Whole family shopping trips.....

[saltandvinegarcrisps1]

Why??? In M&S yesterday for essential reasons ( friend's birthday present) and see a family. Parent 1 pushing pram with what looked liked year old child looking miserable (parent not child). Two older DC (maybe 4 and 6) toy fighting and parent 1 says "boys, cut it out" with zero conviction. Parent 2 dashing about picking up stuff as fast as possible. Youngest child starts crying. Older two complaing they are bored, when we going home etc. Both parents look utterably miserable. Why do people do this? Why doesn't one shop and one take DCs to cafe / stay home and watch a movie/ whatever. Why subject children to this? It genuinely baffles me.

More often than not dh shops alone or we go when the dc are at school if his days off fall then (6 days on, 3 off rolling rota) because I don't drive (and before anyone says learn, if I could afford it, I would have done) but sometimes, his days off fall at the weekend and sometimes I really fancy choosing something different to the same old meals dh always chooses. As we have 4 dc aged 10 and under and absolutely no childcare or family locally to help then we all have to go along. Shit happens. Judge away - we're already judged for having more than 2, a bit of judgement because we dared to take our children to the supermarket isn't going to hurt us.

I could equally judge those who find the supermarket so torturous and miserable for not doing their shopping online like those of us who sometimes have to take their children who must never be seen or heard are supposed to but I've more interesting things in life to think about.

Unless the children are being beaten or something its just not that big a deal if they go to the supermarket for half an hour.

When I was with my ex he would always insist we all went shopping as a family. He would then proceed to choose all the items while I trailed about like a spare part trying to entertain dd. He thought I was very lucky that he cooked everything and that I was very incompetent in the kitchen I think the family outing thing and me relegated to the role of following around with dd made him feel big.

Thank God those days are over

On my own we went as a mini family until I discovered the untold joy of online shopping.

Maybe I'm a bit scarred by my experience but I'm with you OP and barring all the necessary reasons for needing to go together would personally prefer a shopping trip not to be a family outing.

Think there's a difference as well between the supermarket run that has to be done, and sometimes has to be done with DCs, and none-food shopping, like a trip to M&S - unless you are actually shopping for that child for something they need to try on (like shoes), dragging your kids round while you shop for clothes/crap that can wait, is redicuous, but you see it over and over, children being taken round the shops (not just to the supermarket and back).

No idea why anyone thinks this is a sensible use of their life.

Dinosaurs are you suggesting a parent never takes their dc to the shops unless it's for something the child needs? What do you suggest a parent does when they need to go shopping for themselves but has no available childcare?

I had to drag dh and 3dc round Tesco yesterday. We're visiting family on IOW, dh has his car that I am not insured to drive. He can't be trusted to do a proper food shop. Leaving dc with ill relatives not an option.It was hell. Ds sat in the trolley, and I sent the other three off on missions to collect 'forgotten' things from the opposite end of the store several times.

At home it's a home delivery then a midweek mooch around Aldi on my lunch break.

Wow, some ridiculously over-sensitive responses on here.

All 4 of us went into a shop on our way back from lunch out today, as we both needed to input into the purchases (and we stopped en route home).

But that doesn't stop me from seeing what the OP means.

If all the family are miserable, and the one making all the buying decisions is stressed and harassed, and the kids are playing up - and all of them being there does clog up the aisles - then, really, you do have to wonder at their all being there.

I judge it too, when the family are all clearly miserable!

Today 18:42 TheDowagerCuntess

Wow, some ridiculously over-sensitive responses on here.

Yep. Over-sensitive and ultra defensive, with drawn out, unnecessary and tedious explanations as to why the protagonists are there no one cares that you can't drive

Amusing.

The OP post was as stupid as people asking renters why they don't buy if they are not happy, or why are people staying in a job that makes them miserable.

Judging people because they look miserable, that's not even amusing. What's next? Judging people looking upset in hospital or at funerals? If you are too high and mighty for the replies, why do you bother reading them in the first place. When you criticise posters, at least make it amusing, your comments are just boring.

Thought exactly the same when I recently saw two parents take six kids into a freezer food shop just before Christmas.

I'm a single parent and hate taking my two food shopping.

It baffles me too op, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go food shopping as a whole family. My dsis does this every single weekend and drags her two sons (8 and 10) with her and bil. They invariably play up because they're bored and it ends up being stressful for the whole family. Dsis drives, they have two cars and bil works part time so could easily do this during the week. I wouldn't mind but she complains about how stressful it is.

