To not want to go skiing

[Leanback]

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

God I hate ski bores.

I used to ski a lot, then I went on a 3 week ski holiday and I swear it nearly broke my spirit.

I also skied in Korea and got knocked over so bad on the black slopes that my one of my ski poles got broke.

The straw that broke the camels back though was skiing in Scotland. It was pretty much a whiteout and you couldn't see the edge of the runs. I was relieved to get to the bottom. When I did a small child skidded down in front of me and fell over. I went and helped him sort his skis and get him up. Not a word of thanks then he hoisted them on his shoulder, spinned around and smacked me in the head with them.

I don't ski anymore.

Ski school is great, you wouldn't be stuck there all week - it's a social experience as well as learning.

OP I'm exactly like you. DHs family keep saying that we should all go and I dread it. Luckily they're all crap at organising anything so I know it'll never happen.
An exercise and drinking holiday sounds like actual hell. However conversely, a holiday where everyone leaves me alone all day while I read books and go to bed early sounds amazing. Can you go and just be really ' boring' so they don't ask you again?

You might find sci school great Mrsc but telling someone who doesn't enjoy that type of activity and that type of socialising that they would or should enjoy it is pretty tiresome.

Imagine you've decided that you don't want to take up yoga but someone keeps telling you that you would if you tried it but you've experienced being in an exercise class before, stretching, meditating, and didn't enjoy them- wouldn't you expect to be taken at your word that you know you wouldn't enjoy yoga? Same with skiing. Don't have to do it to know it's not for you. Not wanting to do it is reason enough.

No. definitely don't go and try something you've never experienced that everyone else enjoys on the basis that you 'don't think you'll like it'..

Definitely don't do that, you know theres a terrible risk you MIGHT LIKE IT..

Being somewhat less sarky, I can't ski any more and I'd still go on a snow holiday.

There is more to do than skiing, for a start.

You can learn to ski, thats an option, or board, thats another.

You can enjoy pretty scenery and hot chocolates up mountains whilst reading books and doing fuck all.

YOu get to enjoy snow in a way you NEVER do here because we never have the right KIND of snow. Skiing holiday snow is clean and dry and hard - you won't build snowmen out of it (well not unless you go off piste) but nor will you constantly fall, get wet, get cold etc etc.

There are other activities too, give them a whirl, you might like them!

I love skiing. And I began to realise that a certain boyfriend wasn't for me when he immediately said no to coming on a ski weekend with me and my friends. Because I need a 'yes' partner. One who will dive in and do stuff just to try it. I also only really love sports with a small element of danger; scuba, skiing, surfing that kind of thing.

But your partner is happy with you. He's fine that you are more cautious and introverted. And that's OK too.

However, I do agree that your best bet would be to learn to board. We skiers fucking hate that noise. Some of my best friends are boarders...

The scenery is breathtaking. The air is so clean. Even if you don't want to ski, a winter holiday in alpine regions is magical. Perhaps go on a short trip with DP somewhere just to look round, see how you feel?

I always wanted to like skiing - it seemed like such a fun thing to do! Drive up a mountain, play on chairlifts, glide down again in the fresh air...

I hated it. Well - I loved the nursery slopes and the green run. But anything else - so much no. I don't like speed, I don't like going downhill (I don't like walking downhill!!), I don't like being mildly out of control / scared of who's about to cannon into me from behind. I didn't fall over, but only because I didn't go fast enough.

I did enjoy ski school. But I wouldn't be choosing to go again for a week. Local skifield on the occasional weekend maybe.

And if you're up on a mountain and not skiing there is bugger all else to do! At least where we were - there was a basic cafe, a shop selling skiwear, another shop selling skis and lots of cold weather. I'd have been bored senseless if I'd not been trying to ski.

I think you're being a bit ridiculous and overly literal actually.

You don't have to ski!

Go on holidays to the mountains and have a few walks and enjoy time with the family.

No one will strap you to skis and shove you down a mountain.

I think you're being massively unreasonable.

Holidays are for family, you don't have to go skiing just because it's a "skiing holiday". Just go for the mountain air, blue skies, sunshine, beautiful scenery, a mountain walk or two, and a few massages?

You can meet up with your partner's friendly family and be sociable, can't you? You sound fixated about the skiing but there's so much more to a family holiday in the mountains than hurtling down a mountain on a couple of sticks.

I have been skiing a few times as my husband really likes it, but I agree with a pp and absolutely hate the ski bores. I also don't get the "just enjoy the après ski and the beautiful surroundings" it is just like a boring beach holiday in the snow.

I think you're being a bit ridiculous and overly literal actually.

*You don't have to ski!

Go on holidays to the mountains and have a few walks and enjoy time with the family.*

Yeah, cos sitting around between 8am to 4pm on your own with nothing to do is just thrilling isn't it.

The biggest resort I've been to had a swimming pool (whoop!).

Not sure I've ever heard of too many walks either in most places. Yes, in the summer in the alps.

I get you, Leanback.
Skiing, when the rest of the group is brilliant is really shit, unless you are maga brave, maga, confident and mega sporty.

We moved toSwitzerland when I was pg, dh tried skiing and loved it. Next year I was BF and baby clingy, dh went skiing, I looked after dc. etc etc plus another 2 dc. Roll on when I finally am no longer pg or bf .... dh is really good. I'm a total beginner. I was terrified. I didn't enjoy it. I think if we had both been beginners together it would have been different. But it wasn't the case, He was a proficient and confident skier, I wasn't. It was a total mismatch.

