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Original poster

Whole family shopping trips.....

199 replies

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/12/2016 13:19

Why??? In M&S yesterday for essential reasons ( friend's birthday present) and see a family. Parent 1 pushing pram with what looked liked year old child looking miserable (parent not child). Two older DC (maybe 4 and 6) toy fighting and parent 1 says "boys, cut it out" with zero conviction. Parent 2 dashing about picking up stuff as fast as possible. Youngest child starts crying. Older two complaing they are bored, when we going home etc. Both parents look utterably miserable. Why do people do this? Why doesn't one shop and one take DCs to cafe / stay home and watch a movie/ whatever. Why subject children to this? It genuinely baffles me.

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 31/12/2016 16:06

We always went as a family. They might have been coming back from somewhere and needed to get some food in.

Rosieposy4 · 31/12/2016 16:06

Inthink there are a myriad of ways you can teach patience, tolerance nd understqnding without bowing at the door of the consumer god.

justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 16:07

Tinseltwins totally. England seems stuck in the "kids should be seen and not heard" era in quite a lot of cases.

Where's "it takes a village to raise a child?"
By which I don't just mean people helping out, I mean children being accepted willingly into society to help them learn and grow. How is a child supposed to learn how to behave in public , and share and be tolerant, if they don't do it. And doing it means they will get it wrong and learn from that.

Birdsgottafly · 31/12/2016 16:08

""I have no memory of going shopping as a small child. I come from a large family and I always stayed at home with a sibling.
When I got older (secondary) I would go out with DF to do bits of shopping/tasks/pay bills.
I certainly didn't need to go as a toddler to 'learn'.""

One of the differences is the age that we children in the house.

I can remember being left out to play and my Mum walking up the local shops, which had a Greengrocer, Butcher and Chandlers, no supermarket.

I've just taken my GC (2) and my DD (19), because like a pp, I need the pram to lean on and use.

I've found online shopping to unpredictable for special occasions and you can see a difference in the teens who've never been taken to do practical tasks and have had to get over being bored.

As for looking miserable, I'm not a smiley person, I don't do the "glossy life" on FB either.

RacoonBandit · 31/12/2016 16:09

without bowing at the door of the consumer god.

Erm you mean shopping for food, an everyday occurrence that everyone does? Confused

justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 16:09

So when we go against the thread we are told to calm down or we are being defensive for a reason. And that we have to accept others point of view ?
Well why don't you accept our point of view then?

TinselTwins · 31/12/2016 16:13

Calm down tinseltits. Have we touched a nerve?

I'm not the one ranting about other people in shops getting on my nerves here.

justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 16:14

Tinseltwins but I guess we have done something so awful by taking our kids to the shops .... That we aren't worth listening to.

haribohighcomedown · 31/12/2016 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passwordfatigued · 31/12/2016 16:18

Maybe they looked miserable because of all the judgemental looks they were getting?! I rarely take my kids shopping because it is hard on them (2 under 5) but on the rare occasion I do and they behave like they have been out round the shops for hours (rather than the 15 mins it takes to dash in and get what we need) the judgemental looks from some people is just awful (and my kids are pretty good Halo).

Trifleorbust · 31/12/2016 16:24

Children should learn that they have to come along, and behave, on some errands. Not everything revolves around the boredom thresholds of 6 year olds.

ElfingHeck · 31/12/2016 16:25

It's always hard to fathom why people do things differently from the way you do. The only thing that you can be sure of though, is that from their point of view, what they are doing makes sense.

user1471439240 · 31/12/2016 16:25

Its a polarity thing, to some people its a trip out, fun you could say, to others its a misery and the other partner is guilted or harangued into helping out - those are the face of thunder couples often spotted.

GetTheeBehindMeSanta · 31/12/2016 16:34

There's also the huge middle ground, where the majority of people fall. Shopping with the family is neither a favourite pastime nor a form of torture. It's just a thing that sometimes happens.

