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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:
RiverTam · 03/09/2014 10:39

wedge? But that suggests that my car door is hard up against the other car, which it isn't - it's gently resting, which would mean an item of clothing would simply slide down.

TeamScotland · 03/09/2014 10:40

Can't answer for nowadays, mine are old enough to get in and out themselves.

When they were babies I had my favourite ever car. I was a bit of a fusspot about it. I simply never parked too close to the next vehicle.

AnnieLobeseder · 03/09/2014 10:43

Well if the gap is sufficiently large that your door is resting lightly and wouldn't hold a buffer in place, may I suggest that the gap is big enough that your door doesn't need to be touching the other car at all!!!

Missunreasonable - has is occurred to you that some people cannot even entertain the idea of buying a new car because they have no money to do so?

hmc · 03/09/2014 10:45

If I were her I'd have said 'your door is on my car, I sincerely hope there is no damage!' and then I would have checked. But she behaved like a maniac and I would phone 101 & the store regarding CCTV footage - people shouldn't get away with this sort of profoundly anti social behaviour.

Missunreasonable · 03/09/2014 10:50

Missunreasonable - has is occurred to you that some people cannot even entertain the idea of buying a new car because they have no money to do so?

Nope, because when you decide to have children you should plan for what you need: a bigger car, a bigger home, a public transport friendly pram....
Some things genuinely can't be planned for but most things can.

OwlCapone · 03/09/2014 10:56

In 15 years of child ownership I've never had to rest my car door against another car, even with a big car. It's really not that hard.

Nevertheless, the other driver was clearly in the wrong and a total twat.

AnnieLobeseder · 03/09/2014 10:58

Missunreasonable - Ah, so you're of the opinion that poor people shouldn't have children? And that all children should be impeccably planned?

People do cope with tiny houses and tiny old cars you know.

Thisvehicleisreversing · 03/09/2014 10:59

I'm amazed by all these cars that stop functioning after a door has lightly rested against it.

Things are made so poorly these days aren't they? Hmm

Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 03/09/2014 10:59

thanks everyone for all your comments.

just a few things -

my car was given to me when my nana passed away (before I had DD) - I couldn't afford a car if this wasn't the case - I'm a skint student unfortunately, and don't have the luxury of being able to go out and buy a 5 door. it was difficult at times getting a car seat in and out when DD was a baby, but I managed it without damaging anyone's car.

I do normally try to park at the end if I don't get a p&c space, but the asda I go to very rarely has spaces, as it's attached to a small shopping centre, and people use the asda car park if the shopping centre one is full.

I take on the fact some people would be unhappy with my door touching their car. it genuinely didn't occur to me people would be unhappy with this, and thought it was preferable to an accidental dint from the door if it swung open fully while I was in the back pulling DD out - from now on I'll be more cautious and do my best to avoid my door touching other cars.

I'm going to go to asda today and see if they have it on CCTV. I really hope the passenger did damage her friends car door too - with the force she used, and the damage to my car, it's hard to see how she wouldn't have!

OP posts:
OneSkinnyChip · 03/09/2014 11:00

She was a twat OP. Was she driving a Chelsea tractor by any chance? Carpark spaces seem to getting smaller while cars just keep getting bigger. It's crazy.

Do find out about CCTV and report them to the police. The driver sounds like a lunatic and the passenger sounds like a little bitch.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 11:00

In 15 years of child ownership I've never had to rest my car door against another car, even with a big car. It's really not that hard.

Exactly. I had 2 kids and a hideous green 3 door Corsa and P&C spaces were virtually non existent.

Comito · 03/09/2014 11:11

I'm afraid I'd be annoyed if someone rested their door against my car and even more annoyed if someone let their door bang into my car. If that makes me 'precious' or a 'cock' or whatever of the other phrases people have used then so be it.

YOU may think it's perfectly fine to rest your door on another car and dictate that anyone who objects is wrong, but I can assure you there are a lot of people who don't feel the same way.

unlucky83 · 03/09/2014 11:12

I try not to touch other cars with my doors - I put my hand between the door and the car next when bigger DC are getting out and would have put a blanket or something between if I had no choice ...
But call 101 - if they have CCTV the other driver deliberately damaged your car - and that is bang out of order ...and if police are involved they will see you didn't damage her car - unless she is a real nutter and does it herself to prove a point...

