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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:

treaclesoda · 03/09/2014 07:28

I am constantly amazed by how precious people are about their cars. Not you OP, because in your case damage was done, but the other person. I drive a nice car and take good care of it, but I would far far rather that the person next to me gently rested their door against mine than that they left it open and accidentally knocked it into mine whilst wrestling a child out of the car.

I have a friend who was punched to the ground and knocked unconscious for 'walking too close' to another person's car once, so maybe I'm exceptionally disgusted by people who are overly precious about their chunk of metal.

RabbitSaysWoof · 03/09/2014 07:32

I wouldn't give 2 shits if you rested your car door against mine if you had taken care, paint doesn't fall of just like that without an impact. (I would probably have a little look after you closed your door if I hadn't witnessed you carefully placing it!) my neighbours and I have to do it all the time on our shared driveway and none of us have hideous lines down our car doors.

She was a dick and that was criminal damage I hope you can get her details.

CinnamonVanilla · 03/09/2014 07:40

If you rest your door against my Coupe, you'll set the alarm off. It's weight triggered.

I'd be very annoyed, but I Park away from people to avoid it.

You were unreasonable but she was downright crazy.

londonrach · 03/09/2014 07:45

You shouldn't have let your car door rest in hers. However what she did was 1000 times worse. Go to asda today before they wipe CCTV and get her details and report her as driving off without giving her details following an accident. However next time don't rest your door on anyone's car as they don't know you done it gently.

Tabby1963 · 03/09/2014 07:45

I would be unhappy extremely pissed off if I'd seen your car door 'resting' on mine, and would have inspected my door very carefully for any damage and claimed of your insurance for any scratches or damage caused.

However, I would not have done what this woman did in case I damaged my car, because that is way over the top and must have been a very shocking experience.

I have never heard that it is acceptable to allow a car door to touch the car next to you. It isn't.

I am wondering whether you could keep a padded blanket in your car and drape it over the door that would 'rest' on another car, so protecting both doors from damage. Other than that, park in a quiet part of the car park, even if that is furtherest away from the store you are visiting.

tittifilarious · 03/09/2014 07:48

She was a nasty, bullying bitch.

I had a man in Tesco absolutely furious because the crappy angle HE had parked HIS car at meant he had difficulty getting into his car. He shouted & swore at me because my perfectly parked car was somehow an issue. I told him to go and fuck himself. I was so angry as I know if I'd been a man or had my husband with me he wouldn't have carried on like that, but he obviously saw a lone female in prissy work clothes & thought he could act the big shot. I think he got a shock when my vocabulary didn't match my appearance!

Upshot people are dicks. She'd have been a dick whether you'd stood up to her or not. Don't feel bad.

tittifilarious · 03/09/2014 07:50

Oh and it is acceptable to let you car door rest against another car.

FacebookWillEatItself · 03/09/2014 07:52

But if she was so worried about her door being damaged by yours then how did she manage to deliberately damage your door without risking equal damage to her own?

Anyway, for future reference:

Stick up for yourself and explain yourself calmly and politely in future and if people get arsey with you call the police.

You should have called the police in this instance - she deliberately damaged your car.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 07:55

She was vile but if you had 'rested' your door against my car I'd be furious as well.
It is NOT acceptable to let your door rest against another car. Whilst you are bouncing around in the car sorting your child out it's rubbing up and down the paintwork of the car next to it. It's rude and bloody inconsiderate.

Peppa87 · 03/09/2014 07:55

What do you people actually do if you are left with space not big enough to pull a carseat through unless the door was opened a little more therefore just touching the next car? And in a small car park, with no out of the way spaces.
I don't think I've ever seen anybody padding a car door with a blanket.

diddl · 03/09/2014 07:56

"Why are people so fussy about car doors gently resting on the next car?"

I was wondering that.

I'm a short arse & find it hard to hold the door whilst I get out iyswim.

I generally open the door as far as possible & then get out.

TwoHeadedDolphin · 03/09/2014 08:05

I have no problem with people resting their door against mine to get in and out. There is sometimes no other way to get in and out of the car. What else are you supposed to do if other people have parked badly, or two big cars park on either side of you, or spaces just happen to be narrow?

She was totally unreasonable, OP. I would ask ASDA to check their CCTV (and do it quickly as it's not kept forever).

londonrach · 03/09/2014 08:07

Do supermarkets only keep CCTV for 24 hours...

diddl · 03/09/2014 08:09

i thought that car doors had a protector on so that it wouldn't be metal against another car door?

CSIJanner · 03/09/2014 08:09

She also left the scene of an accident....

HappyAgainOneDay · 03/09/2014 08:10

I try not to rest my car door on anyone else's but the passenger who crashed that car door into your car probably damaged her driver's car, too. The driver won't be pleased with the passenger if that happened.

Mrsstarlord · 03/09/2014 08:12

I think the reason I wouldn't get annoyed is that I wouldn't automatically assume that someone was being out of order. I'd assume they had done it carefully unless I saw otherwise.

HolidayPackingIsHardWork · 03/09/2014 08:14

YANBU. The woman was a jerk with anger control issues. So easy for you to say sorry, her to have a look and see no harm was done to her car and everyone to have a laugh.

sanfairyanne · 03/09/2014 08:15

hope you find her, op

i put my hand round the outside of the door to hold it while kids get in/out as a kind of door protector. if you have a baby car seat, i guess it must be really hard if there is not enough space. i would be annoyed to see someone's car door on mine - it is v rude - but she sounds well out of order

treaclesoda · 03/09/2014 08:15

I try not to rest my car door against someone else's either but I can't understand why people would be angry at someone trying very hard not to damage their car, by resting the door gently against it. That won't scratch the paint, whereas a gust of wind blowing the door with force will.

Trickydecision · 03/09/2014 08:17

CSIJanner, the 'accident' was not on a public road so the police would not bother about anyone leaving the scene, but might be interested in criminal damage as Facebook says.

Silvercatowner · 03/09/2014 08:17

Something similar happened to me. I took a photograph of the guy's car as he was reversing out of the car park. Trouble is, my car has a fair few small dents and scrapes and I couldn't actually identify which dent he had caused. :(

Aeroflotgirl · 03/09/2014 08:18

Wow she was very out of order and caused damage to your car. I would report to tge police and go to Asda to see if tgey have CCTV footage. You could have taken a photo of her reg plate.

flipchart · 03/09/2014 08:20

It is for reasons like this that I park away from other cars.
Asda car parks are usually very large. I always park quite far away from the entrance away from everyone. ( even when the kids were babies I used to ignore the gimmick if parent and child parking spaces)

Sure there shouldn't be a problem about a door resting on another car when open but not everyone is careful.

CSIJanner · 03/09/2014 08:22

Tricky - criminal damage works just as well

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