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AIBU?

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Original poster

Whole family shopping trips.....

199 replies

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 13:19

Why??? In M&S yesterday for essential reasons ( friend's birthday present) and see a family. Parent 1 pushing pram with what looked liked year old child looking miserable (parent not child). Two older DC (maybe 4 and 6) toy fighting and parent 1 says "boys, cut it out" with zero conviction. Parent 2 dashing about picking up stuff as fast as possible. Youngest child starts crying. Older two complaing they are bored, when we going home etc. Both parents look utterably miserable. Why do people do this? Why doesn't one shop and one take DCs to cafe / stay home and watch a movie/ whatever. Why subject children to this? It genuinely baffles me.

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 31/12/2016 17:13

I agree with you op. Can't understand a whole family outing to the shops!

I used to work in a small green grocers and it got busy on Saturdays and just before Xmas. The number of families who all came in, often with large prams, granny and other kids was outstanding! They would fill up the entire shop, and sod the rest of the customers or staff who hardly had room to move!

sobeyondthehills · 31/12/2016 17:14

I suffer from anxiety, if we have to go out, my partner comes with me, he doesn't drive, I do, we don't have any other child care, so DS has to come with us.

Trust me, when I say, when I am out, I look miserable, because I am

intheknickersoftime · 31/12/2016 17:18

I don't have a lame excuse. We just did the shopping together. We all chose the food. It's different now because I have a teenager . I just wanted us all to be together. So did my DP. Never realised we would be judged about it.

yeOldeTrout · 31/12/2016 17:24

not just the shops... 8yo DS does a sporting activity. (Outside, cold, weather can be foul). DS's mate is brought by mom. Soon, Dad usually turns up with the much older brother (pointless 16 mile RT drive). They all just hang out & watch for a freezing hour. I mean... why?

woodhill · 31/12/2016 17:29

I think it's to get out of the house and have a change of scene for dc whilst doing food shop.

DH wasn't always around to help but we quite liked going out as a family as he often worked at weekend.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2016 17:30

I don't care what other people do but I would never do it myself.
I do the shop on line or DH does it with one or other of the DC.
He enjoys it, the kids enjoy it - it's my kind of hell.
He only ever takes one of the DC other wise it becomes an excercise in crowd control.

The only time we ever shop as a family is in Spain. I'm ready to kill someone about 15 minutes in.

Frouby · 31/12/2016 17:34

I take my dcs most places with me. Shopping for food, clothes shopping, chores, mooching around etc.

As a consequence I can take them anywhere I need to because they understand how to behave in public places. We can go out for meals, they are well behaved on holiday and on the plane, travel well.

I really don't give a shiny shite if my dcs offend anyone else by their mere presence in what you deem to be an adult only space.

Plenty of folk get in my way out and about. It's part of being out and about.

Anyone not liking people, young or old can always shop online themselves.

BackforGood · 31/12/2016 17:39

Thats different though trout - sport is a spectator activity.
If you want to go and watch a fixture, you might as well go and watch someone you know. As well, as course as being there to support your dc - like having to sit through concerts if they play an instrument.

yeOldeTrout · 31/12/2016 17:46

It's not fixtures, @BackforGood, it's just training exercises. The boys aren't very good, it's remedial if we're honest. I go for a 5 mile run while DS is there. Almost all other parents disappear away.

TheNaze73 · 31/12/2016 17:50

YANBU. It's weirdness

BackforGood · 31/12/2016 17:52

Oh right. Inagree then, that is weird.
I drop my dc at training too - although there used to be a family that did that - mum, dad, and teenage sister all came. I always thought that odd too Grin

passmethewineplease · 31/12/2016 17:53

I can't think of anything worse. Usually one of us goes whilst the other stays at home with the kids.

I like shopping on my own!

Sandybum · 31/12/2016 17:54

It's not about people taking their kids shopping, of course children should experience activities of daily life and sometimes it is unavoidable.