Someone mentioned this up thread and I've read similar before....
I often deliberately park in normal spaces on a slight angle...giving more room at the back to get DD2 out. Does depend on the way cars next to me are facing and whether they have car seats visible in the back ...

Figure doing that is better than being really straight but parking really close on the drivers side to give enough space to get DD2 out at the back...
Now I think I might park like a twat Blush

treaclesoda · 03/09/2014 11:13

but that's just it comito, the OP was resting her car door against the car to prevent her accidentally banging the car door. So you're annoyed by her trying to prevent the thing that you are saying would annoy you even more.

emnn · 03/09/2014 11:15

I wouldn't have been happy to see your car door resting on my car (sorry), but, I am assuming you didn't cause any damage whereas they did. I'd get asda to look at CCTV for you & deff take it further

Comito · 03/09/2014 11:18

As others have pointed out, depending on where the edge of the door is resting, even that can cause damage. My previous car was literally covered with tiny dings and scratches on the doors/wings where people had 'gently rested' their doors as they got out.

Obviously, the other woman was totally unreasonable and a twat, but I'm afraid I dispute this attitude that it's fine to rest your doors on other people's cars and accuse them of being precious or call them names if they don't agree.

Comito · 03/09/2014 11:19

Also, just as an aside, it's unlikely the police will be interested. Someone once actually hit my car and damaged it in a car park. There were witnesses and I got the reg. Reported it, the police sat on it for six weeks then told me they wouldn't take any action. I'd also think it unlikely that Asda will provide you the CCTV but you never know.

Missunreasonable · 03/09/2014 12:00

People do cope with tiny houses and tiny old cars you know.

I'm sure they do but if they can't cope without risking damaging other peoples property then they are not coping very well and should do something about it.

OwlCapone · 03/09/2014 12:04

the OP was resting her car door against the car to prevent her accidentally banging the car door

So, it gets to rub up and down on the paintwork instead as the car moves when you are faffing about in it.

I used to open the door, squeeze round to undo the harness and then put my hand between my door and the car next to me whilst the toddler got out by themselves. Obviously a baby seat requires more space, but I wouldn't have parked somewhere I couldn't get them out without messing with someone else's car.

ramrod757 · 03/09/2014 12:13

God, all this 'I'd not be happy to find your door resting on mine' is just so embarrassing. You sound like total cocks

Really? So because I take care of my property and expect people to respect others' property I'm a cock? I'd go fucking nuclear if I caught some cunt resting their door against my pride and joy.

HouseofEliot · 03/09/2014 12:21

I've been driving 20 years and have never opened my door onto another car or resting it on a car. I had 2 under 2 at one stage. I have on occasion had to climb in through the passenger side when someone has parked so close. I also on one memorable occasion had to climb in through my boot as the two cars either side had parked so close. Luckily I drive a hatchback and had to get back for school pickup.

Obviously others don't do the same as my car is covered in small dents both sides.

Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 03/09/2014 12:25

well clearly the damage to my car was well deserved since I'm such an inconsiderate "cunt".

OP posts:
ShadowStar · 03/09/2014 12:32

So what about a situation where you park leaving adequate room on either side of the car to open doors, and then return to find cars have parked so close next to your car that there'd be barely enough room to squeeze an adult through any of the doors, even with your car door touching one of the other cars?

Is it still unacceptable to let your car door touch theirs? Or should you wait until one of the other car's drivers returns after who knows how long and removes one of the cars so you can now get into yours without touching another car?

JustAShopGirl · 03/09/2014 12:35

ItWas...

don't be daft it is not your fault that they damaged your car. They chose to do that.

but in the opinion of some of us on here you were not faultless in your own actions prior to that..

The two can be separated.

Original poster
ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 03/09/2014 12:37

fair enough justashopgirl, just don't appreciate being called a cunt!

like I said, I didn't realise this was such a massive issue for some people, so will be more careful in future.

OP posts:
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