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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 09:09

Whether you see it or not car doors will be carefully and harmlessly touching other cars in car parks all day long because it is often unavoidable.

Also pigeons will be pooing, leaves will be landing and cats will be sleeping on nice warm roofs.

Having said that, I think the touch/not touch thing is slightly irrelevant as nobody has said that it is reasonable to slam your door into another car. (And it's particularly stupid if you are concerned about your car being scratched).

AnnieLobeseder · 03/09/2014 09:13

mimishimmi - AFAIK the law doesn't make it okay to commit a crime in retaliation if someone else has committed a crime against you first, except in the case of self-defence.

HighwayDragon · 03/09/2014 09:15

I park away from the shops and straddle 2 spaces

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 09:15

The CCTV would show the OP carefully opening her door and no evidence of damage. The CCTV probably shows this happening many, many times everyday.

The police won't be impressed with the idea that it is reasonable to assume wrongdoing and exact retribution accordingly.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:15

Pigeon poo comes off with a wash, hardly comparable to a scratch or a dent.

Diddl, matters not a jot whether someone is driving a £20k merc or a £500 Renault, it's their property, something they worked hard to afford and look after. Nobody has the right to damage it.

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 09:17

Straddling 2 spaces (unless you pay for them or the car park is empty) will generally get you a parking ticket.

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 09:18

And a lightly touching car door does no damage whatsoever.

HaroldLloyd · 03/09/2014 09:21

I don't think the issue is really touching the car door, that's obviously a difference of opinion but the correct response would obviously have been to ask you politely could you close your door a little.

Then smashing her door into your car, bloody hell. Call the police!

mimishimmi · 03/09/2014 09:21

I think OP would have a hard time of it proving criminal intent though .. Still might be worth getting CCTV for insurance purposes though..

HaroldLloyd · 03/09/2014 09:23

I would still log it sounds like someone with that short a fuse might have form for this type of crap.

LittleBearPad · 03/09/2014 09:23

Resting a car door against another will not damage it. Sister.

OP. Phone Asda. If you can remember the make it will be easy to identify it from one if the CCTV cameras. Then phone your insurer and report it.

JustAShopGirl · 03/09/2014 09:24

lightly touching a car door does no damage - but then getting into your car and messing about getting a toddler/car seat out causes the car to move up and down - moving the point where the car doors are touching up and down in a sawing type motion - can (and DOES) cause damage to the car door being "lightly touched".

LittleBearPad · 03/09/2014 09:25

FGS same Justashopgirl. Taking a car seat out takes moments. The OP isn't shagging on the back seat. How crap is your suspension.

HaroldLloyd · 03/09/2014 09:25

I'm in the no lightly touching camp. I open it as far as I can without touching the other car and leaving a bit of jiggle room for getting DC out.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:26

Little bear, I disagree. Because as door is 'resting'and parent is bouncing up and down in the car the door is 'rubbing'.
My last car was testament to people 'resting' their doors on it and had the scratches show for it.

merrymouse · 03/09/2014 09:27

I have to say at this point that I get into all sorts of contortions to avoid my door touching another car in RL. Being in good health and having older children this is pretty much always possible for me. However sometimes the position of other cars makes this impossible and I have enough imagination to realise that doing a kind of Marcel Marceau shimmy isn't possible for everyone.

diddl · 03/09/2014 09:27

"Nobody has the right to damage it."

Which resting a car door against it won't do!

LittleBearPad · 03/09/2014 09:28

Bouncing? What the hell do you think people do to get cars seats out. You're being ridiculous.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:28

How firm is your suspension if you expect me to believe that your car doesn't move at all when you get out of it then lean back in to retrieve a child.....

HaroldLloyd · 03/09/2014 09:29

At shimmy.

I'm pretty sure it wouldn't cause any damage as long as you care careful, but I wouldn't want to be in that position.

You never know what people will try as well, they could try and tuck you up for existing marks.

LittleBearPad · 03/09/2014 09:29

My car doesn't move when I get my daughter out her car seat. She weighs 11kg. Not 111!

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:29

Diddl, as I say, my old car was testament to how 'resting' a door does no damage....

RiverTam · 03/09/2014 09:31

can those advocating using your fingers to stop your door touching another car explain to me how you then manage to undo the harness and get a non-walking child out? Or get even a walking small child back in? Because I would need 2 hands to do that. And my arms aren't so long that even if I could do it one-handed I could both keep the door open and reach the harness/seat/child.

Fine now that DD (4.8) is in a booster seat and can do everything bar open the actual door, but up until that point, which was only a few months ago, at some point during this procedure I would need 2 hands.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:31

So you weigh nothing then bear? So you hover getting out then whilst your door is resting and you are leaning on to the cat putting your weight on it? Impressive.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:32

Car*

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