texting early morning/late at night

[fizzingmum]

AIBU to think that unless it is an emergency there is no need to text or message someone early in the morning? I have a couple of friends who for different reasons are both early risers and will think nothing of messaging at 6am onwards. I have two DC and we have a very good morning routine meaning that we don't need to be up until 7.30, but I will often be woken early as they are up and have something to say, which could always wait. I've mentioned it to both friends and the response ive received has been that I should turn my phone off if I don't want to be contacted. I don't see why they can't respect my request to keep
To more sociable hours. I need my phone on for actual emergencies. My children may be with their Dad and need me, or my Dad might need me. But getting a picture of my friends son enjoying a party from the weekend at 6am in a Monday morning just maddens me! I think that before 9am and after 9pm it is rude to text. I'm also 35 weeks pregnant so will be needing to get sleep when I can. How do I tell them to stop
This shit!

I'm with you op, that would drive me nuts! Absolutely no need unless an emergency. It's actually very rude if you've asked them not too, to.

I have my text alert on silent and not to vibrate so it wouldn't disturb me, can you not do that but keep the ringtone on in case of emergency? Seems quite a simple solution.....

I think you're being entirely reasonable. DH had a job that meant he had to be contactable 24/7 and that meant phone by the bed, volume on. People contacting us in ungodly hours for no good reason meant limited sleep - why be so selfish? It can wait!

I see texts as like emails. Not for instant reply, so you can send whenever.

i dont know how to set my phone for certain people etc. but a text wont wake me. also sometimes messages delay they may have send it at 8pm and it only just reached you. although thats not often but does happen.

can you just say please message me after 8 or what ever. sometimes people dont think.

I have the sound for text messages and fb messenger switched off all the time.

People phone for urgent stuff, no one is going to text about an emergency at 2am.

Leave your phone on but set the early testers to do not disturb.

I don't like to be disturbed by texts at night either. Which is why I set my phone up to go automatically into DND mode at 10.30 each night until 6.30 the next morning.

Most people I know do this.

Look, I have slightly more sympathy with you than other posters, because yes, if someone asked me not to text before 9am I wouldn't. However I do think this is a weird request - as people have said, one huge advantage of texting over calling is that you can do it at a delay. I used to get on a train at 6am each day and I would use that time both to catch up on work emails (so yes, I did contact my boss at 6am plenty of times) and to reply to other messages. Often I'd have messages from friends that had been sent after I was asleep, since I was getting up so early. I didn't resent that (I set my phone to silent!), so why would they resent me replying when I was awake? Your rules would actually make communication quite difficult for a lot of people. My brother and one of my best friends both live in very different time zones to me; if they couldn't send messages at times that might not suit me we'd find it much harder to communicate at all.

I have family who do this, then get shitty when I'm cooking a high maintenance breakfast and can't reply. DH has rung them to tell them to just wait for a reply and they still don't get it. Some people won't be told. YANBU.

YABU, turning the do not disturb function on and off is so easy.
Re texting your boss to call in sick, I would absolutely do it very early in the morning, as does my DH.
Nannies have been texting me at 1am saying they were unwell (food poisoning for ex) and wouldn't come to work the next day, would you suggest they should have put an alarm at 7am just to text that they wouldn't be there at 8?

I wouldn't know how to select special numbers. However, I don't keep my phone in my room. If it rang for ages in another room I would hear it, but a text message beep would not wake me!

Just looked at my Windows phone, Cortana has quiet hours when she doesn't talk to me, but there's no night time mode for text alerts or fucking FB alerts.

Yabu. I don't have phone in the bedroom. I'd think nothing of messaging people 24 hours a day when I'm up with the baby as everyone I know makes themselves unavailable when they don't want to be disturbed and reply when it suits them.

BathshebaDarkstone I am with you regarding the need to answer immediately. For me you can answer a text when you have a spare moment, whereas a phone call forces you to drop everything to answer straightaway.

Your phone, your responsibility.

My phone automatically goes onto do not disturb between 11pm and 7am so I'm never bothered. I text people at all hours but wouldn't expect a reply until it's convenient for them.

from the other side, that might be an "unsociable" time for you, but your "sociable" time might be unsociable for them... just put your phone onto "do not disturb" for the time you don't want to be disturbed. If you do need to be disturbed for certain things, either get a separate work phone, or work out how to bypass the do not disturb function for certain numbers...

But whichever it is, just sort it out and stop being such a cow to your "friends"!

If you have an iPhone, put a Do Not Disturb on at night. You can set it so you won't get alerts, apart from your family etc. - you can customise the list.
Personally I'd be on the phone eating the head off them for this!

Yabvu.

The DND option is there for a reason, you know...

I would definitely say YABU! Unless you don't want your friends to contact you at all, then don't specify when they can and can't. Learn how to use your phone to suit your needs best.

Some people for whatever reason, find time to communicate at times that don't necessarily match up to your convenient times. Like pps have pointed out, they aren't ringing you repeatedly until you pick up - simply dropping you a message that you can reply to at your convenience. It doesn't need to disturb you - you are allowing it to, and then complaining about it.

And yes, I have contacted my employer at all times of the day and night to let them know I've been unfit for duty, it gives them the longest time possible to put alternative cover in place.

So many MNers seem to be in constant search for something to be aggrieved about. It must be very tiring.

I'm guilty of this, sorry! I'm a night owl and may be up until 12 or 1, and that's when I'm most likely to see a text about some arrangement or other and send a reply. I do worry it might wake them up but the other option is for me to forget once things get busy again in the morning.

You can set it up so you won't be disturbed. It's better than asking people to stick to certain hours - that's just more stress and will put people off contacting you.

Text and email is brilliant for me, I love it that you can keep in touch so easily without actually having to be available at the same time.

The thing is you're coming across as very controlling and it sounds like they've picked up on it and are now doing it on purpose to wind you up and get a reaction. You can't really think it's reasonable to attempt to police when your friends have time to text? Just do what PP have suggested and change your phone settings.

What if they are too busy 9-9? Would you rather not hear from them at all?
In bed mornings & evening might be the only time they get to catch up on correspondence/keeping in touch.
If they were ringing your landline I could understand it, but otherwise ignore/dnd etc