To not want to go skiing

[Leanback]

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

Go and then don't ski if you don't want to, you can just chill out with hot chocolates and books ;) However, I am not a very active person at all, but skiing is THE ONLY sport I enjoy. Then again I've grown up with it since I was about 2 (Norwegian), so I can't not like it :P

As others have said, the skiing is a bit of a red herring. It's the whole holiday that sounds grim to the OP.

I have been on two 'skiing' holidays with my family, and am heading off again in February. They are heaven. But, I had one ski lesson and hated it so much I've not strapped on a ski since. It is all the things I hate in one, and I realised that I just needed to accept that. But my holidays are glorious. Kids are in ski school or kids club, my husband (crucially) isn't fussed about skiing either, so we read books, I go to the spa and he potters, we've gone walking and snow-shoeing (LOVE that), we eat delicious food. We've been with friends with kids, and they do ski, but we meet in the evenings for dinner and chat, and the kids play together. But WE choose the resort and hotel, WE spend time together having fun, and WE get the most amazing rest while the children learn to ski (and enjoy it a lot). The ski element is incidental really. The OP is being pressured into a whole holiday she doesn't like the sound of, which centres around an activity she doesn't want to do. Even if she went, had a ski lesson and found it was quite fun, she's still stuck with a bunch of people behaving in a way she finds trying, and skiing alone.

Ah - apologies. He's def a keeper then. It sounds like this "battle" is almost over. Stand your ground together.

The whole thing sounds very odd if he and his father have the kind of relationship where they stop speaking for a month, but they all go on family holidays together.

LeanBack going on your username, you won't be any good at skiing!!

Hate ski bores who wang on about it like religious zealots. I skied when I was younger - we have family in Scandinavia, so none of the apres-ski (as a PP said - 'pub' - and EXPENSIVE pub at that!) bollocks. But I have no desire to spend thousands of pounds on being cold, wet and at risk of breaking bones. It just doesn't appeal to me as a holiday - either going as a couple or a family.

Taking kids skiing is the most labour-intensive way to spend a week I can think of. Reapplying suncream fades into insignificance compared to layers and layers, wet woolies, boots you can't walk in, carrying your skis, their skis, poles, helmets, goggles, gloves they can't get their fingers into, falling over and losing a glove, toes getting cold and whining, and that's before you even get on the bloody lift! Then it's coughing up 20 bucks for a shitty 'kids meal special' (crap schnitzel with chips and an orange squash - nutritious), back out for more of the same and then getting drunk at night - - so repeat, but on a hangover.

FUCK THAT.

I'm so grateful that OH's ExW is going out with a German geezer - they take all their collective kids off on ski trips... so we don't have to!

We focus on the sunshine holidays. Give me a coral reef, a mask and fins (and ideally full scuba gear), turtles, rays, maybe even whalesharks... now you're talking.

But... I don't wang on about how diving is the MOST AMAZING THING EVER IT'S AMAZING YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO COME WITH US ON A LIVEABOARD FOR A WEEK, DO IT DO IT DO IT COME IF YOU DON'T COME YOU HAVEN'T LIVED.. because I'm not a twat. Your DPs family need to wind their collective necks in IMO.

DH was keen for us to go with a group of school friends (big group) and partners. No children

I have no interest in snow/skiing. I am terrified of heights and falling.
It was actually his best friend who said I shouldn't go and it wasn't fair to ask me as everyone else could ski - so I would be on my own, he said I would have zero fun unless you were learning with someone else.

As for all the hanging around in the resort - I wouldn't do that on any holiday, I like to be out and about on holiday - reading books and spas and sitting drinking hot chocolate sounds like a total waste of time to me.

YANBU: I love skiing but I'm rubbish at it (like a blue or a green run). I can't add more than what others have said but if you don't fancy it, you don't fancy it.
I also love a sun holiday so it's tricky but as others have said the holiday without the skiing is also fab, just the fresh air, mountains, scenery and warm log fires with nice food and wine.
Would you not just suck it up just once, not go skiing but just go on the trip and have a few massages, go up on the ski lift and meet them for lunch up the mountains etc. You might find you enjoy the holiday, even if you don't do any skiing whatsoever (although if it were me I'd do one 1 to 1 lesson on the baby slope so no one can ever say you didn't try and then you'll KNOW you don't like skiing rather than thinking you don't or having your mother tell you won't - has she ever skied incidentally?).
Part of me thinks that this is a bit of a power struggle, whereby if you go along, they'll have won, in a sense. Just go, bring plenty of good books you've been meaning to read, bring your ipad/Netflix, bikini for the inevitable hot tub and think how much worse life could be than a week in the alps..

I absolutely love skiing - YANBU OP though - if it's not your bag, don't do it. Why do people do this?

This is not really about skiing, it is really about going on holiday with your dp's family who you are not confortable being with (understandably). Would you go on a week seaside hol with them?
If you see it for what it is you may be able to make your decision without feeling bad.

