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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go skiing

369 replies

Leanback · 20/12/2016 22:58

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

OP posts:
Footinmouthasusual · 21/12/2016 06:40

she doesn't want to fucking go she knows she will be bored rigid and as an adult woman she can say no

Ffs.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 21/12/2016 06:42

I hated skiing and there is not enough for non skiers to do all day in most resorts. Was the most boring holiday of my life!

OhTheRoses · 21/12/2016 06:49

If you should suck up their feelings for the sake of family, perhaps they should suck up yours for the sake of you. We are all individuals and mutual respect didn't hurt. You don't stop your dh going, that's great and they shouldn't go on and on about you going when you don't want to.

I was persuaded to go once with an old boyfriend. I don't like heights. I hated it. The rest of the week was frankly awful with ging ho types trying to persuade me to go back up and elling me how great it was.

DH took DS when he was six and they learnt together. DH had never had the opportunity to go. They loved it and still go every year. DD is nervous on escalators - go somewhere a little warmer and more suited to us that week.

YANBU.

Footinmouthasusual · 21/12/2016 06:59

Totally Roses it's incredibly beyond selfish for people who really have a passionate hobby to not understand that other people know they would be bored rigid doing it.

I have never scuba dived or pole danced but know neither is for me.i really don't need to try everything to tell me that now I am not 6!

its so bad mannered to not regard the feeling of another adult to such an extent that you constantly bully them into agreeing with you and doing something they know they would hate.

BikeRunSki · 21/12/2016 07:00

I love skiing, I really love it, and am v sad that we haven't been able to afford to go since we had the dc. However, I am very outdoorsy, and would happily live in a tent.

If you're not outdoorsy, then skiing is unlikely to be for you (and FWIW, I hate the Apres Ski, hate crowded bars). It's not a cheap holiday, so I'd stick to your convictions.

My in laws and DH are similarly enthusiastic about cricket and all troop off to Headingley, Lord's etc and even NZ, Sri Lanka and India, several times a summer. With a cool bag of unappealing sandwhiches and a flask of tea. I have been on occasion - despite my better judgement- and got soaked one day, and sunburnt the next. But at least it was only a weekend, and only 30 miles away. Despite many explanations I still don't understand, or care about, silly mid offs, boundaries, ducks and sixes and they have finally accepted that I am not going again, however much beer they buy me!

The British obsession with spending a whole week skiing, is because we have nowhere handy for most in the UK with reliable snow to pop to for a day or weekend cheaply or easily. If you have to fly/ferry/Eurostar you need to stay a while to make it worth it!

I agree that artificial skiing - whether on snow or bristles - is nothing like the real thing.

InsultingTheAlligator · 21/12/2016 07:04

My DH loves sailing. LOVES it. I get sea sick. Pretty much every holiday for 13 years has been a sailing holiday - Cowes week, Cork week etc.

I go along. Because he sails and I potter soak in the sights enjoy the after sailing social life. I take loads of books. I have met great peopleand made great friends.

I'd say go once. You dont have to ski. But clearly your ILS want to share what they love with you. Take books, read, watch tv, rest and relax in glorious scenery. That sounds like a good holiday to me!

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 07:06

Don't go OP.

I wouldn't expect my OH to join me on a yoga retreat, he would laugh if I asked him.

You are an adult and old enough to know what you may enjoy.

blueistheonlycolourwefeel · 21/12/2016 07:08

I went skiing years ago. I know lots of people like it, but I HATED it. I'm scared of steep slopes and spent every morning in the toilet with diarrhoea because I was so scared. I gave up after 48 hours and spent the rest of the holiday sat in different restaurants reading books and eating nice food. That bit was nice, but it was an expensive way todo it!!
Why don't you send your husband skiing and ask a friend to go somewhere you're interested in?

Lorelei76 · 21/12/2016 07:14

Don't go
Btw how are you with cold? Mate of mine went skiing to,please her DH, she said the worst thing was being shit freezing a lot of the time. She is quite athletic and learned okay but found it dull.

DeepanKrispanEven · 21/12/2016 07:20

I was going to say go but don't necessarily ski, just for the experience of going to wherever it is - I did a rail tour in winter in Switzerland a couple of years ago and loved the whole experience, without ever going anywhere near a ski. But then I read about the drinking games and thought no, maybe you're right to stay away. Unless they'd be OK with you escaping with a good book in the evenings?

