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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU and should I make Dp's lunch?

223 replies

sleeplessinmybedroom · 30/11/2015 23:05

This is semi lighthearted but Dp and I are bickering over whether I should make his packed lunch for him or not. I've said I will post this and if it's deemed I am being unreasonable then I will make his packed lunch.

Just for clarity I'm on maternity leave at the moment with a 3 month old baby and a 9 year old. He works 5-7 days a week, sometimes long hours in a physical job.

I do all of the housework in the day but he does pitch in when he's home. He washes up every night.

He takes the baby when he gets in and puts her to bed. If she wakes in the night for her dummy he sorts her more often than me.

When I was working he sometimes made my packed lunch.

I just hate making packed lunches. I won't let Ds have them because I hate it so much. So who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 30/11/2015 23:08

Who gets up at what time in the mornings?

Not that it makes a difference........

He should make them last thing at night and put them in the fridge. Grin

Arion · 30/11/2015 23:09

If you were making for DS, then yes, not much more effort to make 2. As it would be an extra task, then no, he can make his own. You are on maternity leave, to look after baby and recover from the birth. Not have a bit of time off to look after your husband leave!

Leeds2 · 30/11/2015 23:09

I would make some, not all, of the packed lunches as a compromise. And I would make them the night before and put them in the fridge.

Barmaid101 · 30/11/2015 23:10

I think yabu especially him being the one to get up most nights to put a dummy in! He's working 5-7 long days a week! Considering he washes up as well and sorts the baby out, could you not make the packed lunch, or if you hate it that much, take over the washing up and he can make it himself! You seem incredibly selfish!

Akire · 30/11/2015 23:11

Since its a job you hate and he's equally capable of doing he can make his own! You don't mind holding the baby extra 3min it takes of an evening for him to make for the next day do you?

TheCrowFromBelow · 30/11/2015 23:12

No he can make his own lunch. You're off because you have had a baby, you have enough to do.

If you were sahp with all DCs in school I'd probably still say the same, I hate making packed lunches and grown ups can get their food!

Jollyjogger · 30/11/2015 23:12

Is this a reverse?

Who has more free time?

honeysucklejasmine · 30/11/2015 23:13

I hate making lunches too. I'd get his point if you were making a lunch for someone else, bit otherwise it sounds like just a general household chore that you both are equally capable of doing. If he usually pitches in when he gets home, he can make it whilst you do something else "for the family".

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 30/11/2015 23:13

Who makes your lunch?

CrazyOldBagLady · 30/11/2015 23:14

I think it would be nice of you to make him a packed lunch sometimes, but it shouldn't be your duty to do it.

Can't whoever makes the evening meal put a bit extra on and fill a tupperware box for the next day? Won't take any more time out of anyone's day then.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2015 23:15

Blimey, it takes less than 5 minutes to make a packed lunch.

Take turns or something, I dunno.

Some things are worth stressing over like who does the ironing

But this probably shouldn't be one of them.

Original poster
sleeplessinmybedroom · 30/11/2015 23:17

He gets up for work about 6, I get up when the baby wakes anytime between 6-7.30. He will also change her nappy and bring up a bottle if he has time. If I were to do them it would be at night.

I think I'd rather make the packed lunches than wash up after cooking. See he hates cooking and emptying the food waste bin so I do those.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/11/2015 23:18

There are some things I believe you just don't do for someone who has reached adulthood (disability aside)

Wiping their arse. Doing their ironing. Picking up their mess. Getting them up in the morning. Spitting on a hanky and wiping their face. Making their packed lunch.

Jollyjogger · 30/11/2015 23:22

So who has more free time

Original poster
sleeplessinmybedroom · 30/11/2015 23:23

No not a reverse jogger. I think I probably get a bit more free time because he takes the baby to bed and I stay up some nights a bit later to be a grown up. If he's working late I do everything on my own.

I make my own lunch Sally.

We're not proper stressing over it worra, he just said tonight that some people he works with are surprised I dont make his lunch.

OP posts:
Dontneedausername · 30/11/2015 23:25

I do it for 2x kids and DH everyday. Not my favourite thing but takes 5 mins and means he won't spend £££ in the canteen! He does plenty for me, and around the house. I'm downstairs first, so I do it as the kettle boils and toast goes in for the kids.

Lweji · 30/11/2015 23:26

IMO a packed lunch is a personal thing. People put in what they feel like eating. He should prepare his own, unless you offered. If you wanted. Or he actually needed you to on the rare occasion.

Jollyjogger · 30/11/2015 23:27

I guess he will get a child free lunch break daily though. Plus coffee breaks.

How hard is your 3 month old? If she's the sort you can't put down then it would be harder to make packed lunches anyway

Lweji · 30/11/2015 23:27

he just said tonight that some people he works with are surprised I don't make his lunch.

Oh, are those his sexist colleagues, or his way of making the comment without sounding like it's him?

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2015 23:27

Well the people at work have nothing to do with anything.

It's you choice whether you make his packed lunch or not, just as he chose to sometimes make yours.

If you really don't want to do it, then don't.

SocksRock · 30/11/2015 23:28

I hate packed lunch as well. But I do do them for DH, as I'm doing the kids ones. I will quite often make a big batch of something at the beginning of the week though so it just has to be boxes and sent out. Things like soup, pasta salad (I do a veggie tomato sauce one and then add meat each day). Often I make extra the night before and box up a portion for him so no hassle in the morning. Would that be possible? Eg I bake three potatoes and put one with baked beans and cheese in his box so he microwaves it at lunchtime. Same with curry and rice. Or slag bol.

AnyFucker · 30/11/2015 23:30

he just said tonight that some people he works with are surprised I don't make his lunch.

that is the equivalent of my 15yo saying all his mate's parents let them take vodka to a party

the answer is still nope sunshine

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/11/2015 23:32

He should make his own but only so he cab put what he fancies in it.

but then I don't get the MN angst over making them.tbh. they take two mins and are hardly the faff they are made out to be.

if your making one fir the kid it's not hard to make an extra sarnie.or chop some extra carrot sticks etc

but I like to make my own lunch.

StellaAlpina · 30/11/2015 23:32

Eek those are some old-fashioned/sexist work colleagues!

What's his reasoning behind you making him his packed lunch? Is he rushed for time in the mornings or are you already in the kitchen making breakfasts etc. while he helps get 9year old ready for school?

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2015 23:32

AnyFucker I'm not sure you can equate wiping someone's arse with knocking together a packed lunch Grin

At least I hope the OP's DH didn't wipe her arse whilst making her packed lunches.

Or if he did, I hope he washed his hands.