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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to be so upset about this?

196 replies

Iwantausername · 26/02/2017 20:44

Hi,
I had a trip away for myself booked, just a cheap trip within europe. I'm supposed to be going with a family member I've not seen properly in a very long time.
I have never held a passport of any kind, So 13 weeks before my trip was booked (My flight leaves 10.04.2017) I wrote up the application and gave 'D'P the money for it so he could post it for me en route to work, as it was on his way anyway. He said he had, then a week later said he'd received a text saying it had been received and would now be processed, I didn't think to question this or ask to see the text etc. Looked online and its normal for them to text you so thought nothing of it. Then 3 weeks later (bringing total application time to around 4 weeks) I started to get a bit worried as my interview letter hadn't arrived. every first adult passport requires an interview apparently, and according to some info I've read it should only be 5 weeks maximum for this.I waited another week and got really worried by this point. So I tried to ring the passport office and couldn't get through, then 'd'p got home from work and I got a bit upset and told him I was very upset it was taking so long and did he think it would all come through ok (just looking for some reassurance really) he then laughed at me and told me he hadn't actually sent it off and I was stupid to believe he had then he threw £85 at me (the money I'd given him to cover the cost of application and everything). He's also lost my birth certificate yeah right so I've applied for that and paid an extra 15 pounds to get that fast tracked. I finally sent off my complete form and certificates a few days ago. I'm so upset as now my passport probably won't be back in time.
AIBU to be so upset he has done this to me? :( he seems to think so as ''I told you in enough time for you to still have 6 weeks between now and april 10th'' (which is the minimum time as dictated by the passport office, that one will wait for their first passport)

OP posts:
CatThiefKeith · 26/02/2017 20:45

I'd be leaving personally. I take it he doesn't want you to go?

70ontheinside · 26/02/2017 20:46

I am going to answer with 2 of mn's favourite acronyms: YANBU and LTB.

GirlElephant · 26/02/2017 20:46

This is bizarre behaviour, it seems to me he's trying to stop you going. Does he have form for letting you down or bring controlling?

Softkitty2 · 26/02/2017 20:46

He is a scumbag! Why did he do that to you? Just reading your post is giving me the rage.
He is a prick!

Rosae · 26/02/2017 20:46

He's a dick and clearly doesn't think much of you. Good points to him?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 26/02/2017 20:46

Fucksakes OP what is wrong with him? Why would you put up with that lazy, mean idiocy?

summerbreezer · 26/02/2017 20:47

This man has no respect for you. Why are you with him?

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 26/02/2017 20:47

I hope you are not tied to him in any way, because this is the pinnacle of dickish things to do.

You need to leave him, seriously. I bet this is the worst thing he has done but there's lots of smaller things you explain away and justify to yourself.

Flowers
Nicknacky · 26/02/2017 20:47

Why has he done this?! Of course you haven't been unreasonable!

Vacant101 · 26/02/2017 20:47

Erm... odd, very odd.

SleepWhatSleep1 · 26/02/2017 20:47

Truly LTB.

Bluntness100 · 26/02/2017 20:47

That's absolutely awful. What a horrible thing to do to someone. Does he do other abusive things to you?

harderandharder2breathe · 26/02/2017 20:47

What a total twat!

That's a really nasty, malicious thing to do to someone he's supposed to love. And LTB is cliche but this really would make me question the relationship.

Iwantausername · 26/02/2017 20:48

Summerbreeze I don't know :(
Just wanted some clarity, thank you MNetters.
Yes, he has form.

OP posts:
AYankinSpanx · 26/02/2017 20:48

OP, forget the trip to Europe for now. It's far more important to pack his stuff - or yours, whichever works best for you - and leave him.

He sounds like a spectacularly nasty piece of work.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 26/02/2017 20:48

Looks like you aren't married. . So ltb. . Asap.

ItWentInMyEye · 26/02/2017 20:49

Bizarre and cruel. I think there are bigger questions you need to think about here. Flowers

Yukbuck · 26/02/2017 20:49

Weird behaviour. I'd honestly LTB too.
But aside from that. Please don't panic yet. I think it will be processed in time..my first passport took about 3 weeks if I remember correctly.

CooolWhip · 26/02/2017 20:49

Delete him

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 26/02/2017 20:51

Wow! What an arse! Did he really find himself funny?

BitchPeas · 26/02/2017 20:51

What a malicious piece of shit. Get rid of him.

Mummamayhem · 26/02/2017 20:51

What a horrible mean person he is. Enjoy your trip and don't return to him. Honestly you are worth far more than that.

Iwantausername · 26/02/2017 20:52

I think he does think its funny.
Yes he has form for this type of thing. Including violence. I don't know why I'm still here :( I'll try to check this thread again soon but he's home now so may be a while

OP posts:
StewieGMum · 26/02/2017 20:52

Such a cruel and malicious thing to do. I agree with others. I'd be rethinking the relationship rather than your vacation.

LittlePaintBox · 26/02/2017 20:52

There's no excuse for his behaviour, and you need to be away from him.