To contrast, we went to Sainsburys yesterday to go food shopping (yes, on New Year's Day) and it was quite enjoyable. DS got out of the house and a bit of a change of scene w/o getting cold & wet (he's been a bit under the weather), & we had lunch in the cafe.

I don't really understand why that would cause such deep consternation - think it's a good thing that we're all different, personally but .

Actually, on rereading that last sentence sounds massively passive aggressive! Be as baffled as you like about other people doing stuff that's mysterious and incomprehensible to you.

slightly -clearly the OP isn't talking about a situation such as yours - where everyone's not miserable, and there isn't an obvious solution to the misery (such as one parent looking after the kids elsewhere).

The behaviour witnessed could just have easily happened in a National Trust property, on a beach, at the cinema etc ad infinitum. It's just family life, why judge??

Shopping is hell for all concerned - why drag everyone around. You only ever see frazzled parents being annoyed because the kids don't want to go into M&S. Online fgs - shopping is not a pastime.

National Trust, the beach, etc, are all outings. They're meant to be enjoyable for all.

Shopping is a chore. Or at least, it is for me. Not everyone needs to be dragged miserably around.

I need to pop to the s/m this morning.

I've just told DH I'm slipping out straight after my coffee to avoid the DC asking to come with me. All they will do is want to push the trolley, stop in the middle of the aisles, and nag me for crap.

You can make things easy on yourself, or you can make things hard on yourself.

I think your missing my point, but never mind.

I don't think I am missing the point; I just don't agree with it, as I think you're comparing apples and oranges.

I am with you OP. I really avoid taking the whole family to the shops, it's hell for all concerned. Either I go alone or DH goes. He takes a list of what to buy, it's not rocket science. Or if we are popping back from somewhere one of us will wait in the car with the kids and listen to music.

I do sometimes take them shopping during the school holidays but I much prefer not too or will online shop. I do find it weird to see whole families shopping together Saturday afternoon when the shop is rammed, everyone looking stressed, but I guess each to their own. It doesn't bother me at all, I just don't understand it.

I do occasionally take 11yr old DD shopping with me so that she can choose her own clothes and also to practice her shopping skills (no, they really don't need to learn it at 5, they honestly can pick it up quite well later on!)

Also weird to me is if you go to large shopping malls at the weekend and see whole big families there, obviously making a day of it. I can't think of anything worse but then I don't really enjoy shopping that much! I'd rather go to a park or the cinema with them.

The oddest one was during the last half term hols, I popped into a kids shoe shop with the DCs to get DS some shoes for school. However there was a whole family in there choosing shoes for two young children. Mum, dad, grandparents, and also another couple who were with them (never quite worked out who they were). So yes 6 adults. Lots of shoes being tried on, everyone having an opinion. Their kids were getting fed up. After waiting a while and my own DCs getting restless I gave up and went home! It bemused me. Maybe it was their idea of a family outing?

But as others have said, everyone is different, I am not judging, just never understand it.

We always go shopping together with the kids.
We like it.
I don't drive.
It works for us.
And I wouldn't leave my kids for someone else to look after.

Yes, notangelina . We like shopping together too. Except on a bad day, but I'd then also dislike being left behind to look after DS/having to go trudge round shop, so it's just a normal crap day then, not some terrible trial.

We used to take DS out to the 24 hr supermarket when he was a tiny baby in the "grumble each evening between X and Y oclock" stage. It seemed to entertain him better than being at home and if we were lucky he'd fall asleep on the way home.

So yes, even a tired, grumpy shopping trip can be an outing and a bit of a relief from being tired and grumpy at home. If it doesn't work for you - fine, everyone's different, but it really does work for other people.

Not read all the replies yet so sorry if I'm repeating something already mentioned.

Sometimes we all end up at the supermarket - particularly if it's quite a big shop.

I live about an 8 minute walk from a big supermarket. I don't drive. DH doesn't drive. The only way to get shopping home is to carry it. Unless I want to go to the shop 3 times a week I need an extra pair of hands to help carry all the stuff home as tins/ drinks / potatoes etc are heavy. I do sometimes split my shop into several smaller ones as I like shopping on my own but then I feel like I am never out of the bloody place.

Also when DD was small and still in the pram we did need 2 of us to go as I couldn't push a trolley and a buggy at the same time. I couldn't not take a buggy as she was too small to walk and I did try baby wearing but it didn't work so well for us as I had back pain for ages after childbirth and I found it difficult and painful. I did use online shopping on occasion but got sick of the inappropriate substitutions / out of stock items that happened every single time. At least if I went I could choose an alternative that was suitable.