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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to go skiing

369 replies

Leanback · 20/12/2016 22:58

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 20/12/2016 23:06

Why not go? I don't get it. It is clean air, gorgeous views, hot wine. Not wartorn Syria. Even if you don't want to ski, you can go up to enjoy the mountain.

Once you're there, maybe you'll feel like taking a lesson or two. Or maybe not.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 20/12/2016 23:07

No def not. If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing and they need to accept that. Not try and force you to like something just because they do.

Bloody cheek.

Tell them you've taken a shine to naked camping and hassle them to join you.

TheProblemOfSusan · 20/12/2016 23:09

Yabu because skiing is ace. Really really really really ace. Honestly, give it a whirl - I'm also massively inactive, I loved it.

I would say, get yourself in ski school all week though - they can go off and do mad stuff while you learn gently. I've had great experiences with Crystal Ski.

And if you hate it, then you're in luck - beautiful scenery, lots of bars, spas and nice places to sit and read a book. And if you go late season it's not actually all that cold, half the time they have to use canons to make more snow.

NormHonal · 20/12/2016 23:10

YANBU. I had some of this, investigated the cost and decided no bloody way! Such an expensive holiday if it's not your thing.

Original poster

Leanback · 20/12/2016 23:10

why not go?

Because a) I'm 90% sure I won't like it. I know myself, I know what I like and I know how many times I will fall over.

B) they are all really good at it and I'll be the only beginner in the group. It's not just dp and his parents it's also his sister, his aunt and uncle and his cousins. That is why I've agreed with dp that I will try it with mutual friends first so I can at least get to grips with the basics before I join the family trip.

OP posts:

Original poster

Leanback · 20/12/2016 23:12

I think people who really love skiing just don't get it. Yes I could go and take lessons but I don't really want to be on my own in the ski school all week!

OP posts:

NormHonal · 20/12/2016 23:12

When I say "expensive", I will happily spend £5k+ on a sunshine holiday that ALL the family will enjoy.

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 20/12/2016 23:14

Thing is - you don't really know if it's your thing or not.

Also, as Cote suggests, you can have a fab holiday there without actually skiing. I once went on a skiing holiday and only actually skied once or twice the whole time I was there. I did, however: drink a lot of hot chocolate, eat delicious food, get drunk, take in the beautiful scenery, enjoy wearing so snuggly clothes, build a snowman and laugh so so much. It was fab.

SanityAssassin · 20/12/2016 23:22

why not find a local dry slope here and do a few lessons to learn the basics so you can practice on the nursery slopes once you get there - might give you a bit more confidence.

Depending on your resort/location you might find plenty to occupy you without skiing - it's lovely sitting in the warm sun in the snow with a good book.

CoteDAzur · 20/12/2016 23:27

"I'll be the only beginner in the group"

As others said, you won't be skiing with them even if you do want to ski, so that is not an issue.

"That is why I've agreed with dp that I will try it with mutual friends first so I can at least get to grips with the basics before I join the family trip."

A week of skiing will not get you anywhere near their level so frankly doing that beforehand won't change anything.

They know you've never skied before. They won't expect you to ski with them. It sounds like they just want you to be part of the family holiday, which is rather sweet (and your refusal hard to understand).

Hermonie2016 · 20/12/2016 23:28

Why not try a ski slope in the UK?

I really wouldn't say no before trying it.I appreciate you feel inactive but you don't need to be super fit and can stay on the nursery slopes.
I think it's lovely they want you to come.

TheProblemOfSusan · 20/12/2016 23:29

You can go to actual snow indoors in the UK to try it - Hemel Hempstead, Manchester, Milton Keynes all have a snow dome. Cheaper than a holiday!

But yes if you want to try go with friends first if PIL are being pressury.

elephantoverthehill · 20/12/2016 23:30

I am not really sporty, I haven't been skiing in 20 years. I love it and would go at the drop of a hat if I could afford it. You sound like the old Guiness advert 'I don't like it because I have never tried it'. Most skiers are really encouraging to newbies. Why not try snowboarding instead?

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2016 23:33

I'm a shit skier. Only one on the nursery slopes when all my friends are on blacks or whatever. I still bloody love it. Best holiday ever. I would really recommend you try it. Worst that can happen is you go in the first day and don't like it, then spend the rest of the week enjoying apres ski and walking or ehatever.

shinynewusername · 20/12/2016 23:38

YANBU - I'm a pretty good skier because I because we lived in various countries around the Alps when I was a child. I don't mind ski-ing for the weekend - but the British obsession with paying vast amounts to spend an entire week throwing themselves repeatedly down the same few runs leaves me totally cold - pun intended

Yes, it's nice being in the mountains but I can think of 100s of things I'd rather do with a week off. Don't feel pressured into ski-ing if you don't want to, OP.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 20/12/2016 23:39

I hate skiing. You're basically being assaulted by snow.

Hideous.

Footinmouthasusual · 20/12/2016 23:39

Oh completely agree with you op couldn't bloody stand it.

Hate snow, hate dressing warm and my holidays are by the pool or sea and warm resting.

'Oh but you would love the Apre ski' or whatever the bores proclaim! Er no it's just a pub isn't it really twats.

We sent all our 4 on the school ski trips so they can jog along with the pretentious ones if needed.

Just tell them 'actually no you actually grew up from sledging aged 10 don't find snow attractive and would be bored rigid!

Original poster

Leanback · 20/12/2016 23:39

I'll look into trying it on an indoor slope here.

I know it probably sounds really miserable but I'm just sick of feeling pressurised by them about it. The last couple of years I genuinely couldn't go because of university and they still tried to convince me and fil moaned to dp about it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Leanback · 20/12/2016 23:41

Also my own mother has told me I will hate it and she knows me better than anyone

OP posts:

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 20/12/2016 23:42

You shouldn't be pressurised to do anything you don't want to. I can't believe so many people on this thread are saying just go. If you don't want to, don't be bullied by anyone.

shinynewusername · 20/12/2016 23:43

I'll look into trying it on an indoor slope here

Make sure that it's one with proper snow, not the older type with that netting stuff - it hurts like hell if when you fall over.

SparklyLeprechaun · 20/12/2016 23:45

I'd go. You won't actually ski with them anyway since they won't hang around on the beginners' slopes. Even if you go with friends you may not end up actually skiing with them. Just put yourself in ski school for the whole week and enjoy their company in the afternoon.

I know what you mean by not wanting to go, I went for the first time a few years ago because DH insisted he wanted the kids to learn. I thought it wasn't my thing at all and tbh I'm never going to be a competent skiier but it is fun.

namechangedtoday15 · 20/12/2016 23:47

As others have said its probably because they want you to be a part of their holiday and there are very few people who go skiing who don't actually enjoy it and perhaps they think if its a passion for your DP it could become a shared passion if you enjoy it.

JamButtyLand · 21/12/2016 00:01

I went in ski school for years. I always made friends, some of them I still see and keep in touch with.
I only went at first because we had to but by day 2 I was up with the larks waiting for school to start. It was like being in charge of my own roller coaster.
If you stay in a nice hotel with stuff to do and a resort that caters for non skiers you may enjoy just the chill out.
I wouldn't recommend dry slopes it's nothing like skiing on snow

Footinmouthasusual · 21/12/2016 00:09

But why should she go?

She doesn't want to! She's an adult! Her dh is cool with her not going so why does she have to holiday to please her inlaws?

Mental.

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