Footinmouthasusual · 31/12/2016 16:34

We always took our 4 and made them help with the shopping list, find items, look for the prices etc. It's educational and can be fun but equally kids do heed to know how family life works and being sat at home with a DVD ain't doing that. Kids need to live day to day life and yes it can be mundane and boring so what?

Lilaclily · 31/12/2016 16:39

We take ours sometimes because a) we might get breakfast in the cafe while we're there b) dcs might be choosing presents for friends birthdays while we're there c) we might be getting clothes for them and need them to choose, try on d) we might get want to get them out of the house and off their screens for an hour

DeleteOrDecay · 31/12/2016 16:44

We do this on occasion, I didn't realise people noticed this sort of thingConfused

Usually me or dp will go on our own but sometimes if we need to get some shopping on our way to or from somewhere else then it makes sense for us all to go rather than driving back and forth dropping people off only to come back again.

intheknickersoftime · 31/12/2016 16:46

Never realised this was a thing that upset people but I've regularly done family shopping yrips with my family (three DC).. I didn't realise it was something that people judged you on. Weird Confused

DeleteOrDecay · 31/12/2016 16:46

And also it's a good lesson for children to learn. Life can't always be fun and sometimes you have to do/endure boring things that need doing, like shopping.

DeleteOrDecay · 31/12/2016 16:48

I agree it's a very weird thing to judge someone about, especially when you can't possibly know the circumstances as to why the whole family are in the supermarket at that moment.

Aderyn2016 · 31/12/2016 16:55

My kids quite like going to the supernarket. Dd likes weighing the veg and putting the sticker on the bag and my teenagers like filling the trolley with all sorts of stuff I wouldn't ordinarily buy. It's not always the misery fest portrayed on this thread.

Although, if we are going to get arsey with people going about their lawful business of being out in public with their children, csn I please put a ban on people who block up shop doorways while nattering to the neighbour they've just bumped into, people who choose pay time at the till to fumble around for ages locating their purse, those who decide as their shopping is being scanned at the till that they need 6 other items this holding up the entire queue. Pensioners are also annoying, cluttering up the post office first thing in the morning when everyone rlse has got to get to work. I could go on. The point is people are annoying and if everyone who bugged me didn't go out, shops would be emptier. But we live with other people (children included) so have to just put up with it!

haveacupoftea · 31/12/2016 17:02

I have wondered at this myself. Nothing worse than trying to get say a block of Pilgrim's Choice in Asda but having to wait for 10 minutes because an entire family had taken over the entire cheese fridge, and they either ignore you saying excuse me and trying to squeeze in, or can't hear you over the teenage boys fighting over what kind of cheese to get, toddler throwing a tantrum about cheese strings etc.

Pain in the bloody arse.

septembersunshine · 31/12/2016 17:03

Just don't assume all family's have relatives/ friends around and can leave kids with them. We are one of thouse. 4 dc under 10, youngest 4 months. Not a grandparent or relative around within 200 miles. We never have help. Sometimes its not has simple has 'one of us wait in a cafe with some or all of the kids'. That in itself is stressful. And no, I do (but would never choose) to go around m&s with my children. I do have a weakness for Percy Pigs so I kinda have too...

needsahalo · 31/12/2016 17:03

I'm a single parent and when all three of my children were primary aged, either we all went out or we all stayed in. Nothing else for it. So sometimes it was pure misery but pure misery was at least out of the house and getting a bit of air.

Now I can leave one at home....1 down, 2 to go!

JigglyTuff · 31/12/2016 17:12

I'm a single parent and always have been. It's grim taking children out and I can't for the life of me imagine why couples feel it's necessary to take the whole family to the supermarket or shopping anywhere frankly. And yes, I do judge. It's utterly pathetic that a man can't buy the right apples or will spend the family shopping budget on beer and wotsits.

This thread is full of lame excuses.

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