Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 07/04/2017 09:54

I said "that's because you're shallow and consumerist" and she said "Yeah, I know" Grin

I like your style Grin

SapphireStrange · 07/04/2017 09:55

Sounds like you're still mates and you've come to an understanding, OP. Nice one.

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 07/04/2017 10:20

Oh yeah, definitely still friends. I'd really hate to fall out with her over it because she does say things without thinking sometimes. Glad I pulled her up on it though.

OP posts:
FerdinandsRevenge · 07/04/2017 10:49

I'm shocked by all these posters who can fit in to a dress they've owned for 20 years!!

Epipgab · 07/04/2017 11:33

Grin Glad it was a happy ending! Well done for making your point.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 07/04/2017 14:21

Glad to hear a happy ending!

I totally would have told her she's now a famous fashion critic Wink

HappydaysArehere · 07/04/2017 14:41

That is one hurtful thing hing to say to anyone. It says far more about her than it does about you. Perhaps she scrimped on the present so she could buy another new outfit!

TheVeryThing · 07/04/2017 14:42

Well done, sounds like you handled it really well. Glad to hear you're still friends.

actino · 07/04/2017 16:32

Have weddings this weekend and next, wearing the same dress to both (having already worn it to two other weddings before!).

I 100% don't give a shit if any of the brides/guests care, they aren't entitled to choosing my clothes.

Winteriscominginnit · 07/04/2017 16:54

Next time anyone questions the decision to wear the same outfit (gasp) twice send them this photo

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?
Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 07/04/2017 17:33

Oh god, I've been contacted (via MN) by NBC Today show to give an interview about this thread and my story.

Bum, this is all getting very huge. And I'm still hungover Sad

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 07/04/2017 17:41

Rude and wrong

Darbs76 · 07/04/2017 17:47

Nothing wrong with it your cousin is being very rude

DartmoorDoughnut · 07/04/2017 18:13

Ack just say no thank you and it'll go away

monkeytoad35 · 07/04/2017 18:51

Your cousin is nuts. You can wear what the hell you like. I think you should wear the same outfit to the next wedding 😂😂

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 07/04/2017 20:46

Glad your evening went well. You don't even need to decline the media approach. Just ignore. Or write back "sorry, no".

PidgeonSpray · 08/04/2017 09:05

I personally would not wear the same dress to 2 weddings that have a big overlap in guests, like shared family.

But I wouldn't be irate at a family member who did. I would just think it was poor form... or they were skint and had no other choice x

user1471505498 · 08/04/2017 09:52

I never even realised that some people had such views before this post. And you can see that you're very much in the minority on here, PigeonSpray!! A ridiculously shallow attitude to have.
Even op's cousin conceded that her outfit was stunning and she took different accessories anyway.

user1471505498 · 08/04/2017 10:11

I always thought a wedding was about what the bride was wearing, not the guests! As long as they're dressed appropriately who flipping well cares??

Lulu49 · 08/04/2017 13:44

Tell her to do one!!!! Who really gives a shit what you wore to the wedding so long as u looked nice

sweetcarolines · 08/04/2017 14:53

Jaysus your cousin is a dick! YANBU

Dizzy2009 · 08/04/2017 17:11

(New username lol!!! I was user1471505498 before!!)
I don't get this obsession at all with buying a new outfit for every wedding. I haven't been to a wedding for some years as most of my friends are all married with children now. But when I did go to weddings I did care about looking good but didn't worry about buying a new outfit specially. But as I'm a yo-yo dieter I often didn't have all that much choice but to buy something new lol.

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 09/04/2017 13:00

Pidgeon

I would just think it was poor form

What do you mean by 'poor form'? And why do you think wearing the same thing twice would be 'poor form'?

Not being goady, I'm really just curious.

OP posts:
RaspberryOverloadsOnChilli · 10/04/2017 08:32

It's just double standards, really.

A man wears the same suit to lots of weddings and no one bats an eyelid. A woman wears the sand outfit more than once and she gets castigated but some people.

Wearing the same outfit is not poor form.