If you have a child at boarding school...

[curiousgeorgie]

Can I ask you why?

I know it's old but finally catching up on sky plus and watching the Harrow programme...

It seems so sad to send a child to boarding school, especially when some seem so resistant.

My DH said people do it because they have to, military etc.

So can I ask why you do it, if you do?

[BMW6]

Well, The Weasley's all boarded and no-one can doubt that their parents loved them!!

[keb1]

Both my brother and I went to boarding school. He loved it, I HATED it! I felt abandoned. Different children react differently. After my experience I would never send my children away but my brother would. There are always reasons for or against, it depends on the child really.

[pixiepotter]

ah the truth hurts doesn't it, Korma?

[wobblyweebles]

Both my brother and I went to boarding school. He loved it, I HATED it! I felt abandoned

I went to the local comp whereas my brothers went to boarding school. I felt abandoned...

[Taz1212]

DS would love to board. I won't let him because I would miss him too much. He's at a private day school and he wishes he could just live there -it's hard to drag him away from the place!

[Minifingers]

Some people don't want their children around.

Sorry - this is the truth, or at least it was believed to be the case by some of the children I went to boarding school with. I suspect my dad liked us being there because it meant he had my mum all to himself.

[Minifingers]

Btw - the biggest attraction of boarding school for me was being able to drink and smoke and not be caught. With 1 adult overseeing several dozen children you don't get much parenting or even that much supervision a lot of the time.

Self harming and eating disorders were rife. Much easier to indulge these away from the watchful eyes of a parent.

[Waltonswatcher1]

Having just had three hours of hell with my 'not quite right' ds11, I can see what Pixie MIGHT mean . There are times when it would be nice to let someone else deal with 'it'.Boarding is an option chosen by many for this reason .
Parenting whilst boarding has got to be easier on many many levels, or else parents wouldn't choose it .

I am not against boarding- I was a house matron in an all boys preparatory school . I loved my pastoral role felt lucky to be in a caring position to so many kids . We used to have enormous fun ; often directed at the stuffy ,arrogant and evil tutors ... Some of them had no right to be near children .

[formerbabe]

If anyone knows of a free, boarding school which can take them from the age of three...and hand back 2 well spoken, intelligent 18 year olds at the end of it, can they please let me know, because I am exhausted and could use a good rest (15 years would be fab).

[happybubblebrain]

I really wanted to go to boarding school when I was young, to escape my family, but alas they were too poor.

I think in some families children are far better off at boarding school. Aren't boarding schools mostly for rich people who decide they don't like being a parent afterall?

[Iseesheep]

I boarded because that was how my parents, grand parents etc schooled their kids. My two children 14 and 12 board mainly because we're a forces family and it's the only way of giving them a continuous education whilst keeping the family together. And before anyone suggests that we've split the family up, we gave the kids the option of staying in one place and my husband coming home weekly/monthly/3 monthly/6 monthly (location dependent); they chose to board.

I don't love my children any less than the people who feel they couldn't send them away to school. I don't struggled with them fitting back into 'home' life. I don't find it difficult to parent (they were immaculately mannered, kind, loving, stroppy children when they got to boarding school so that's down to me and my husband!) and they both consider, rightly, 'home' to be where their parents are.

I struggled desperately for the first two years they were away, still struggle now to be honest, but the fact they've managed to keep their circle of friends and that my boy, who is dyslexic and has dyscalculia, has improved by at least 3 academic years since stopping the constant school swapping, keeps on reminding me that it was absolutely the right thing to do. For us.

[Iseesheep]

pixiepotter - Boarding school...so much easier than parenting

That's right. We all pack our kids off to boarding school so we can sod off out on the piss 7 nights a week!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Dd is a day girl at a boarding school. It is a specialist school for children with a particular talent & about half the children in dds year are funded by government scholarships rather like the school morethans dd wants to go to is. He other half are on bursaries.

