Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

Whole family shopping trips.....

199 replies

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 13:19

Why??? In M&S yesterday for essential reasons ( friend's birthday present) and see a family. Parent 1 pushing pram with what looked liked year old child looking miserable (parent not child). Two older DC (maybe 4 and 6) toy fighting and parent 1 says "boys, cut it out" with zero conviction. Parent 2 dashing about picking up stuff as fast as possible. Youngest child starts crying. Older two complaing they are bored, when we going home etc. Both parents look utterably miserable. Why do people do this? Why doesn't one shop and one take DCs to cafe / stay home and watch a movie/ whatever. Why subject children to this? It genuinely baffles me.

OP posts:

PullThePebble · 31/12/2016 18:48

Or maybe non obvious disabled people should just stay at home out of everyone's way and online shop.

switswoo81 · 31/12/2016 18:48

I do all the cooking and food., dh does all the cleaning/laundry . supermarket used to be a lovely stroll by myself now after recent back surgery I can't lean into trolley or carry bag so dh and toddler dd are brought too. It's a feckin dose having them there! And dh feels the same way!

Graphista · 31/12/2016 19:01

"it's one of the things that I really don't like about the UK compaired to most places abroad!"

The U.K. Is really strange on this, the filthy looks you get if you DARE take even a very well behaved child anywhere but somewhere designated as a 'family' place!

I'm stunned at such an anti-child thread on a PARENTING forum weird!

Had just wrote that then read:

"And the rest of us are entitled to comment/observe on how un child-friendly the UK is where kids should only be seen in designated "family friendly" areas and not considered part of ordinary every day life/society. No wonder by the time they're teens so many UK teenagers feel disenfranchised !" Absolutely!!

Children of all ages ARE part of society too, frankly it's the ones moaning who should shop online!

MycatsaPirate · 31/12/2016 19:07

Look I don't think anyone minds children just shopping with their parents. I certainly don't. I used to take my dc all the time when I was a single parent because I had no choice.

The difference between me and some of the kids I saw today is that mine were given a job to do. So we had a list and one would read it and tick things off and the other would help put things in the trolley off the list.

They were never allowed to just roam the aisles randomly, play on scooters, skates or those bloody heelies things or swing off fridge doors/climb shelves.

I have had a kid run round a corner before and run straight into my trolley, smacking his head and falling over bawling his eyes out. Mother appeared 2 minutes later and started lambasting me for 'not looking where I was going'.

It's parents and kids like that I have an issue with. And doddering husbands who linger in the middle section of Lidl trying to sneak drills and chainsaws in with the bread and milk.

Binkybix · 31/12/2016 19:08

We must be weirdos because we love doing the big shop all together. I'm sure as the kids get older they'll stop loving the supermarket, but they like it now. We try to ensure they don't clog up the aisles.

I actually feel a bit sad because I admit it's not the best use of time for me to come too, so it's going to stop in the New Year.

I wouldn't want to clothes shop with them though.

bunnylove99 · 31/12/2016 19:19

Oh well. At least they can afford to do their food shop in M&S. That must be nice for them.

zzzzz · 31/12/2016 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerylPeril · 31/12/2016 19:28

I don't think OP is talking about food shopping.
I think with M&S she was probably talking about sales shopping

Go into any town during the holidays and there are parents dragging kids around with loads of Primark bags - it's thought of as an activity
It's not

woodhill · 31/12/2016 19:34

What about the extended families where there are aunts, grandmother plus dc etc all in the way when you are trying to look in M &S sales.

MerlinWizzard · 31/12/2016 19:48

Me and DP don't drive. We have a baby and a nearly 2 year old. We all have to go shopping together as we have to walk there, and one of us pushes the trolley, whilst the other pushes the double buggy.

We try and do it as quickly as possible, but taking the buggy means we can store some bags underneath (as well as us both carrying some), which makes it easier to walk the 20 minutes home.

buckingfrolicks · 31/12/2016 19:54

anyone who chooses to go shopping with the whole family as an 'outing' is bonkers in my view. I don't mean necessary shopping trips - I mean as a 'day out'. What a paucity of imagination, if the only thing to do as a family is trawl around the shops.

cuckooplusone · 31/12/2016 20:11

We really enjoy shopping as a family, great fun and useful too. Both DH and I enjoy cooking and like to input into the shop, it's fun for the kids to help as well. I don't really get the horror of it all to be honest!

intheknickersoftime · 31/12/2016 20:35

I'm at "paucity of imagination". I can hear the judgey pants being hoiked.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 31/12/2016 23:45

If it's shopping in town, my 3 and 6 year old are much more tolerant companions than DH. After one shop he's ready for the food court, then one more then the car. The kids can handle a couple of shops between incentives of food/ toy shop/ ride on

I'll do a mix of food shopping solo or with family. When I worked, we found the most efficient way was heading out together on a Friday to go to the cafe for tea, then go round a fairly quiet supermarket. I go solo when I can as it is more efficient. DH likes to come too sometimes to stock up on things he favours or to try something new.