Footinmouthasusual · 21/12/2016 07:21

Yes but if she goes and doesn't ski can you imagine the hat those twatty extended family members will make for her?

They all drink to excess to after the going up and down a snow slope all day doing exactly the same thing for hour after hour.

Don't go op stick to your guns.

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 07:23

deepan- so the OP spends all day alone then "escapes with a good book" in the evenings?

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 07:25

I think it's time for the OPs OH to put on his big pants here.

He has no issue with the OP not going, and it is unfair of his family to continue this pressure.
He knows his own parents better than the OP, I think it's only fair that he should speak to them and make the situation clear.

Unwrapped · 21/12/2016 08:10

I hate skiing but love ski holidays. Make sure they choose a resort with spas, shops, cafes, walks, cable car rides (that go down as well as up) and things like tobagonning and ice-skating. There's no need to ski.

lastqueenofscotland · 21/12/2016 08:15

I "go skiing" every year but can't remember when I actually last skiied. I always have a good trip though!

lastqueenofscotland · 21/12/2016 08:15

Basically ditto unwrapped

allegretto · 21/12/2016 08:18

YANBU. I hate it. Went once to please dh. Had a terrible accident that resulted in a lot of pain and a permanent disability! HOWEVER I love the mountains! I would go if it is a resort where you can go trekking, snowshoeing etc. Mind you for us skiing is quite cheap as we are about 4 hours drive away from good slopes.

allegretto · 21/12/2016 08:20

Unwrapped- am I missing something? Surely all cable cars go down as well as up? (Imagining a huge pile of redundant cable cars on top of mountain...)

Original poster
Leanback · 21/12/2016 08:21

I know all the comments about 'choosing the right resort' mean well but I will have absolutely no say in which resort they choose.

The hat really is awful. Dp hates that side of things but puts up with it because his family enjoy it and they are sometimes the kind of people where it's easier to get along with.

it is getting to the point where it feels quite controlling to be honest. Like I said previously they are very disparaging towards new experiences which don't appeal to them.

There are so many places in the world I want to visit and explore and activities I want to try. Skiing just isn't one of them.

OP posts:
Jydel · 21/12/2016 08:23

I've been on three skiing holidays and not skiied (I have a knee replacement!). It is wonderful. The air, the snow, it's beautiful. I think you are really missing out. You could have a few lessons in a ski school?

phoenix1973 · 21/12/2016 08:26

I'm the opposite. We were toying with skiing over Christmas but too expensive so as usual, for past 20 years, we are having in laws for Christmas Day.
Would have preferred skiing (and I'm not a good skier). I just love the physical activity, gorgeous air, amazing scenery, the silence as you climb higher on the chairlift, hot chocolate with brandy halfway up a mountain and sweet wine.😍👍🏻

merrymouse · 21/12/2016 08:28

I think it's unfair to put pressure on you to go on holiday with his parents whether it's skiing or an all inclusive hotel in the Canary Islands.

I love skiing, but some people don't. I think the idea of trying skiing with friends before skiing with the in laws is definitely the way to go.

KinkyAfro · 21/12/2016 08:28

I'm with you Leanback, it's just not my thing either. DP goes quite a bit with his family and he doesn't understand why I don't fancy it but it just does appeal. I don't like the cold, I'd rather spend my money on a sun holiday so he's goes skiing with his family, I go somewhere hot with mine.

Kids at school could never understand why I didn't go on the ski trips, they thought it was lack of money but it was that I just didn't want to go. I get fed up with all the "just give it a try" comments, it's not something I will ever change my mind about. If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

TheProblemOfSusan · 21/12/2016 08:34

I've changed my mind. Skiing is great, I encourage you to give it a go either with friends or on an indoor slope - and if you go and still hate it then you have ammunition forever about not going.

But playing drinking games over the age of 23? And that thing with that? NOPE. I wouldn't ever want to go on holiday with people who behaved like that.

(also I have never understood the point of going in an expensive activity holiday then making yourself too hungover to enjoy the activity. And skiing is a bit like driving in that you don't really want to be doing it if you're still drunk from the night before, reflexes, etc.)

TheProblemOfSusan · 21/12/2016 08:35

*the thing with the hat