Skiing is great fun but imo it is a sport that can cause a bit of anxiety if you learn it as adult (like riding etc). You certainly don't want to be with uncaring people when you try it out.
So, do go skiing with your friends, you might enjoy it without the pressure and without feeling you have to like it.

Don't waste your money on something you probably won't enjoy, skiing is super expensive and I don't see the point in forking out thousands to sit in a cabin drinking hot chocolate with snow surrounded...

DH and I use to ski a lot when we lived near the mountains in southern NZ (mainly pre kids), we lived there for 15 years and I really enjoyed the skiing at the time, now I haven't been skiing in over a decade since we moved to the coast and tbh I don't miss it.

Now it's too expensive and to much off a faff (drive up the mountain, get your ski gear on)

It's an awful lot cheaper to watch Netflix without leaving home. It's also possible to find spas in the UK without getting on a plane. Chalets and hotels don't all have log fires.

The only thing you really get in a ski resort that you don't get regularly in most of the UK is snow.

I don't get the 'go and sit around reading and drinking hot chocolate' posts.
Why would you pay money to sit around on your own all day?
You can do that at home for free.

Just seen your reply to me OP - it makes more sense now . It's not so much a skiing issue as a DP family holiday issue.
Totally get your point that parents/parents in law can be very stuck in their ways and controlling sometimes.
My case is quite different to yours - my PIL have contributed a lot to our ski holidays and there is no pressure to ski, drink or wear silly hats!
I asked about the resort because it can make a huge difference. Some resorts are purpose built concrete places with access to amazing skiing, but not much charm. The resort we go to is first and foremost a pretty Alpine village. We go there in the summer too - there is so much more there than mountain activities.

Whether you'd have a lesson whilst you were there or just sit in the cafe's drinking hot chocolate the fact is you don't want to go skiing. You don't have to go for family, you don't have to try it and see, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Would you put your hand in the fire if they begged you? no, just say a definite no and its never going to happen.

Last year one of his cousins brought a hat along with 'Dick of the Day' written on it for the person who had embarrassed themself the most that day.

They all sound like cunts. Your DP sounds lovely though. Perhaps his parents took the wrong baby home from hospital

Give it a go OP. if you go into beginners classes you wont be with them as they will be off up the mountain. It can be a great laugh learning and the other people in the class will be at the same level as you. and as the other posters say, the atmosphere is great and I love all the people watching too.
We're going next week. I dont really want to go this year as would rather sit on beach but OH and kids love it. I might only do 3 days and spend the other days chilling with mulled wine and people watching.

YANBU.

I have been ski-ing three times and will not go again.
I have decided that I don't like the cold, the heights, feeling out of control on ski slopes, chair lifts, button lifts...

No amount of hot chocolate or mulled wine will make me go back. I spent a lot of time waiting to hear about what a super time every one else had.

I just don't understand people who won't give things a go. Fair enough to have a good go at trying it and then say it's not for you, but to have decided you don't like it without even trying is a bit childish IMO.

But OP hasn't refused to try skiing, trixy (though I think fair enough if she has - it's a big gamble to have an expensive holiday on the off-chance you like it!), she's saying she doesn't want to do it in this particular context. I think she's got a fairly good idea of what this family ski holiday would be like, so she's really not just saying no to the unknown.

The OP has said she would like to try skiing.

What she doesn't want to do is spend lots of money going on holiday with her in laws to try skiing.

Also, you don't have to do everything. I will never jump out of an aeroplane or go pot holing. Given the choice I wouldn't go on a diving holiday, not because I hate diving but because I only have so much time and money and would rather do something else.

She's said she will give it a go, but has decided she won't like it before she even tries. That's the childish bit.

Committing to the expense and trouble of a holiday you are reasonably sure you won't like, with people who don't sound very nice is not the same as being asked to try a brussels sprout

I 100% recently mend doing a short course of lessons in the uk. Ideally in a snow dome but dry slope if you're not near one.
THEN you can tell dps family that either a) you hate it or b) you are ready to go but you still won't be zooming around with the black run skiers. In any big group there's often those who ski slower and have more hot chocolate breaks. Suss this out first.
Ski holidays are great though - even if you ski separately the meals and evenings are great fun.

Is it the skiing or the family holiday you arent keen on?

Why Trixy? I don't ski, sail, or get hurled into the sky in a plane without an engine, all of which are Dh's hobbies. I have sailed, but ended up cooking all weekend in return for not standing watches or changing sails. I don't ski as my knees, ankles and back wouldn't cope, and I have an auto immune problem which precludes contact sports or bumping myself, as the bruises are widespread and technicolor. I don't fly in anything without an engine, a toilet or coffee.

I don't like snow or being cold, or hurtling downhill, so why would I do those things in combination, which is effectively what skiing is. If I don't like things separately, why would I like them together? I think the OP can decide what she does and doesn't like. As an extreme example, I don't want to be tortured, as I don't like pain, but according to you, that's childish, and I should try it.