Some of us just think it's odd that two healthy grown adults need to take the whole family shopping when the task could easily be achieved by one person. Each to their own though, if that's your idea of fun. Just be mindful that some people want to get in and out of the shop fairly quickly and one family group moving as one mass can be slow and difficult to get past.

intheknickersoftime · 31/12/2016 17:59

Isn't it weird how we're all so different sandybum Hmm. Thanks for the parenting advice. But as far as I know, it's noones business what a family is doing in a supermarket. My kids often want to come to Tesco with me Shock

DinosaursRoar · 31/12/2016 18:03

YANBU - I understand children will have to learn that there's some shit parts of being a grown up, but it's not like someone who wasn't dragged round the shops as a child is incapable of learning how to go buy some pants as an adult.

If there's only one driver, then obviously you've got to all go, but if there's something else the DCs can be doing with the 'spare' parent, why make them stand there bored in order to learn how to be polite when bored?

I blame the fact that some people are so lacking in imagination, they see going to buy stuff as a leisure activity.

Claire7984 · 31/12/2016 18:04

really winds me up too. i work for a storage company and sometimes 3 bloody generations will turn up, like its a family day out. drivs me crackers defo no need foit or when going shopping

yaela123 · 31/12/2016 18:06

It's up to them what they do but there is no way I can imagine us taking all 6 DCs shopping with us - it would be mayhem, especially when the little ones were babies/toddlers. DH usually goes by himself or takes our DD2 (she loves it for some weird reason?!?). He has much more patience for grocery shopping than me as I just get irritated after 10 mins.

SingingGoldfinch · 31/12/2016 18:08

I'm 100% with you on this! I never understand why a whole family shopping trip can be in anyway fun for anyone - and I feel really sorry for the poor kids you see being dragged round the shops on a Saturday. We very rarely go into town as a family - dd and I will go but she enjoys it, dh and ds will avoid it at all costs! I went to a big shopping centre on a blazing hot day one summer (child-free to meet a friend) and the place was heaving with families. They should have been in the park or on the beach not strapped in pushchairs or being dragged through m&s. I think shopping is such a huge pass time in our culture now that lots of people just do it because they can't think of any other way to pass the time. I find it really sad.

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/12/2016 18:11

I will take a couple of mine with me at a time, thats fine. But all of them together is absolute fecking carnage.

I had to take all 6 of them with me once when DD4 was a baby, we were on our way back from somewhere and had to pick up dinner on the way home. We made it down the first aisle before I gave up, shouted them out fo the shop, shouted them into the car, shouted them all the way to chip shop and dumped them on the sofa with a bag of chips and an apple each :o

Sometimes you really have no option but for eveyrone to go, but whole family shopping when you have a choice, is something I have never understood.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2016 18:11

My DC learnt how to behave by learning how to behave in multiple situations They were then able to generalise that.
They didn't need both me and DH to do special supermarket outings together to work on supermarket specific behaviour. It's still mostly 'don't run and don't be a dick'

HappenstanceMarmite · 31/12/2016 18:18

It's still mostly 'don't run and don't be a dick'
😂😂😂
My new hero, Pagwatch

justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 18:20

don't run and don't be a dick
Amazing .Best parenting advice ever right there :)

zzzzz · 31/12/2016 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Electrolens · 31/12/2016 18:41

We always did the weekly supermarket shop as a family when I was little (one of three). Dad drove and mum didn't but mum did the budgeting and meal planning. It was seen as a family trip to do the weekly food shop we didn't have many trips out it got me used to shopping and how food planning, lists and supermarkets worked and yes, I was probably a bit whiny sometimes but when a bit older we were given responsibility to go and get something and find the aisle and pick it up. It was just what families did together as far as I knew...

PullThePebble · 31/12/2016 18:45

I have autism, as does my dd.

Dh is our carer and needs to come.

We can't exactly leave the baby on his own so yeah, shopping turns in to a family trip.

Dh doesn't just go on his own because it's important for dd to learn how to handle public situations she'll need to deal with when older. Or she could end up like he and need constant supervision whilst out.

Unless one of us is having a melt down we must look like a pretty average family.

Didn't even cross my mind that people would be looking and judging this as odd.

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