Now all my dc are great skiers. Luckily we live close enough (40 minutes drive) to enable day trips, but we are going for a few days over Christmas. I'm taking our dog and plan a few days enjoying good books and my dog's company while the all go off skiing.

I think you're right that you would enjoy it more with other learners. And the family should respect your wishes. But I have to say, being in the mountains is utterly magical and amazing.

ps just read your "Dick of the Day" comments. No. How awful. Do not go with them! I would def hate that. They don't sound too much like they'd accommodate your beginner and odd-one-out status with too much care and consideration!

Bold fail

People are strange OP.

You sound exactly like me. I have no interest in skiing because I HAVE NO INTEREST IN SKIING. I don't know why some people get so affronted. I'm not interested in cycling holidays, sailing holidays or boring beach holidays either, so I'd never spend 2 weeks in the Caribbean staring at the horizon. I'll climb Kilimanjaro though; spend hours marvelling at wildlife on a safari; wander among ancient ruins in Jordan or Cambodia; hike on a glacier in Iceland and await the northern lights. I've done a lot of fantastic things, experienced many countries and cultures but I've never skiied and I really don't think I'm missing out - why is that so hard for some people to grasp?

I'm laughing at the suggestion that you'll be left by your DP for not being a skiier . It's perfectly possible to have hobbies and interests independently of your spouse!

You'd likely spend 8 hours a day alone, staring at the wall of a mountain lodge, wishing you hadn't given in... If they are going to France/Switzerland and it's fairly accessible, I'd possibly consider joining for an afternoon a weekend, but I'd not waste copious amounts of annual leave or money on it.

The thought of skiing makes me cold, it's not something I'd get excited about. I've tried dry slope skiing here in the UK and it was interesting at first, then very boring, but I'd certainly give real skiing a shot. But it wouldn't be on the top of my list of holidays and, like the OP, if I were to try it, it would be under conditions where I felt totally comfortable rather than because someone else has decided it's something I have to do.

I know people have pointed out that there is ski school, walking, enjoying the views etc. That's not unreasonable but I wouldn't blame the OP for not finding that particularly comforting. What if she tries the skiing and genuinely doesn't enjoy it? Welcome to a holiday of filling your days with walking and enjoying the views, before settling down for an evening of drinking games.

OP, you need to check your in-laws, or tell your partner to. I think their behaviour is weird. I'd feel embarrassed if my parents were trying to force the issue to this extent with a partner who was clearly not interested. There's a difference between asking and wanting you to go along so you can feel part of the family (sweet) and raising up fuss / complaining / trying to make you feel bad in a bid to force you to go (controlling). You're a grown woman, if it's not your thing they should just shrug their shoulders and let you take your time.

I was the same as you. Got invited on a dirt cheap trip and thought I'd hate it. It was the best thing ever. I realły surprised myself.

If you hate the skiing even just being in such beautiful surroundings is wonderful.

Sadly I will never be able to afford to go again but it was fab. Give it a go.

Make sure you stay somewhere where there are plenty of non-skiing activities available.

The extended family sound very young with the dick of the day hat? My twenties and teen kids would think that was pathetic.

so you go up and down a snow slope endless times, or you walk in the slush or you drink? All in clothes that make the slimmest look like a fattie and horrible boots. Oh and the scenery is err snowy.

Bury me now.

Skiing is one thing I would never do and no amount of bullying would change my mind. I don't like snow and I have a fear of breaking bones. I've been told there is nothing in these ski resorts for non skiers to do unless you want to sit in hot tubs, drink alcohol or hot chocolate.

Stick to your guns OP, if you don't want to go and your DP is fine about it, don't go.

Yabu because skiing is ace. Really really really really ace.

No it isn't. I've been on three skiing holidays, had lessons, made serious attempts to enjoy it but I didn't.

Glad you enjoy it, but it really isn't for everyone.

It's the pressure and the bullying. They're not listening to you. No means no.

I also would not want to go on holiday with dh's family, even to somewhere amazing, as they would suck all joy out of it.

It's too much, and disrespectful. Stick to your guns.

Make sure you stay somewhere where there are plenty of non-skiing activities available

But then that means the OP having to amuse herself most days alone.

And that would be better done at home, where there are also Spas, hot tubs, beauty salons and gyms, plus friends and home comforts.

I'd go. Book private lessons so no having to mingle with ski school people. Then go for a few runs with your DP after lunch then mooch back to the hotel. You being there means DP can get out of the forced family fun and you can do your own thing.

I'm a "meh" skier. I don't love it but don't hate it either. But the views and the fresh air are lovely.

Do not attempt to ski with your DP's family though. Nothing more demoralising than skiing with excellent skiers.

I hate skiing. I live in Norway right beside a large resort, so I have had plenty of opportunities to check it out before reaching that conclusion.

I haven´t skied for years and I wouldn´t care if I never did again, tbh. On the other hand, I am perfectly happy to watch other people ski, ride up and down the lifts and look at the view, eat waffles in the various cafés, and read a book in the sun wall.

The after-ski stuff you describe sounds hideous to me. No way would I want to be part of drinking games with a silly hat.

So in conclusion, I think you should keep saying no to the skiing, OP, but if you are a person who likes your own company and would be happy spending time alone, then consider going along for the trip. But stay somewhere else from the rest of them to avoid the après ski.

If you don't want to, then don't. All I'd say is, if you have one to one lessons enough that you can pootle around by yourself for a few afternoons, skiing is ideal for an introvert like yourself (not the après ski, that is loud and extroverted, but you can skip that part). It's calm, beautiful, meditative and you can spend most of the week alone if you want to.

Ski school, though, is horrid. Lessons all the way.