We were out together today as it's been our first domestic day since Christmas. It was a break from the house for all of us from a day of tidying, and food needed to be bought as it's been 10 days since my Christmas shop and I have visitors tomorrow. Normally I try off peak times for my own sanity anyway, and today wasn't too bad as we were well into the afternoon when it was quietening down.

Internet shopping doesn't work well for me due to food intolerances. I can't buy bread in my favoured supermarket, so have to go to the smaller one next door anyway which doesn't do delivery.

laidbackmummy13 · 01/01/2017 00:07

I take my two. 3 and 1. Why? Because they have to learn that jobs have to be done. And that it won't always be fun or about them. Same reason I take my dh 😂

Kids have to learn to be bored. And that sometimes they will have to be bored and how to cope with it.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 01/01/2017 00:12

Admittedly, the 3 year old did have a fail on "don't run and don't be a dick" so got incarcerated in the trolley seat for 5 minutes until he pleaded that he was going to be good again. He successfully managed from pasta sauce until the depleted toilet roll aisles when making dens apparently became a good idea.

I give him 6/10, but it's been a funny old week to be a 3 year old. It's a good job that he's got a charming smile and managed to successfully schmooze with the assistants.

MoggieMaeEverso · 01/01/2017 00:14

You're making the assumption that the shopping trip is what's causing the family to look exhausted and miserable. But actually that could be their normal. We look exhausted whatever we're doing!

TinselTwins · 01/01/2017 01:03

They should have been in the park or on the beach not strapped in pushchairs or being dragged through m&s. I think shopping is such a huge pass time in our culture now that lots of people just do it because they can't think of any other way to pass the time.

We do a big shop once a week, everyone coming and getting things that each person in the family wants/needs so that we don't have to do many top-up shops midweek. which leaves plenty of time for the park etc

You seriously think that kids who get taken shopping don't do any other activities?

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/01/2017 01:23

Glad that you and your DH love it, but I would love to hear your kids honest opinion about how much fun they find it.

unicornpoopoop · 01/01/2017 08:30

I always take my kids with me..

Sometimes husband wants to come shopping too...

Sometimes he doesn't want to be left at home on his own when he's not seen everyone all week...

Sometimes I want some company...

The kids don't get to dictate what they do and don't like doing...

The kids need to learn how to behave appropriately in public even when doing something boring.

Taking them has now resulted in my kids been perfectly well behaved, polite and well mannered whilst out, whilst other people I know that leave their kids at home, run riot and in turn need to be left at home even more..

I really don't see the problem with going out as a family

Stillwishihadabs · 01/01/2017 09:10

In the normal run of things I am definitely a solo grab and run shopper . One of the nice things about this time of year is being able to do things together at a more leisurely pace.....

justanotherusername0 · 01/01/2017 09:46

This thread just continues to judge. It's just ridiculous

MsHooliesCardigan · 01/01/2017 10:10

I get where OP is coming from. I understand that it's unavoidable for some people and that some families enjoy it but, personally, shopping with a baby and a toddler was complete torture and would leave my nerves in shreds whereas going on my own was quite enjoyable. I agree that children have to learn that boring things have to be done sometimes and that not every moment of life can be fun but I always avoided taking them with me if at all possible. I have my own memories of being bored rigid by shopping as a child and I don't think it 'taught' me anything.

tighterthanscrooge · 01/01/2017 10:18

Me and DH do the big shop together with the DDs. We don't have a car and I can't carry everything myself. We load up the pram basket then carry the rest between us. However both DDs are usually sleeping throughout the shops

DisneyMillie · 01/01/2017 10:36

If we need to go to the shops at the weekend we'll do it all together. We do plenty of fun things with the children but I don't think every minute has to or should revolve around them. They can learn to be bored / do things other people want to do. Plus my dh and I like spending our weekends together as we don't see each other much in the week - we don't hugely want to do separate stuff.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8