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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whole family shopping trips.....

199 replies

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 13:19

Why??? In M&S yesterday for essential reasons ( friend's birthday present) and see a family. Parent 1 pushing pram with what looked liked year old child looking miserable (parent not child). Two older DC (maybe 4 and 6) toy fighting and parent 1 says "boys, cut it out" with zero conviction. Parent 2 dashing about picking up stuff as fast as possible. Youngest child starts crying. Older two complaing they are bored, when we going home etc. Both parents look utterably miserable. Why do people do this? Why doesn't one shop and one take DCs to cafe / stay home and watch a movie/ whatever. Why subject children to this? It genuinely baffles me.

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 31/12/2016 13:23

Occasionally we go altogether if it's on the way home from something else. No point driving all the way home and back again. And the two older children should've been parented better- my 5 yr old kicks off from time to time but it's a useful skill to learn - shopping, checking prices, comparing two things etc. I don't know why I often see families out shopping altogether at 9pm with kids in pj's! They should be in bed!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 31/12/2016 13:23

Maybe they like the misery?

Mcnorton · 31/12/2016 13:23

I wouldn't/don't do it on a regular basis (would prefer never to) but they do need to learn that shopping needs doing and that sometimes you have to behave whilst doing something tedious. Essential life skill! Plus my husband works shifts, sometimes I like to actually see and speak to him, and that means doing this sort of thing. Not paying a babysitter so I can go to tesco.

EZA15 · 31/12/2016 13:24

Maybe there is no one else?!

EZA15 · 31/12/2016 13:24

Ah - just re read - there are two parents present!

sparkler10 · 31/12/2016 13:25

I had exactly the same thought when I saw a poor family dragging themselves around Tesco on Christmas Eve. Why doesn't one do the shopping and the other take the kids to the park?!

LindyHemming · 31/12/2016 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameUsed · 31/12/2016 13:29

I think usually it is because the person in charge of shopping doesn't drive and therefore has to have their partner (usually the husband) drive them. They probably don't have childcare either so have to take the children with them.

Yesterday all three of us went shopping because OH wanted to buy the wine and DD (16) and I wanted to choose the food. We both drive BTW and often shop online as well.

insancerre · 31/12/2016 13:29

Maybe only one parent drives
Maybe they are on thier way somewhere else
Maybe its the only time they get together
Maybe they can't afford to do anything else
Maybe they don't know any different

Who knows?
Don't it really matter?

AuntJane · 31/12/2016 13:44

Separate but associated point. It does not take FOUR people to operate a self-scan till, making the one next to it inaccessible!

SaucyJack · 31/12/2016 13:48

Because the whole world does not revolve around keeping kids happy every second of the day?

There are 24 hours in a day. Children of 4 and 6 are likely to be awake for at least 13 of them. You can do shopping and the park in one day- believe it or not.

Noodledoodledoo · 31/12/2016 13:48

We sometimes do a family outing to the shops - only when we are buying something that may require both of our inputs though.

Possibly a trip to Tesco but we tend to try and do that as little as possible - although my 2 year old does love a trip to Tesco for entertainment so tends to go with husband!

JustSpeakSense · 31/12/2016 13:52

I think sometimes only one parent drives, so both end up going with kids in tow.

My idea of hell Confused

monsterbookofty · 31/12/2016 13:55

Maybe both parents want to teach their children how to shop?
I do not understand this new logic of keeping the children at home. How are they going to become independent adults if they have never set foot in a supermarket. Confused

Original poster
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 13:57

I get maybe only one drives - but this shopping centre has lots of child friendly activity - including free stuff. I also agree that children need to learn and be exposed to things they might prefer not to do. But both parents looked really unhappy. The one shopping was like a headless chicken - kept coming back to check the others were OK. Surely better to be able to browse leisurely? If the parents looked like they were enjoying it - fair enough. But everyone looked tense and fed up. Not trying to be goady - just genuinely can't thing of one good reason for a whole family to be subjected to such hell.

OP posts:
Munstermonchgirl · 31/12/2016 13:58

I wonder the same thing.... surely if only one parent drives, they can also cope with doing the shopping solo!

I guess there are some situations where it's unavoidable to take the family (e.g. If en route from somewhere- though personally in this situation one of us would have sat in the car and read a story rather than all traipse round the store)
However there are definitely some families who do seem to see supermarket shopping as a whole family affair- I knew a couple of families like this when my dc were small. It seemed like the highlight of their week- all heading off to Tesco. Funny old world

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 31/12/2016 14:03

My dbro and dsil do this with the kids as they both hate it so much, their thinking seems to be ' if I have to suffer so do you ' Hmmnot quite sure that makes sense as I would willing put pins in my eyes before I take you and the kids with me to Tesco.

bloodyteenagers · 31/12/2016 14:04

Years ago I used to do the family shopping thing. I didn't drive ex did. Sending him would result in spending more either
Because he would put brands and expensive cuts of meat in. Or he would take his mate who would chuck stuff in to eat
At ours. Plus this was before days of home delivery.
Now with home delivery I don't understand family shopping

Original poster
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 14:05

It was clothes shopping - specifically the sales rails. Agree about taking kids food shopping to show them. Saw a girl with her dad in asda the other day and she had her own mini shopping basket and was really enjoying putting stuff in it.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 31/12/2016 14:07

Only DP drives, so generally only DP does the shopping. If I feel a desperate need to do more than just make a list, I do an online shop. Sometimes (around 7pm) I will get a lift to Morisons with a friend, to check out the yellow stickers.

Maybe it hasn't dawned on them there is any other way!

Scholes34 · 31/12/2016 14:08

I must admit, shopping with three under fives was much easier than shopping with DH on his own now - fewer tantrums and no need to feed snacks at regular intervals to keep their mood positive.

justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 14:11

Why are you being so judgemental?
You don't know anything about them and judged that they looked miserable because of the shopping. You have no idea why they're miserable. Yes it probably was that but yabu for judging them !

RacoonBandit · 31/12/2016 14:11

What a weird thread Confused

They are a family doing the family shop together. Why should it be one persons responsibility and why should you care.

BertPuttocks · 31/12/2016 14:12

If I'm buying children's clothes, I usually need to take the person they're for along with me.

The clothes sizes seem to be completely random in some shops. My 10yr-old is currently wearing a 7-8yrs top from one shop, and my 6yr-old is wearing an 8-9yrs sized one from another. Confused

noenergy · 31/12/2016 14:18

I have to take my kids sometimes as hubby works long antisocial hours, but never go shopping with both of us. I try to go when the older 2 r at school/nursery or these days when they r asleep. It's bliss to go shopping on my own n takes less than half the time.