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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:
ShadowStar · 03/09/2014 08:27

Thing is, if you don't see someone in the process of resting their car door against yours, you've got no way of telling whether they've been doing it carefully and gently, or whether they've slammed it into your car and left it.

I try not to let my car door touch another car, but sometimes it's unavoidable. I'm as quick and careful as possible in that kind of situation.

And the passenger was massively unreasonable to deliberately open her door into your car hard enough to dent it. If a passenger did that in my car I'd be really annoyed with them because they'll probably have damaged the door of the drivers car too.

JustAShopGirl · 03/09/2014 08:28

I agree - she was out of order, but I also agree that not everyone is careful - and not everyone has car doors that don't scratch others either.

If you rest it on another door, then put weight in and out of your car, it will move up and down - even if rested lightly it can scratch the car door it is resting on.

MyFairyKing · 03/09/2014 08:30

Those who are saying they never gentle rest their door against another car......

Have you never been in a packed car park and only found the one space where the driver next to you has no concept of what the white lines mean?

Do you go to car parks with massive spaces and perfect parkers?

RoganJosh · 03/09/2014 08:31

She totally overreacted.
If you need to open your door so wide then I would find an end space so you don't need to rest on a car door. I'd be worried it may scratch the car it was leaning on, so wouldn't want to do this regularly.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 08:34

Fairy,I park at the back and right out of the way. I'll look for an end space where I can park right over. Even in a packed car park you can usually find a space that's wider than others due to layout.

I look after my car, I have managed twenty years of driving and 2 kids long before p&c spaces without having to rest my door on someone else's car. I expect the same courtesy.

MyFairyKing · 03/09/2014 08:39

Well, luckily for you, you can walk that far. I am disabled, use crutches and need space to get out. I can usually manage perfectly fine and sometimes I park in a perfect space and when I return, some tosser has parked so close to me that they're practically in my car. How on earth do you manage when that happens?!

lampygirl · 03/09/2014 08:40

I'd be pissed off if I came back to my car to find part of another car touching it. I have a nice car, spend a lot of time in it and a lot of time looking after it, and in the last 3 years have had to do over £1k worth of repairs all caused by people opening their doors into it in car parks.

That being said id be less cross at someone who had returned to a car that i had parked next to even though I try not to park next to anyone than someone who parked themselves next to me then deemed they didn't have enough space so needed to use my car as a door rest.

Cost of repair is why people don't like unruly doors in car parks, combined with cost of insurance if you claim that way if the other people don't just fess up.

Charitygirl1 · 03/09/2014 08:45

God, all this 'I'd not be happy to find your door resting on mine' is just so embarrassing. You sound like total cocks.

Nancery · 03/09/2014 08:48

The woman totally overreacted, and personally I don't see the major problem with you resting your car door either. So what if she has had previous issues with scratches etc, it wasn't the case this time. She was being an aggressive twat!

RiverTam · 03/09/2014 08:50

jesus, you can't fucking win on MN. If you advocate P&C places your an entitled middle-class cow, but god forbid you do what in many cases is unavoidable if you're not in a P&C place and your door end up resting against another car.

I have a small 3 door car and to get DD out of the back I have to have the door fairly wide open. Obviously parking in a P&C space means this is fine. If I'm not I might be OK getting her out as I can choose not to park next to someone else's car, but if they park next to me when I come back there's fuck all I can do.

She was a cunt, OP. Get Asda to check their CCTV.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 08:50

You make assumptions fairy.
I have eds hypermobility and a severe scoliosis. I also have periods on crutches. I manage to walk that far.

I can't do anything about someone being a tosser and parking close to me other than ensure that I'm not a tosser in return by damaging their property. If I struggle to get in so be it but I'm afraid I still wouldn't rest my door on their car.

Bakeoffcakes · 03/09/2014 08:52

I wouldn't mind you resting your door against my car at all.

She was an aggressive twat and I hope you get CCTV of them and they get procecuted. Nasty people.

EmeraldLion · 03/09/2014 08:53

I always rest the back door of the car against the car next to it when the dc are getting out.

It's much safer than just half opening the door when the chances are one of the dc will fling it open and hit the other car with force.

Ywnbu op and I would definitely see if there was CCTV.

diddl · 03/09/2014 08:53

"God, all this 'I'd not be happy to find your door resting on mine' is just so embarrassing. You sound like total cocks."

GrinGrin

i agree

MrsHowardRoark · 03/09/2014 08:55

What Charitygirl said.

RiverTam · 03/09/2014 08:57

"God, all this 'I'd not be happy to find your door resting on mine' is just so embarrassing. You sound like total cocks."

this x 1,000,000.

Lagoonablue · 03/09/2014 08:58

I also agree. Park somewhere else then! Supermarket car parks have really narrow spaces. It is unavoidable at times not to touch the car next to you. If you are careful it causes no damage. Get over yourselves or park your precious cars In a remote spot.

SistersOfPercy · 03/09/2014 09:02

My car was a lot of money (to me) and personally I look after it. If that makes me a cock because I don't want yet another scratch up the side of it then I'm happy to be one.

Rowgtfc72 · 03/09/2014 09:03

When I open the door to let my dd out I put my hand round the door so its my fingers on their door not door to door. Car parking places are small and just touching the door isn't going to scratch it. Much better you do that than sling the door open .

HSMMaCM · 03/09/2014 09:03

It's not unavoidable. I have never rested my car door on someone else's and would be very cross if someone did it to mine.

sixlive · 03/09/2014 09:04

So many car park spaces seem to be designed for tiny cars. You get a 4x4 parked next to you then there is no option but to touch car doors. Don't park in car parks probably actually don't drive your car if you are bothered about having your car scratch. Just admire your car on your drive where it's nice and safe.

HSMMaCM · 03/09/2014 09:04

However, the other people probably did damage to the edge of their door by banging it on OP's car.

diddl · 03/09/2014 09:04

What cars are you all driving that resting another door against it would be such a big deal??

AnnieLobeseder · 03/09/2014 09:07

As much as a cock as you think I might sound, I would be very unhappy if someone rested their car door against time and it can and does scratch the paintwork. If there isn't enough space for me to get in/out without fully opening my car door onto another car, like sanfairyanne I put my hand between my door and the other car to avoid the door touching and damaging someone else's paintwork. I would certainly have words with anyone who rested their door on my car.

Someone blithely said upthread "it's acceptable to rest your door on another car". Well, maybe to you, but not to me. And it's my car, so I have every right to have an opinion on what is and isn't acceptable in the way it's treated by random strangers.

But the other woman deliberately damaged your car OP, which is an actual criminal offence rather than just a MN point of contention, so I hope you have some luck with the CCTV.

mimishimmi · 03/09/2014 09:09

YABU I'm afraid. Yours was touching hers first and as you didn't explain the situation to her, there was no way she could have known that it didn't slam into hers.

However, she did over-react. AndYANBU to be upset. I just don't think you'd have a police case though because the CCTV would also show that your door was touching hers first.