To not want to go skiing

[Leanback]

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

Yanbu. I went once to try it. I knew I would hate it and I did. Friends who love it have been trying for years to get me to go again - apparently I would still enjoy the mountains even if I didn't ski. No thank you, especially as it is so expensive. I can only afford one holiday a year and I don't intend to spend it being freezing cold looking at the snow.

I don't see why it's a problem if they just agree to go without you. Surely they wouldn't like it if you were there not enjoying yourself? Or maybe it's better to go once, and if you don't like it then you can be very firm that you gave it a go but don't want to do it again.

I find it really bloody annoying when someone has a hobby and they really really can't seem to understand that it's ok for them but boring as fuck for others.

My sil is an avid skier and bores us all with the apres ski frolics! It's a fucking alpine pub live not a magical kingdom.

Don't get me started on the Disney bollocks.

YABU it's fantastic! I thought I'd hate it, I hate the cold. Grudgingly went along to shut DP up, expecting to never go again. Loved it! Granted, I did spend a large amount of the first week on my ass.... but everyone was a beginner at some point

I've given ski-ing a really good go but I just do not like it. (Been several times, especially when younger/single and then again later on family holidays with DC.
It's cold, it's windy, the gear is a real pain ( especially carrying skis and poles while trudging along in v. uncomfortable boots). And when the weather's bad it's awful. Ski-school is cold and boring too.
It's also fucking scary. (I learned to ski on Ice and that fucking hurts when you land on it.) And I can't get up easily when I fall down.
Yes, you don't have to actually ski, and if you like walking it may be OK. but other than that there's not a great deal to do, except gaze at the scenery or prop up the hotel bar waiting for the skiers to come back at the end of the day. If that floats your boat, fine.
These days DH goes skiing with his mate and I take myself off to a spa, which I enjoy very much. So please don't be presssured into going except on your terms, which sound eminently sensible.

Sometimes you just have to take one for the team and like previous posters have said you would get lovley views, beautiful scenery ect personally id jump at the chance and as i cannot ski to save my life id certainly give it a go even if i ended up cannon balling down the mountain.

YANBU, I fucking hate skiing! I do so much else - horse riding, shooting, off roading, cross county running etc etc, but skiing was the worst week of my life!

AIBU.

You won't know whether you like it or not if you never try it.

Skiing is one of my favourite things in the world to do, and I'm not an overly active person (never liked group sports etc).

Since you won't be skiing with them (as others have suggested, a week of skiing won't get you up to their level), I would find another friend who's never been before, so that you can hang with them while the rest of the group is off.

And by AIBU I mean YABU. Time for me to have some lunch, I think!

I do think that if you have in mind that you're going to hate it, it's more likely that you will. It's confirmation bias.

I can't really invite a friend of mine alone on my dp's family holiday.

It's not just that I'm not active. I've always been the kind of person who hates getting hurt. The moment I fell and went ow would be the moment I quit. I'd then be in a foul mood because that's who I am. I'm not really an adrenaline junkie, I won't like having restricted movement and carrying the gear. I can undrrstand perfectly why for some people it's fun and enjoyable. I just do not believe I will be one of those people.

I am an introvert and not a huge drinker. I don't know dp's extended family that well, and I find small talk quite draining physically so going away with basically strangers for a week will take it out on me. It also means it's doubtful I will 'make friends in the ski school' because it's just not in my personality too.

From what dp has told me his extended family get quite wild and do lots of drinking games in the evening which again is not my cup of tea. Last year one of his cousins brought a hat along with 'Dick of the Day' written on it for the person who had embarrassed themself the most that day. For some people I'm sure they would find that hilarious however it just makes me uncomfortable.

I've been away for weekend breaks with dp's (immediate family) before so it's not about snubbing the family holiday. If we were invited to their holiday in the summer I'd love to go, but we aren't.

Honestly the more posters try to convince me to go the more I'm realising how little the whole thing appeals. Saying 'yabu because I love skiing' just isn't enough to convince me.

God reading my post back I sound like the biggest bore. I promise I'm not

Leanback turn it into a mission of getting to know the family inside out.

Why should you go? And people telling to that you won't even be doing with them isn't likely to be making it more appealing-what's the point of you won't even be with them most of the time every single day- you might as well not been with them not skiing and somewhere where you want to be like home then, surely?

