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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:
Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

woah that really was long, sorry

OP posts:
TheSameBoat · 02/09/2014 23:50

Of course she was totally out of order. I'm guessing ASDA have CCTV? If so that will provide proof.

Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:53

I think so, my friend suggested this too. I'm just not sure if it'll be that easily identifiable on CCTV, and the passenger could just say it was an accident.

I wish I had the balls to have got out my car straight away and said something!

OP posts:
bluevanman · 02/09/2014 23:54

Totally unreasonable reaction by a moron. None of it is your fault and you have every right to be angry! Should have got their plate number though Hmm scumbag

WaywardOn3 · 02/09/2014 23:54

I wouldn't have been pleased about you letting your car door touch my car either. Regardless of whether you thought it would prevent the door opening wider and hitting my car so for that YABU

But they were far far more unreasonable to deliberately damage your car.

Asda do have CCTV if you'd like to take it to the police :-)

PoppadomPreach · 02/09/2014 23:58

Wow, as I started to read I was thinking well you probably shouldn't have put your door against her car, but what she did was absolutely outrageous and I'd report to police. Hopefully ASDA will have CCTV footage.

I would be as raging as you, but unfortunately there are people around who are utter pond life. You met one of the today and I really, really hope she gets charged and convicted (but suspect chances are slim sadly)

bluevanman · 02/09/2014 23:59

If CCTV is a nono, go back same day same time, next week, with a flask of tea. Humans are creatures of habit, you might just see them

Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 03/09/2014 00:03

wayward - fair enough, it's just really hard to haul myself and a 2 year old out the front door via the back seat, but point taken. ill just close the door and open it again on our way out.

I think I might go into asda tomorrow and see if they have the footage, I just keep seeing the passengers smirky little face shrugging at me and getting the rage!

OP posts:
DorisIsALittleBitPartial · 03/09/2014 00:14

Similar thing happened to me, although the other car was parked at an angle. OP yelled at me that she couldn't get in her car so I said she should have parked properly then and in front of me she swung her door open so it dented mine. I was too Shock to react but every time I see the dent in my door I get cross.
Nothing to be done about it now, it happened and I think you are right to be cross but like me, can't do anything about it.
Fuckers Angry

Icimoi · 03/09/2014 00:22

That's horrific, and a criminal offence. I really hope Asda can trace her.. And I hope she also damaged her own door.

SoonToBeSix · 03/09/2014 00:24

That's awful and criminal damage. Ring 101 and Asda and file an official report.

Peppa87 · 03/09/2014 04:30

Why are people so fussy about car doors gently resting on the next car?

It is sometimes difficult to squeeze a carseat or a child out of a small space with the door swinging about behind you. Its easy to knock it into the next car by accident if you stumble or its windy or the gap is too small.

Whats the problem if it avoids them bashing together accidentally and potentially actually causing damage? Hmm

And some people moan that p&c spaces shouldn't exist! This is partly why they are handy!

Yanbu atall OP, what a stupid bitch!

ILovePud · 03/09/2014 06:29

YANBU she and her passenger behaved terribly. Please don't berate yourself for being a 'wimp' that was a horrible and unexpected situation you found yourself in. I think had you confronted her she could well have kicked off, if only verbally - but you never know, and that would have been very frightening for your DD. It's a shame you didn't get the reg but at that point you must have been so stressed it's understandable. Brew

angelohsodelight · 03/09/2014 06:32

You should not have allowed your door to touch the car, YABU.

But she was nuts, get in touch with Asda to see if there is CCTV.

StillaChocoholic · 03/09/2014 06:45

I don't understand what you are supposed to do if you are not allowed to rest your door on the other car. I've had to do it a few times and as long as you are careful it should be fine.

She was a cow, definitely see if you can get CCTV and report it to the police. She should pay for the damage to your car.

HouseofEliot · 03/09/2014 07:13

I wouldn't be happy about someone letting their door touch my car. She totally overreacted though.

Altinkum · 03/09/2014 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsstarlord · 03/09/2014 07:18

Surprised at the number of people who think you shouldn't allow your car door to touch theirs. Sometimes it's unavoidable but if you do it respectfully there is no problem.

Of course YANBU, the woman sounds like she has anger management and self obsession issues. The only thing we can hope is that her car door got damaged worse than yours. Wink

Lagoonablue · 03/09/2014 07:18

And here is why there is a need for p and t spaces. It is really difficult to get a car seat out of a car in a car park, especially where the spaces are narrow, which they often are.

Those people were idiots. I doubt there is much you can do though OP.

Peppa87 · 03/09/2014 07:22

Do car doors have germs?Hmm Baffled about why people would be unhappy.

WaywardOn3 · 03/09/2014 07:23

Why do some of you not get why letting your car door touch/rest on another car would irritate most car owners who find you at it?

We have no idea how your car door came to be on ours so for all we know you could have damaged it.

I won't buy a 3 door car for the very reason that they are absolute sods to get out of the back seats.

Deffo go see if the have CCTV in your asda car park but try not to let your car doors touch other cars at all in future as even an old banger of a car is someone's pride and joy

honeysucklejasmine · 03/09/2014 07:23

I don't understand the big deal about gently resting your car door against someone else's. If they've parked too far over or something you don't always have a choice. Gently gently literally won't leave a scratch.

OP what a biatch! Definitely ask about CCTV and file a report. Some insurance companies will need a crime number before they pay out.

pregnantpause · 03/09/2014 07:26

Yanbu- contact asda and 101- try to catch these bastards or they'll do it again.

Shocked at how many precious people here are saying that you can't touch their car at all when navigating a car park! Resting your door on another car is fine as long you do no damage, how else can you get your children out?

JassyRadlett · 03/09/2014 07:26

People's car doors do not carry the Ebola virus. Would you rather an accidental bang than careful and gentle resting against your door in a tight space?

People who 'wouldn't be happy' with another car door touching theirs - why?

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 07:27

The only way to avoid car doors touching other cars is to never park in a car park.

You were not a wimp. You sensibly didn't engage with somebody who was potentially dangerous. She clearly damaged your car on purpose so I think it is worth contacting supermarket if you want to take it further - depending on the level of damage you might feel it isn't worth the hassle.

However, on a positive note this kind of incident is rare - you were just unlucky. However you dealt with it correctly.