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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

texting early morning/late at night

228 replies

fizzingmum · 27/06/2016 10:19

AIBU to think that unless it is an emergency there is no need to text or message someone early in the morning? I have a couple of friends who for different reasons are both early risers and will think nothing of messaging at 6am onwards. I have two DC and we have a very good morning routine meaning that we don't need to be up until 7.30, but I will often be woken early as they are up and have something to say, which could always wait. I've mentioned it to both friends and the response ive received has been that I should turn my phone off if I don't want to be contacted. I don't see why they can't respect my request to keep
To more sociable hours. I need my phone on for actual emergencies. My children may be with their Dad and need me, or my Dad might need me. But getting a picture of my friends son enjoying a party from the weekend at 6am in a Monday morning just maddens me! I think that before 9am and after 9pm it is rude to text. I'm also 35 weeks pregnant so will be needing to get sleep when I can. How do I tell them to stop
This shit!

OP posts:
ClaraLane · 27/06/2016 10:23

Just put your phone on silent? Hmm

Laiste · 27/06/2016 10:23

Can't you just set your text message alert to vibrate and keep the ring tone for calls on loud for the night/early mornings?

Me624 · 27/06/2016 10:23

YABU. They won't be expecting a response at that hour but are texting you at a time convenient to them. Put your phone into do not disturb mode overnight if Apple - you can program certain numbers to still come through if they ring twice ie a proper emergency. I'm sure android/Windows phones have a similar function.

ClaraLane · 27/06/2016 10:25

Or if it's an iPhone put it on Do Not Disturb mode and set your children and their dad as favourites so it will ring for them and no-one else. You can also select the setting where a call from the same number within 3 minutes will ring too. Texts won't have alerts though which sounds like what you want.

MrsFrisbyMouse · 27/06/2016 10:26

Use your phone settings to filter out all unwanted notifications except those you want to get through.

I don't know what phone you have but most systems are extremely customisable these days for exactly this reason. You will probably have an option to go to night time mode for example - but then there will almost certainly be an option for allowing certain callers.

ItsyBitsyBikini · 27/06/2016 10:30

I put my Samsung on do not disturb between 10pm and 7am. My phone is mainly on silent/vibrate anyway so it's not a problem.

Original poster
fizzingmum · 27/06/2016 10:32

Me624 - most of the time there is no response required. It's pointless messages. And I have requested several times could they please refrain from messaging before 9am. The more I ask the more they seem to ignore it. Both know I need to have my phone on. Angry
I hadn't realised I could select certain numbers to come through, I'll have a look at that.

OP posts:
Chocolatefudgecake100 · 27/06/2016 10:35

Wow some friend you are

whois · 27/06/2016 10:35

YABU

The very beauty of text messages is you read and reply at your leisure.

Put your phone on silent or DND if you don't want to be woken by a 'ping'.

Your fault entirely for being woken up.

whois · 27/06/2016 10:37

If you asked me to 'keep to more sociable hours' I would just not bother to text you again much ever. If think you were rude and unfriendly.

You can set different notification for different groups of people. Set a 'VIP' group for your kids and dad that is set to always make a noise even when phone is on silent.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 27/06/2016 10:38

It's not like they're ringing the land line! The whole point of texting is so you don't disturb the other person and they can deal with the message when it suits them.

Put your phone on silent.

JerryFerry · 27/06/2016 10:41

You are being ridiculous, maybe it's your hormones talking. Just keep your phone on silent and look at it when you're ready.

VimFuego101 · 27/06/2016 10:45

YABU - just put your phone on silent/ DND. If they were calling your landline you might have a point.

Stillunexpected · 27/06/2016 10:47

You shouldn't be sleeping with your phone next to your head anyway. How many emergency calls are you expecting to receive?! Your ex or your family can call your landline if they need to.

TeenAndTween · 27/06/2016 10:52

I think YABU, and emergencies late at night and early in the morning should be coming on the landline.

HSMMaCM · 27/06/2016 10:53

As others have said, my phone is on silent 9pm-9am, but my mum, sister, brother, husband and daughter can still get me if they want me. Landline wouldn't work, as it's permanently on silent and downstairs - only used about once a year.

If you can't find it on your phone settings, google it, or ask on here.

Scarydinosaurs · 27/06/2016 10:54

My sister does this, she is permanently on do not disturb!

icklekid · 27/06/2016 10:56

9am seems unreasonable as many people will be at work so won't be able to send a message then until lunch time and may have then forgotten! Big difference between 6am and 9am!

Original poster
fizzingmum · 27/06/2016 10:57

I'm glad I'm not friends with any of you guys. Surely if I ask someone to not text at 6am as it wakes me, unless it is an emergency then they ABU in ignoring that. I really
Don't need to know at 6am that your child ate his first fish finger last week. A real
Text I received after asking nicely to stick to more sociable hours. And it's not hormones. This has been going on for years. I'm just sick of keep asking to not text. Would you text your boss to call in sick at 6am? If you were the boss would you stand for it? It's no different to just ask someone to consider the person on the other end of the text and ask yourself is it really necessary at this time of the morning?

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 27/06/2016 10:59

But if it wakes you, it's because you're choosing not to use the do not disturb function. Do you always get this worked up about non issues?

BeingHuman · 27/06/2016 10:59

There is an option on most phones now to turn the alert for texts of completely. But will still alert for calls, do that.

Original poster
fizzingmum · 27/06/2016 10:59

Can't sleep again, are you up? Another text I received at 5.55am! Well I bloody well am now!

OP posts:
spiderlight · 27/06/2016 11:00

Well, I'm with you, OP! I need my phone on overnight because I have a very frail 92-year-old dad and, well, you know.... :( I don't want to have to faff around remembering to take it off Do Not Disturb every morning when I have a hundred other things to do before school/work and put it on again every night. But I have to because I've got a friend who's a chronic insomniac and will think nothing of sending a long chatty reply to a text at 3am. I have finally managed to stop her doing this with a few immediate 'Christ, you frightened the life out of me! I thought someone had died!' type replies, but it's very thoughtless to assume that a text won't wake someone.

WannaBe · 27/06/2016 11:01

Yabu. Text is like email - you can read and reply at your leisure. It's not the same as a phone call, and if you don't want to be woken by it then it's up to you to set your phone up so you're not.

I almost always have headphones plugged into my phone so I don't see text messages until I pick up my phone even during the day. I have a friend who works shifts and often texts in the middle of the night. I don't see it until morning and that's fine.

whois · 27/06/2016 11:01

Can't sleep again, are you up? Another text I received at 5.55am! Well I bloody well am now!

Again, your fault for not putting phone on DND or setting selective notiifcations for your 'vip' numbers.

Texs are universaly accepted as ok to send whenever.

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