I'm sporty, have been skiing, still wouldn't want to go.

Why waste all that time, and money, doing something to don't want to do, somewhere you don't want to be, mostly on your own combined with with someone elses family? Waste of a holiday if you ask me. And I would find their insistence a bit rude.

You sound just like my brother's ex girlfriend! (Who I absolutely love, but who is afraid of being bad at anything so would prefer not to try new things...)

When I met my DH, I pretty much had to learn to ski because his family all love it. I don't think he would have married me if I hadn't been willing to try it! I know you say your DP doesn't mind you not going. But what about if you have kids in the future? Will you stay at home while everyone else goes skiing?

It's absolutely fine to hate something once you've tried it - but silly to assume you will hate something just because of preconceptions you have. (I assume your mother has actually been skiing herself?)

You don't have to be sporty, an adrenaline junkie or a drinker in order to enjoy skiing.

Do you know which resort they are going to?

Oh dear. Your later post about the type of holiday they like (and sounds like quite a lot of people involved) would make it a definite no for me too, it can be really tiresome to have to go around mob-handed all the time on holiday.
When we go away with friends we always agree that we're not all joined at the hip, people can go off and do their own thing whenever they want and no-one will get all bent out of shape about it.
Enforced jollity is ghastly.

Ugh. Cold and slidey. Drinking games. Hat. It'd be a world of no here too.

Leanback The worst case is that eventually your dp becomes distant and as a result he finds another lady who is more sociable ?

enid I'm actually say I'm more open to new things than they are (and do agrees with me on this). I love his parents but they are definitely the kind of people who think their way of doing things is the best way and don't understand the appeal of stuff they haven't tried.

Dp genuinely doesn't mind, and says he absolutely does not want me to be pressurised into something I don't want to do. He doesn't really enjoy the drinking/party side of it even though he's far more extroverted than I am.

I was thinking this earlier about when I had kids and I would feel differently if it was just myself dp and our children going. I do think so would want our kids to learn and experience it and I wouldn't want to stop that from happening. This is partly why I want to go with friends. I know I'm probably going to make an ass of myself whilst skiing so would much rather I did it in front of people I felt comfortable with than in front of people I hardly knew or entirely by myself.

And yes my mother has been skiing.

Nice, Global. So helpful. Did that happen to you? (head tilt)

global

Leanback My apologies if i was a bit forward with my comment, i should of phrased it as a worst case possibility looking forward eg a few years from now.

Although i can see how my comment came across as quite blunt i sincerely apologies for it.

No worries

OP - I absolutely see where you're coming from. I've been in a very similar situation but it's my DH's friends who pile the pressure on me. I absolutely do not accept that just because they've been skiing/snowboarding for years, they know better than me what I would or wouldn't enjoy. No, I haven't tried it...so I can't say for certain that I would hate it. But I DO know that I hate being cold, I hate anything that makes me feel unsafe, and I hate most forms of physical activity...so I think there's a pretty good chance that it wouldn't be my cup of tea. And no, I don't want to spend £5k just to find that out for sure.
Don't let them railroad you. They have absolutely no right to push you into it. Dig your heels in and save your money/free time for something you DO fancy doing. And if you have the opportunity to explain that to them, do so. Maybe try this: "I'm sorry but my free time and disposable income is too precious to waste on activities that don't interest me, but perhaps we could arrange a group trip to a spa/seaside town/West End show some other time?"
Be strong. Ski bullies are a persistent bunch.

If you REALLY want to piss them off then learn to board. skiers HATE boarders!!!

Skiing is easier to pick up and harder to master, boarding is harder to pick up but easier to master.... well, that's the general consensus I've found.

DH and I have been away of a snow holiday every year since we got together (but not this one as I'm 9 months pg)
It's bloody expensive. I love it but FFS if you don't want to go then don't go!!! I absolutely agree that snow holiday people can be horrendous bullies. Also, DH's family have been going annually since God was a child forever so will have forgotten how bloody hard work it is when you're first learning.

Experienced = wearing heaps of layers because they control their skis with very little movement, their muscles are relaxed and they glide and shoop shop with ease.
Beginner = FUCK ME I'M BOILING! Really tense muscles, whole body used to make tiny adjustments, enormous effort every time you fall over and you get really bloody tired.

Stand your ground.