Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
SillyLittleBiscuit · 04/04/2017 09:54

Tell her it was a toss up between a new outfit or a wedding gift as you couldn't afford both.

I used to have a wardrobe of dresses that I didn't particularly like (bought for a wedding and because they fitted rather than suited me) that I only wore once. Absolute waste of money.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 04/04/2017 09:54

What an absolute fucking tool. That is all.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 04/04/2017 09:55

Your cousin is a nut job. HTH. Tell her to fuck off from me

that!!!!! Grin

MrsMeeseeks · 04/04/2017 09:57

I think VivienneWestwoodsKnickers summed it up in the first post. Don't give it another moment's thought.

Pardonwhat · 04/04/2017 09:57

Ridiculous.

I actually once attended a wedding where I was one of the only people not in tracksuits. Was your outfit a tracksuit?

liquidrevolution · 04/04/2017 09:57

By their reasoning Princess Anne (and now the D of Cambridge) is being rude to people each time she rocks up to an event with a recycled outfit.

Bonkers.

WateryTart · 04/04/2017 09:58

I have a very expensive outfit which will be attending its 3rd and 4th weddings this summer.

Cousin is bonkers.

IamNotDarling · 04/04/2017 09:58

YANBU!

Clothes are clothes. I'd be fucking furious if someone said that to me. I wore the same dress to three weddings in a row with the same fucking shoes and bag. My husband wore the same suit, shirt and tie. They cost a lot of money and we were damn well going to get our money's worth out of them!!

CotswoldStrife · 04/04/2017 09:58

I think it is rude to say it's rude! (to wear the same outfit).

I have reworn outfits/suits to weddings if there has been no overlap of guests. We used to do a roaring trade at work swapping accessories such as bags and hats for such occasions - same basic outfit but (as you did) make it look a bit different without buying something you are unlikely to wear more than once (cost per wear still counts for me if someone else wears it Grin )

I would be so tempted to make the point about the men's suits in response, though ....

CalmItKermitt · 04/04/2017 09:58

She's mental and rude.

MidniteScribbler · 04/04/2017 09:59

It shouldn't matter (and to be honest, I rarely pay attention to what people wear, as long as they are dressed appropriately for the occasion).

That said, if you were in the formal wedding photos for both weddings, I can see that it might look a bit odd. If they're just 'in the background' pictures, then it doesn't matter at all.

Maxwellthecat · 04/04/2017 09:59

Eh????
I'd be so upset if someone didn't come to my wedding because they couldn't afford a new dress, which is what you cousin is suggesting when she says you'd have been better off refusing an invitation.

What a total tosser, get her told.

emmyrose2000 · 04/04/2017 10:00

YANBU!

Your cousin is horrible and rude. Was she the bride? Was she a bridezilla?

I've never understood why people think they have to buy a new outfit to attend a wedding. It's always struck me as a ridiculous waste of money. The only time I bought a new outfit (traditional wedding dress) for a wedding was for my own.

Maxwellthecat · 04/04/2017 10:00

scribbler why would it look odd? How often do you put two sets of wedding photos together and compare what the guests are wearing?

milkmoustache · 04/04/2017 10:01

Next time you meet your cousin, why not wear your wedding outfit? Grin

MidniteScribbler · 04/04/2017 10:03

Maxwellthecat I guess I'm just thinking of my aunt and uncles house where they have a photo wall with all of the formal wedding photos of their four children's weddings. There's a family photo from each wedding, so it might look a little odd. But it's a pretty minor issue really. Just for me, if I were going to be in the formal photos at two weddings, I would try and dress differently if possible. If I'm not going to be in formal photos, then no one should care if I've worn the outfit before.

Hastalapasta · 04/04/2017 10:04

Rude and slightly bonkers! I have a 'wedding dress' that I wore for the cluster of weddings that occurred in my late 20's to mid 30's. Good value, so far working out as £10 per wear, including dry cleaning Grin

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 04/04/2017 10:04

Interestingly, my DH bought a new suit for our own wedding (10 years ago) and has worn it for multiple weddings since (and funerals). I'm not sure anyone even noticed.

I think I'd get a different reaction if I wore my wedding dress to other weddings!

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/30069564/australian-tv-host-wears-same-suit-for-a-year-and-nobody-notices This story was interesting.

Doristic · 04/04/2017 10:05

An action doesn't have to be carried out by a man to be sexist.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 04/04/2017 10:05

If I like an outfit I wear it a lot.

It's not about money, it's about me enjoying wearing what I like to wear.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/04/2017 10:05

Your cousin is the wedding wardrobe co-ordinator? Righty-ho.

Maxwellthecat · 04/04/2017 10:07

I have a friend who had a formal dress as her wedding dress and wears it to other peoples weddings, that alone doesn't bother me in the slightest but her and her husband don't pay any attention to the couple when they are saying their vows and instead act like its their vows saying I do and kissing. Very odd.

Goldfishjane · 04/04/2017 10:09

Glad someone linked the tv host thing
I wore the same garb when I suffered four weddings in a year. Why not?

Epipgab · 04/04/2017 10:12

Who does she think she is? Of course it's fine to wear the same outfit as often as you like! What isn't good manners is finger-wagging at someone because they don't waste money on extra clothes they don't want or need.

She deserves a taste of her own medicine TBH.

"Of course I wanted to attend, that's why I was there. Why weren't you enjoying the day instead of judging other people's clothes? It's disrespectful, rude and a bad show to criticise what someone wears. Many people wear the same outfit more than once. It's no reflection on the hosts at all. If you didn't want to attend and risk seeing a dress you'd seen before, you should have declined the invitation rather than turn up with an inappropriate attitude".

Epipgab · 04/04/2017 10:14

She's mental and rude.

Rude? Yes totally. Presence or absence of mental illness? Not relevant.