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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 04/04/2017 09:17

Your cousin is a nut job. HTH.

Tell her to fuck off from me.

msrisotto · 04/04/2017 09:18

Did the men buy different suits too?

She's being a twat of the highest order. Dresses for these occasions are bloody expensive and it's none of her fecking business anyway.

Akire · 04/04/2017 09:18

Of course not, not unless you had cash to burn on 4 new outfits. All then men there were probable in the exact same suit shirt tie and no one would have batted an eye lid!

icelollycraving · 04/04/2017 09:18

Your cousin is nuts.

Msqueen33 · 04/04/2017 09:19

Sounds like something my mum would say. What if you didn't have the money? God do these people not realise the bride tends to be the focal point and to be honest who can even remember. Sounds like they've got nothing better to worry about. I'd have done the same as I'd probably wear a dress or skirt and in my ever day life I don't and they'd never be worn so I wouldn't want to waste the money.

RaspberryOverloadsOnChilli · 04/04/2017 09:19

I agree. I don't spend a lot on fancy clothes so I'd also use the same dress.

HellonHeels · 04/04/2017 09:19

Your cousin is totally out of order! Wedding outfits are expensive and add massively to the cost of going to a wedding. You attended the weddings, dressed nicely, were clean and well presented nothing more needed.

Bloodybridget · 04/04/2017 09:19

How ridiculous! Who cares what a wedding guest wears, as long as they look reasonably well dressed?

MiddleClassProblem · 04/04/2017 09:19

Wow she has massively over reacted. I try to wear different outfits to weddings with in the same group but that's my own issue and not one I would project on to anyone else.

trixymalixy · 04/04/2017 09:19

They're bonkers. Perfectly acceptable to wear the same dress to more than one wedding.

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 04/04/2017 09:19

Did all the male guests buy a brand new suit for each wedding? I bet they didn't, the disrespectful bastards. Smile

Jessesbitch · 04/04/2017 09:20

I'm doing it this weekend! Different people but the outfit has been my profile pic. DH is wearing the same suit but I doubt anyone will give a shit...

Rainydayspending · 04/04/2017 09:22

Your cousin is nuts! I'm surprised your mum agreed with her. I'd be taking the piss out of her rampant materialism from here to the end of time. Is she usually so vaccuous?

qumquat · 04/04/2017 09:22

How insanely rude! I have two wedding outfits and have worn one or the other to about 20 weddings. If anyone has an issue with that they can buy me a new dress themselves!

Twentyten2010 · 04/04/2017 09:22

Did the men buy different suits too?

This!!!! Just another example of everyday sexism. Men can recycle the same outfit but god forbid a woman does!

I did the same thing last year, but only two weddings which were a week apart. The dress cost me £150, I was determined to get my money out of it.

I then sold it on eBay for £75. Now thats cheap!!

Pineapplemilkshake · 04/04/2017 09:22

Your cousin is rude, and wrong. You shouldn't have put yourself down either by saying that you are cheap though! I'm sure the bride and groom couldnt give two hoots what everyone was wearing, I know I certainly didn't when I got married. Your cousin sounds like a loon, to be honest if I were you I would not bother replying and would give her a wide berth from now on.

megletthesecond · 04/04/2017 09:22

Yanbu.

Jengnr · 04/04/2017 09:24

Your cousin is mental.

And why is she so invested anyway?

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 04/04/2017 09:25

Unless you were wearing a flowing white gown or a flamingo outfit then I doubt anyone else noticed what you were wearing!

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:26

My cousin is usually a really rational and normal person. I made the joke about being cheap because it's a running joke- we used to go on cheap girls' holidays together, we always drink cheap wine etc.

I never even thought of the men's suits, that's a really good point.

I haven't replied to her. I probably won't, I'll just let it lie and hopefully she comes round to her own stupidity soon.

My mum's a loon. She's very consumed by what people think. I'd normally take her advice/opinion with a pinch of salt but I do care about my cousin's opinion, which is why it threw me!

Glad I'm not BU.

OP posts:
Sodomeyes · 04/04/2017 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rinceoir · 04/04/2017 09:28

I've worn the same outfit to the last 6 weddings I have attended (since last summer!). There wasn't a big overlap of guests but I don't really care.

sonyaya · 04/04/2017 09:30

How rude. Outfits cost money. You're there to celebrate the couple getting married, not to go on a fashion parade. I would be mortified if my guests felt they had to purchase a new dress for our wedding for fear of being in the same outfit twice. Who the f cares?

I think it's pathetic when mumsnet moaners list the cost of an outfit when complaining about how much it cost to go to a wedding because it isn't essential, but it now makes sense that it's probably idiots people like your cousin doing it!

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:30

Jengry I have no idea why she's so invested. She's a bit bonkers. She likes to be the one organising everyone and sorting things out (hence she's the one distributing photos via email) so I think it might be part of that. She's harmless, just a bit of a control freak sometimes.

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 04/04/2017 09:31

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! Definitely going to use the "why did your DH/DB/male guest buy a new suit each time?" If anyone ever questions me on something similar, luckily I'm old now so most people are married already if they're going to do it!