14:37

Possibly, yes, but he'd just finished working and was starting his holiday. If it's really just one pan and a few utensils I would leave it. Not worth ruining the holiday vibe over.

Someone once advised me to 'pick your battles'. I've found that to be really good advice.

pictish · 08/04/2017 14:38

"The house is your place of work so to treat it in this way is to disrespect your job."

Whaaaat? Shurrup!

It's his house too.

Original poster
Lakegeneva40 · 08/04/2017 14:38

Ok maybe I am overreacting but I guess I am fed up of being the only one who seems to give a toss about such things.

OP posts:
originalbiglymavis · 08/04/2017 14:38

You'd drop dead if you saw the state of my kitchen then. I swear we have some sort of anti house elf hat just comes into make a mess.

cornflakegirl · 08/04/2017 14:38

A bit lazy. Whether it's disrespectful depends on who he expects to wash it. He may just not particularly value coming home to a clean kitchen - does he know that you do?

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 08/04/2017 14:40

You have a few child free hours and you're using them to decide how much of a fuss to make over a dirty pan Hmm.

Original poster
Lakegeneva40 · 08/04/2017 14:40

The pan would have been there since Saturday so he had all day Sunday to deal with it.
A full day chilling at home whilst I had the kids.

OP posts:
pictish · 08/04/2017 14:40

Same here - take a deek at my kitchen then. Grin

Floggingmolly · 08/04/2017 14:41

Who is it disrespectful to?? He lives there as well. Why are you taking it personally?

Nanny0gg · 08/04/2017 14:41

So no-one else clears and cleans and makes somewhere immaculate and then doesn't mind someone else coming along and leaving mess?

Oh. Just me and the OP then.

Moussemoose · 08/04/2017 14:41

pictish

If you go to some lengths to tidy something up and someone else messes it up that's rude. If you are a sahm your house is your place of work.
When people in an office leave cups on other people's desks riots ensue.

Earlybird · 08/04/2017 14:42

Irritating, but not worth a fight. Especially when you've just returned from what hopefully was a fun and relaxing week away.

None of my business, but the wording in your OP conveys a lot:

'Dh works long hours and earns a good salary which I guess enables me to Sah and improve my education.'

It sounds like you don't respect or appreciate him much.

Original poster
Lakegeneva40 · 08/04/2017 14:42

Tbf the rest of my house is a tip but the kitchen was immaculate.

OP posts:
DiseasesOfTheSheep · 08/04/2017 14:44

I don't understand why anyone would get so worked up over something so trivial unless there is a massive backstory to this?

MamaHanji · 08/04/2017 14:45

I think if a pan and some cutlery is making you feel this disrespected, maybe there's actually something else bothering you?