The main reason dd doesn't board is money, as she's on a bursary we have to pay fees. She is however staying their two nights this week & will board during performance weeks.

Most ofcthe parents would never ever have considered boarding school for their children prior to them being identified as having a particular talent.

Dd loves the school & is do much happier there than at her old one.

[FraidyCat]

I went after primary school, against my better judgement at the time. My parents talked me into it by going on about what a great opportunity it was, pointing out that most of the cost covered by scholarships and bursaries.

I thought

1. I would be forced to participate in officially supported activities rather that what interested me.

I was proved right. As a teenager, among other things, I read philosophy and taught myself electronics, but had the majority of every day taken up with things I didn't want to do. In fact it was school policy, written down, that barely half-an-hour of every day should we be left to our own devices.

1. That it would hamper my ability to stick with the only sport I excelled at, Karate

I was right. I eventually only agreed to go because the school had just started offering it. Then after one year, the teacher who was qualified to teach Karate moved on, and the school stopped offering it. Even if he'd stayed, splitting the year between school and home would have interfered with training/progress. After he left, I used to miss dinner and run a couple of miles to a local state school and do some training there, but they had different terms, and I was treading water rather than progressing.

1. That it would be a nightmare place full of bullying, like some Dickensian novel.

It was. The prefects ran the school, no teachers let alone parents had a clue what went on, or if they did, they didn't let on. Whenever I read people on here saying how great things are, I think how the fuck do you know? How do you know you child isn't telling you that because he'll get the shit kicked out of him if he tells you anything else? For three months at a time, 24 hours a day (except when sitting in a classroom or some teacher-supervised activity) I was completely at the mercy of sadistic and bored final-year pupils.

I recall the scene in "Another Country" where one boy talks bitterly about how outraged the parents would be if they knew what went on. His friend replies something like. "They do know. Well the fathers do."

My parents moved the same year I went to board, so I had nowhere to return to, no friends to go back to, if I tried to leave boarding school. So I stayed. At 13 I realised my parents were just going to be people I saw between each term, marking time alone in their house, until I could return to the only (shit) life I had, at school.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Most ofcthe parents would never ever have considered boarding school for their children prior to them being identified as having a particular talent

Exactly. I think some people are unaware that there are different types of boarding schools offering different types of education and terms.
Some are home every weekend, every other weekend, flexi etc.
There are large ones and some where there are only a small number of boarders that are small schools.

[merrymouse]

I dong know, but I would imagine that If you are a very sociable child who loves extra curricula activities and sleepovers it is fun, and if your parents also work long hours if is convenient.

[chicaguapa]

My dad was military and I went to boarding school from 9-12 yo. I loved it and in fact clicked on this thread as I have recently got back in contact with my friends from there. We're having a blast reminiscing and there's something magical about sharing the memories with the people you were there with. My friends were my extended family.

The flip side is that I'm very independent and not close to my immediate family. Whether I would have turned out like that anyway, I don't know.

I had the most amazing time there. Not every day was great and I hated the homesickness. But I had experiences that were unique to that time (ie multiculturalism) and if I could turn back the clock I'd still go.

Whether I could send DC is another matter. I'd be more likely to if we lived down the road. I'm not sure I would if we lived in another country as they'd feel too far away.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I think so much has changed in terms of problems being hidden.
I don't have experience of the old type of boarding school but have heard tales of bullying, children being grossly unhappy etc.
Now, when you can Skype every night, pick them up and take them to lunch, collect them on a Friday night for the weekend etc, its a different ball game.
I'm pretty sure that any self respecting parent would know if their child was unhappy and I'm sure children today would say so.

[lottieandmia]

Boarding school seems to be a part of the culture of some families. I couldn't imagine sending my children to boarding school but that's because our family doesn't have that as part of our culture. So there is no way I would judge anyone who does choose it.

[lottieandmia]

Bullying goes on in any school.