To think this is disrespectful and lazy

[Lakegeneva40]

So background. I am a Sah to 3 DC. Dh works long hours and earns a good salary which I guess enables me to Sah and improve my education.
We had booked a weeks holiday but dh aS unable to get the full week off. So rather than the kids miss out I drove down on the Saturday and dh followed Monday night.
The night before I left. The kitchen was immaculate as no one wants to return home to a dirty kitchen.
So this morning dh took kids off to a theme park before driving home.
I finished off the packing and cleaning etc and drove straight home to make a start on the laundry etc. (Watch casualty)
When I arrived I found a dirty frying pan and utensils left on the side.
Aibu to lose my rag when he returns. It's lazy and disgusting right.

He works long hours and provides for you and you're upset over a dirty frying pan and utensils? Bitch, please.

The laundry is in the machine. Can't do much whilst it's washing. Well actually washing again as its the load I put on before I left Saturday morning which despite there being an audible alarm was left in there all week.

The same theme park I was on my own with the kids on Saturday whilst he was home on his own. And Sunday for that matter but not the theme park

Have you also noticed the bit that by taking the kids he avoided having to help clean holiday home.
Anyway he has texted to say he and the kids are at a restaurant so at least I won't need to cook tonight.

'lose your rag'

What does that entail? I wouldn't take it well if my husband 'lost his rag' with me because I'd left in a rush and forgotten to clean a pan.

It's really not the end of the world. Unless there's some backstory going on in addition. Tell him he left it and I'm sure he'll clean it.

As a PP said, you have to pick your battles OP. Your DH couldn't even take the full week off work for the holiday - is he moaning about that? I'm a SAHM too, but I certainly don't keep a mental checklist of how many times I've picked up or cleaned up after DH - probably because it's about about 20 times every day! However, he does other things for me and in general things kind of balance out. I just couldn't be bothered fussing over the small stuff.

I'd be mildly narked, and tell him to wash it when he gets in. No need for any rag losing.

Get a grip. Really.

Whilst he is working long hours I am looking after the home, 3 kids ( one not a school).
I do every bath time, every bedtime whether he is home or not.
But anyway off to watch casualty before they return.

Agree with PP - huge overreaction OP.

Losing your rag over a frying pan? Really?

Im with you OP

I work every weekend and clean the house from top to bottom on a Monday, I keep on top of it over the week.

Somehow over the weekend, DH, DS and DD, make a mess and I start again Monday morning.

I also find it really disrespectful

If he didn't work those hours, you'd have no home to look after. Sigh. You sound so smug. Enjoy watching your show.

A frying pan and some utensils is hardly messing up the kitchen!

Losing my rag would probably asking why did you not get the think to wash it.?
His response would depend on whether anything else was said.

It is disrespectful and lazy. I'd also be fuming as I leave the house clean and tidy when I go away. But obviously I'm unusual from the replies above.

If you resent this so much and you clearly do, why don't you get a job, split the household chores. And yes he should take his turn with the kids. Just tell him.

You can't go on harbouring resentment as it shows up in things like your op.where you wanna go nuts over a frying pan of all things.

And contrary to the above posters comments I'm also the main earner currently, which I think is kind of irrelevant. I still tidy and clean and take pride in the house?

You're unusual in that you'd be fuming at the "disrespect". Only that.

I might make a joking "you could have washed up after yourself" type comment but that's about it, certainly wouldn't be bothered by it.

Seems like the problem is you have let a situation develop whereby you are the default for doing all the housework so he is probably used to that and doesn't "see" what needs doing.

Your husband works long hours so you do not have to work, your husband took your children to the theme park and you have a problem?

So your kids have been to this theme park twice in a week?
There's no way that one pan with some grease in it wouyld be reeking

You're being unreasonable. And frankly a bit off your rocker if you want to freak out over something so petty.

I'm with you - it was lazy of him to leave a dirty greasy pan for a week.

Is he in the habit of leaving things for you to deal with?

Don't clean it for him.

Jeez, I'm a clean freak and this wouldn't bother me at all. A frying pan and some utensils? Not a big deal. People always manage to forget to do something before leaving for a few days. This is about as minor as it gets.

Oh dear, I'm imagining OP waiting behind the door with said frying pan. CLANG!!

I think you should get a job so then you can split the housework equally. If it was bothering you and it'd only take a minute why didn't you just wash it? Some people are more sensitive to mess than others, he probably didn't think anything of leaving it there. Hardly a personal attack on you.