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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift for boyfriend was not well received

621 replies

Lottiegal · 31/10/2016 23:15

I'm divorced with three kids and have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months. Things have been going pretty well so far and he seems committed etc. At the weekend was his 40th and we had dinner etc and some drinks. I'd deliberated for ages what to get him as a gift, originally we talked about going away but we couldn't find the time work and kids etc. He's a man of discerning taste, and we share a love of Scandinavia and good design, so I bought him an Aarne Jacobsen clock (a design classic) When he received it he thanked me and said it was a cool gift so I was pleased. Today though on the phone he said he was sorry he didn't like the gift and wanted to return it. I was a bit upset to be honest but hid my emotions and said I would return it. He then joked like 'what would I do with a clock, it's really not me' I felt hurt that I'd got it so wrong, and by his reaction. I did say I was upset that he didn't like it but he seemed almost annoyed that I'd got it for him.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
iremembericod · 31/10/2016 23:17

Yuk

How terribly ungracious

And I mean him. Not the clock

UterusUterusGhali · 31/10/2016 23:17

Yanbu
That's pretty dickish.

Was it a wall clock though? Maybe if he's very into design he wouldn't want it on his naice walls.

iremembericod · 31/10/2016 23:18

Perhaps time is up

Sorry.

IMissGrannyW · 31/10/2016 23:18

it's horrible when you buy something with love and thought and it's dismissed. But at least he's honest. You've only been together 6 months. If you (as a couple) stay the distance, you'll soon get to know each other better. It's grim when someone buys you rubbish you hate and they think they're doing brilliantly.

He hasn't been very sensitive, but he's set the bar quite high for your next birthday....

sonlypuppyfat · 31/10/2016 23:20

He sounds nice, who does that?

Empress13 · 31/10/2016 23:23

How very rude! Why didn't he just accept it without being hurtful?

Yes next year God help you!

KoalaDownUnder · 31/10/2016 23:24

How rude of him.

Gifts are tokens of affection. They don't have to be your favourite things ever; you can buy those for yourself.

He needs to grow up and get some manners.

littlepeas · 31/10/2016 23:26

How horrible. Really ungrateful, especially as you have clearly gone to some effort to be thoughtful.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 31/10/2016 23:27

He sounds like a twat.

Original poster
Lottiegal · 31/10/2016 23:28

Uterus... yes it was a walk clock so you may have a point.
I think it was the realisation I'd read his taste so wrong that upset me and his attitude (insensitive). I thought the timepiece was classic and stylish but he's entitled to his own opinion.
A while ago he bought me a cushion with an elephant on it from Africa which I thought was a bit naff but I accepted it with grace and put it in my sofa as it was a gift from him I liked it for that reason.

OP posts:
WonkoTheSane42 · 31/10/2016 23:28

what would I do with a clock

Tell the time with it?

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 31/10/2016 23:29

Ditch👎🏻

AppleJac · 31/10/2016 23:29

TBH I would rather he told me so I could exchange it for something he wanted so I then hadn't wasted my money

DontTouchTheMoustache · 31/10/2016 23:30

He sounds like a spoiled child

expatinscotland · 31/10/2016 23:30

Gawd, that's fucking rude. Yep, I'd call time on this.

PickAChew · 31/10/2016 23:31

Well, the clocks are unremarkable (which probably explains their timelessness, so to speak) ut DH but me a simple but lovely clock from M&S when we'd been together a short time and, despite it being knocked over and needing gluing, I still have that clock, simpley ept put of the way of the kids, because it has meaning.

He's being rather churlish. Even if it's not his favourite thing ever, I presume he has several rooms which aren't his main room, even if he put it up in the bog!

I owuld be tempted to take it as a warning that you will never be able to please him.

TheNaze73 · 31/10/2016 23:31

It's a tough one & hopefully when you've been together a bit longer, you'll laugh about the cushion & the clock. The way he said it was wrong & maybe too direct on this occasion however, I'd rather honesty in a relationship balanced with tact

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 31/10/2016 23:32

Unless you bought him a voucher for a penis-enlargement, the correct response to a gift is "Thank you very much".

ButtMuncher · 31/10/2016 23:32

I'll have it OP - love his designs Wink

I'm on the fence on this one - he could have been more tactful but at the same time those clocks aren't cheap and he may have felt bad for you spending that money and him not really liking the gift - my DP felt really bad one year that he'd received a really rushed gift (I was pregnant and unwell and previously bought present was damaged) and fought himself to like it but ultimately had to come clean - it was swapped and no harm done but we've been together for years so are familiar with each other's styles. I knew he wouldn't be 100% on it but my DSS picked it out too.

Anyway - it's hard to know whether he was really ungracious or just very blunt about the gift - either way, don't beat yourself up for not getting it right. If he likes Scandinavian styles you picked something perfect, as another poster said maybe he's not keen on wall mount clocks - I know I'm not but love that design.

If he's got form for being ungrateful then the problem maybe deeper - chances are he may feel embarrassed and guilty for mentioning it but didn't want you to waste money.

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/10/2016 23:32

Tell him you'll swap it for a naff cushion with an elephant on it

GirlOverboard · 31/10/2016 23:34

Was it expensive? I mean if it cost £500 I can see why he wouldn't want you to waste your money on something he hates (but he should have explained his reasoning more gently).

If it cost £20 he should just smile and say he loves it.

cdtaylornats · 31/10/2016 23:34

Who needs a clock these days. Its just the one thing in the house you have to remember to change twice a year.

BarInSpace · 31/10/2016 23:37

LTB

Good manners and consideration are more important than discerning taste.

Original poster
Lottiegal · 31/10/2016 23:38

Thenoodlesincident 😂😂😂 love it!

OP posts:
bumsexatthebingo · 31/10/2016 23:39

I'd tell him that you are a bit surprised that he didn't have the good manners to accept the gift gratefully whether he loved it or not like you did with the shitty elephant cushion