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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be so upset about this?

196 replies

Iwantausername · 26/02/2017 20:44

Hi,
I had a trip away for myself booked, just a cheap trip within europe. I'm supposed to be going with a family member I've not seen properly in a very long time.
I have never held a passport of any kind, So 13 weeks before my trip was booked (My flight leaves 10.04.2017) I wrote up the application and gave 'D'P the money for it so he could post it for me en route to work, as it was on his way anyway. He said he had, then a week later said he'd received a text saying it had been received and would now be processed, I didn't think to question this or ask to see the text etc. Looked online and its normal for them to text you so thought nothing of it. Then 3 weeks later (bringing total application time to around 4 weeks) I started to get a bit worried as my interview letter hadn't arrived. every first adult passport requires an interview apparently, and according to some info I've read it should only be 5 weeks maximum for this.I waited another week and got really worried by this point. So I tried to ring the passport office and couldn't get through, then 'd'p got home from work and I got a bit upset and told him I was very upset it was taking so long and did he think it would all come through ok (just looking for some reassurance really) he then laughed at me and told me he hadn't actually sent it off and I was stupid to believe he had then he threw £85 at me (the money I'd given him to cover the cost of application and everything). He's also lost my birth certificate yeah right so I've applied for that and paid an extra 15 pounds to get that fast tracked. I finally sent off my complete form and certificates a few days ago. I'm so upset as now my passport probably won't be back in time.
AIBU to be so upset he has done this to me? :( he seems to think so as ''I told you in enough time for you to still have 6 weeks between now and april 10th'' (which is the minimum time as dictated by the passport office, that one will wait for their first passport)

OP posts:
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 26/02/2017 21:03

He is an arse and you deserve so much better. Leave.

RandomMess · 26/02/2017 21:05

He really is very abusive and you have been brainwashed into thinking you don't deserve better in life. Well you do! So after your trip away please don't go back Flowers

Megatherium · 26/02/2017 21:07

He's going to carry on trying to sabotage this holiday. You need him right out of your way.

laureywilliams · 26/02/2017 21:07

Life is too short. Leave.

PenelopeFlintstone · 26/02/2017 21:07

He has laid all his cards on the table, it's time for you to show your hand

Agreed. He's shown you exactly who he is. LTB.

honeyroar · 26/02/2017 21:08

He lied to you, laughed when you found out, and is making you feel stupid for being upset. Plus you throw in that he can be violent!!

No, no, no! You deserve so much better. Come on! Start working put an escape plan, get yourself away from him. Your life will be so much better.

kslatts · 26/02/2017 21:08

He sounds mean and controlling. YANBU.

Magicpaintbrush · 26/02/2017 21:08

OMFG I am appalled. What an utter bastard. This man clearly has no respect for you or your feelings. You deserve much better. Unforgivable. Please have my first LTB!!!

MammaTJ · 26/02/2017 21:11

He laughed!! He didn't even go 'Oh shit, I forgot', which would be me, because I am scatty. He knew, he did this deliberately!

He is being controlling in the worst possible way.

YANBU to be upset, that is a perfectly normal reaction to such controlling and abusive behaviour.

Now, what are you going to do about it?

gamerchick · 26/02/2017 21:11

He's a cunt OP. I hope you get it in time.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 26/02/2017 21:12

God, please leave this man. Please.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 26/02/2017 21:15

Please leave him OP. He sounds horrible.

I hope you're ok.

Ifitquackslikeaduck · 26/02/2017 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 26/02/2017 21:16

He's telling you who he is OP; a pathetic spiteful excuse for a man. Walk away now and never look back. That you even have to ask us whether this is horrible or not shows that he is already eroding your self esteem.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 26/02/2017 21:17

If he'd laughed because he'd been a forgetful muppet it would be forgiveable. This clearly isn't the case and it seems he was mocking you. He is cruel.

I'm also wondering why you believed they text him, why not your number? On top of that, payment. Why did you need to give him money to cover it? Do you have your own card? Just concerned that it may be another way he's being abusive

TheLegendOfBeans · 26/02/2017 21:18

Make sure he's not identity frauded you too.

Msqueen33 · 26/02/2017 21:19

There's a whole chorus singing red flag. Run he sounds like a right bastard.

greathat · 26/02/2017 21:19

I have never done this before but LTB!

This is cruelty and he is trying to control you

Ellie56 · 26/02/2017 21:20

You need to get rid of this low life twat.

CarelessWispas · 26/02/2017 21:20

OP your post is really upsetting to even read. This man is a cruel abusive liar who has zero respect for you and seems to take pleasure from your confusion and pain. I'm not sure it gets much worse than that.

Please get out.

ToffeeForEveryone · 26/02/2017 21:22

Your life will be so much better without him in it. Leave leave leave.

Glastonbury · 26/02/2017 21:24

If he has form for this type of behaviour why did you trust him to send it?

IAmNotAWitch · 26/02/2017 21:25

So actually, what is he for?

DoJo · 26/02/2017 21:30

Please leave him. What he's done is so pointlessly, overwhelmingly cruel, I simply cannot begin to imagine the kind of mind that would even contemplate doing it. He's clearly a monumental dickhead and you could actually be happy without him in your life, conspiring to fuck things up for you.

Goldmandra · 26/02/2017 21:30

When you come back to this thread and see what all these people have written, believe them.

Believe that you have the right to be treated with love and respect every day and in every way by your partner.

Believe that, if you walk away, you will find someone who will treat you a lot better and make you happy.

Believe that he is the problem and you are not in any way responsible for his behaviour.

Believe that nothing you can do will ever make this relationship better. If you stay with him, you are condemning yourself to a lifetime of abuse.

Believe that the good bits of your relationship, if there are any, are not worth the abuse. He might have been charming when you met him. The violent, abuser you have described in your posts is the real him. He will never be the person you want him to be.

You are a worthwhile human being who has a lot to offer someone in your future.

Walk away. You will not regret it and, one day, in the not too distant future, you will wonder why you stayed as long as you did.

Walk away with just the clothes you stand up in if you need to. There are people who can help you and keep you safe if you need that.

I would come and pick you up right now if I could.

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