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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you have a child at boarding school...

418 replies

curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:07

Can I ask you why?

I know it's old but finally catching up on sky plus and watching the Harrow programme...

It seems so sad to send a child to boarding school, especially when some seem so resistant.

My DH said people do it because they have to, military etc.

So can I ask why you do it, if you do?

OP posts:
AgaPanthers · 04/03/2014 13:09

Can I ask you why you don't search before starting bunfights?

E.g. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1714104-Boarding-schools-for-children-under-11-is-just-wrong

among many many other such posts.

mummyofteens · 04/03/2014 13:15

hi, because they loved it and wanted to board :) slightly different for us as our kids were day pupils at a boarding school. They both chose to flexi-board even though we lived in the village where the school is situated. They would stay at school as much as possible but we do live in the middle of nowhere, their friends were at school, it was more like a youth club in the evenings for the boys, a big sleepover for the girls on their house, film nights in the basement with hot choc and popcorn. i am sure they are many, many reasons people choose boarding schools for their children and if people don't like the idea, don't choose it, but please don't judge either :)

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:15

How is it a bun fight??

OP posts:
SadFreak · 04/03/2014 13:16

because there are millions of boarding school threads already on here and misr if not all turn onto a bun fight

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:18

One of my DH's friends boarded and loved it for a while, I'm not judging, I just wondered what the reasoning was if it wasn't job / travel related.

OP posts:
AgaPanthers · 04/03/2014 13:18

because you are basically accusing parents of child abuse.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:18

How on earth am I accusing of child abuse? There's one person starting a fight and that's you.

OP posts:
ComposHat · 04/03/2014 13:19

I don't think the op is starting a bunfight aga. She is asking a question about something that is outside the experience of the overwhelming majority of people.

Most of us who weren't educated at a boarding school or placed children in them quite legitimately find it unusual to separate very young children from presumably loving parents.

squoosh · 04/03/2014 13:22

I would argue that it is a bit bunfighty, even if she doesn't realise it.

'It seems so sad to send a child to boarding school'

More than a little judgey don't you think?

nannynewo · 04/03/2014 13:22

What was the programme called please? I would like to watch it :)

mummyofteens · 04/03/2014 13:24

'It seems so sad' is a very emotive phrase, that is why i felt it was a little judgemental. i don't want an argument, i didn't go to private school, the only boarding schools i knew anything about was the ones in Enid Blyton books :)

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:24

Harrow, A Very British School. I'm only one episode in at the moment but its very good!

My post is nothing like that post you've linked to... I'm asking a legitimate question I'm interested in. That person is saying boarding for under 11's is wrong.

There's really no need to be so defensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:25

And saying something 'seems' sad to me is exactly why I wanted to hear about it. Why people send them and that they weren't, in comparison with this programme I suppose where some of these boys seem very homesick.

OP posts:
meditrina · 04/03/2014 13:29

The programme was, of course, edited for effect.

Dancergirl · 04/03/2014 13:29

Dh and I loved watching the Harrow programme.

We felt we knew Martin Smith personally after the series finished, he seemed like a lovely man Smile

queenofthemountains · 04/03/2014 13:30

I'm relatively new to mumsnet and am interested in this. I have not seen the other threads and other new people won't have either.

I am interested in why people send their children to boarding school. I don't understand why you would send your children to board, but I am from a very working class background where it was never an option financially or personally and have very limited experience of people who have boarded.

I have a friend who has just announced her son will board for secondary and I am totally shocked by her decision, she has really gone down in my estimation, I don't understand why you have children just to send them away?

I am not interested in starting a fight or being part of one, just interested in why people do send their children to board and maybe their replies will change my mind.

bronya · 04/03/2014 13:30

My parents sent me because we lived abroad. I could have travelled 40min (minimum) each way to the closest international school, but that didn't have a great reputation and my Dad didn't want me to be so far from all my friends.

Family friends of ours are sending their children because, although there are excelled prep schools in this area that the children currently attend, there are very few private senior schools, and none with a really good reputation.

bronya · 04/03/2014 13:30

*excellent - keyboard sticks!

FoxesRevenge · 04/03/2014 13:31

I watched a boarding school programme some time ago, perhaps the same one you're watching, not sure. Anyway, before I watched it I too thought it was cruel to send kids to boarding school and was of the opinion that you shouldn't have kids if you are going to send them away.

However, by the time the programme had finished and I had learnt some interesting facts and I was totally bowled over by it. I particularly like the idea or boarding through the week and going home at the weekend. Best of both worlds!

The programme I saw had parents who were in the military, busy working parents and parents who just sent them there for the experience and a quality education.

babybarrister · 04/03/2014 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkandwhite · 04/03/2014 13:33

The people I know who send their children to boarding school primarily do it because they are working overseas and feel their child would get a better education in England.

FoxesRevenge · 04/03/2014 13:33

I think it would be a good idea if all kids spent a year boarding at some point.

whois · 04/03/2014 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:35

I don't think I could bear to be apart from my child, more for my sake than hers, I wouldn't cope.

OP posts:
Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 04/03/2014 13:36

That was in answer to foxes, not about boarding for everyone,

OP posts:
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