To feel sad that I am probably not going to be a mum?

[lottielonsdale]

Am 38. Mr Right has evaded me.

I know - I could, possibly, do it alone but I still feel I'd miss out hugely. Feeling sad and like I've been a bit cheated stupid I know

I know it's a self pitying post!

Halve you thought about becoming a foster career?

I know it's not for everyone but it's pretty rewarding.

And you never know - Mr Right might be just around the corner - friend of mine was in this exact same position 2 years ago, she met Mr Right online a year ago and she's turned 40 and they have just moved in together and are trying for a baby

Life can change like the wind.

*have

My friend is having her first baby at 43. It can happen.

Exactly the same situation for me OP. I turned 38 in December. I've not quite given up hope yet. for you today

I met my DD's dad when I was 38. It happens. My DB and DSIL were together for 17 years before she fell pregnant at 38. Don't stress or worry. It can still happen 😀😀

No of course not. I had my children through fertility treatment in the end but this was a distinct possibility for me for a long time and it is hard to reconcile yourself to. For personal reasons if it's something you need time to readjust to and potentially mourn for. And also because society does still often value women according to their ability to reproduce or history of it.

You're certainly not alone though, which may mean it's an easier road for you than it has been for women in the past. I think 1 in 5 women who are 40 now will never have children.

more important to find your soul mate then everything will fall into place

Yanbu to be sad - but there is still time. Hope it works out for you.

One of my colleagues is due to become a mum for the first time soon at 46 - there's still time

Yes - my friend who i thought would never have kids had hers at 45. Another fell pregnant eith a very new partner at 38 and now has 3. Again another friend had 3 quick pregnancies with a new parter starting around 37.

Good luck, OP. I hate the Daily Fail commentators who blame our falling birth rate on "career" women when actually it's some women who would like to have children but haven't found the man they want to marry and have kids with in time. You could still do it alone if you know you can cope or adopt.

YANBU at all. It sucks, but as pp have said, there is still time.

Thanks, I do appreciate your answers :) Foster carers are amazing but it's a full time job which I just couldn't commit to.

You can probably have a decent and happy life even if you don't have children.

You're not unreasonable to feel sad of course.

I know but I would feel very, very sad too. And also going into middle and old age possibly without partner or family worries me somewhat, I must admit.

I'm 48 and never became a mum. It just didn't happen for me. I have 2 nephews and a niece who I love very much so I do have children in my life. I also have a 2 year old dog who is my baby who settles my nurturing urges.

Lottie I met my dd's dad aged 41 and I had my dd aged 43 and 3/4. Yanbu to feel sad but don't give up hope!

are you being proactive?

In what sense? :) Thanks for the words of encouragement!

YANBU, of course. I sympathise at 40. So your odds are still better than mine!
To complicate matters my Mr Right thinks he's too old for family plans.

But this is about you OP. If you couldn't commit to fostering how would you commit to parenting, anyway?

Erm - do you know anything about foster carers!?

Fostering is a bigger commitment than your own children.

I know, believe me :)